


The Elements of the Karmanami Table

by ionica01



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Character Development, Coming of Age, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Karmanami - Freeform, Slice of Life, University Life, but also angst, karumana - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-01-20 09:45:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 51,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12430173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionica01/pseuds/ionica01
Summary: More than four years after Korosensei's death, class 3-E still holds reunions. However, Manami can't help but feel like they've grown distant. Friends like Karma-kun, to whom she could confide anything, have grown to be mere acquaintances.However, this specific reunion doesn't go like the others. Mostly because after it's over, the redhead in question waits for her, claiming he has something to talk about.A story about growing up and redescovering oneself, about love and friendship and mostly, about the assassin that sleeps within each of us.





	1. Hydrogene

**Author's Note:**

> This story started as a prompt given to me by a lovely reader! I loved the idea so much that I couldn't stand to leave it as an one-shot. However, I couldn't only make it Karmanami either, so here you have a character-development based work, whose core is a Karmanami story, with some sprinkles (I won't spoil, but basically moe couples, OCs and fluff with a healthy dose of angst).
> 
> Each chapter will be named after a chemistry notion (just like Manami, I'mscience trash:)). Chapter one is Hydrogene (they will in more cases than not be linked to the meaning of the chapter). Hydrogene is the first element of the periodic table. It doesnțt really fit in any group and itțs pretty instable all by itself.

Manami hopped off the train and made a sprint for the metro station. From the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of the digital clock. 16:48, it coldly displayed.

She willed her feet to move even faster, climbing the stairs two at a time. The scientist cursed her lack of exercise- what would Korosensei have said had he seen the terrible shape she was in?

But Korosensei wasn’t there anymore. He hadn’t been there for the past four and a half years. The simple thought made Manami’s heart squeeze.

She barely had time to read the direction of the subway as she turned right in a tight angle, all the while struggling to push the pain that accompanied all the memories of Korosensei somewhere deep down. One would expect her to have gotten over it by now. She doubted she ever would be able of such a feat, though. How could she forget when he had shaped her into who she was now? When it was because of him that she even had the courage to pursue her dream?

Manami managed to jump on the subway just as the doors were closing. She loosed a deep breath once she checked the number and direction were correct and leaned against a pole. She had three stops to catch her breath, before she was going to launch for another crazy run and hopefully make it to Muramatsu’s restaurant without getting lost on the narrow streets.

She had missed Kunugigaoka City. Studying kept her in Tsubasa most of the year, and most of the projects brought her to Tokyo. Kunugigaoka, however, was the city she found herself most attached to. It held a special place in her heart and her roots were deeply stuck in this city. Finally having time to spend the weekend here made her smile under her breath.

She got up at her station and tried to persuade her feet into listening to her brain. Sometimes, she really wished she could overwrite science truths such as the accumulation of lactic acid in her tired muscles. She clutched her purse and sped up until she couldn’t feel her feet anymore. 16:54, the clock mocked her.

Manami ran as if her life depended on it, trusting her memory to lead her down the right path. A left taken just as she exited the train station, the next right and then another right. A pleasantly lit street opened up in front of her and the buzz of conversation filled the background. Muramatsu’s restaurant should have been on the next street to the left.

She hadn’t seen her middle school friends in what seemed like forever, although it was only five months. She hadn’t been able to make their last meeting during the summer break, because she had scored a spot on a science project and spent the hot months of July and August in the richest laboratory she had ever had the pleasure of laying her eyes on. However, she had seen Kayano and Kanzaki two months ago, when they made a surprise visit to her campus- apparently, Kayano shot a scene nearby- and they always kept in touch.

Manami spotted the restaurant easily- the lights were on and the sound of laughter reached her ears, carried by the autumn breeze. She slowed down, finally feeling the pain in her legs-they were throbbing violently, but she couldn’t care less. A wide smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. 

She eventually stopped in front of the curtain of the restaurant to straighten herself and wipe the stupid grin off her face. She hadn’t realised just how much she had missed her friends.

Manami wiped the sweat off her brow and checked her clock. 16:59, the screen of her phone blinked, making her smirk smugly, as if she had won a bet with time.

She was just about to enter when a voice called her. 

“Okuda-san!”

She didn’t need to look up to know who had called her. The purring tone was unforgettable, engraved in her mind forever after the countless conversations over the phone they had shared. It was the temptation to see him again made her look to the roof, where a mop of red hair was glinting like fire in the light from Muramatsu’s shop.

It took Karma only a few seconds and a well calculated jump to land in front of her. He had grown even taller since the last time she had seen him- when had that been? Eight months ago?

“Karma-kun!” she greeted him back. 

He brushed his bangs aside, revealing the golden orbits that hold the key to hundreds of unanswered questions and mysteries. She met them warily, afraid of what would await her there. 

They hadn’t talked in what seemed like forever. Studies and work had kept them busy, and the once daily calls became weekly, then monthly, then they became random messages and then birthday wishes. They hadn’t  _ talked _ in years. Manami’s heart squeezed even tighter than at the memory of Korosensei.

“Don’t look so worried, Okuda-san! You know the rooftops are faster,” Karma smiled. She didn’t know she had missed that smile-  _ his  _ smile- until she saw it. It felt like she hadn’t eaten for days, and now that she got a taste of the toffee, her appetite asked for more.

Wiping the grin was impossible after all.

“Should we go in?” he eventually asked, holding the curtain open for her. Manami accepted his invitation and entered without another word to him. 

As if words were needed. As if they were ever enough. 

The room was brightly lit and mostly everyone was there, gathered around three tables pulled together. The sound of her heels made heads turn, whereas the sound of heavy steps behind her made eyes widen.

“Manami-chaaan!” Kayano called out to her, jumping out of her seat to hug the scientist. She hugged her friend back, trying not to choke from the force of the embrace. From the corner of her eye, Manami could also see Kanzaki approach them.

“Long time no see, Karma,” Isogai pleasantly called out, getting up to squeeze his hand. Nagisa was already next to Karma- when did he get there, Manami wasn’t sure. “You too, Okuda-san,” Isogai added. She nodded from behind Kayano’s loving hug, afraid she’d choke on her words if she was brave enough to try speaking.

“Did you guys come together?” Nakamura chimed in her usual mocking voice.

“Just met outside,” Karma brushed her off and greeted the others with a nod. He sat down next to Nagisa and opposite a grinning Nakamura. Some things never changed, and that gave Manami a feeling of comfort.

When Kayano finally liberated an exhausted Manami, Kanzaki only hugged her gently and she was finally allowed to take a seat.

Karma patted the seat next to his wordlessly, and Manami took up his invitation. He treated her the same as always, as if the distance between them had never existed. Manami curled her fingers into a fist, creasing the material of her skirt. She missed their easygoing relationship more than she let herself admit.

“And what happened that made you decide to visit us lowly humans?” Terasaka spat his question at Karma. He hadn’t attended the last two meetings. In fact, he generally only showed up at Korosensei’s anniversary.

“Just making sure my lackey was alive. Now that I’ve entered university, I’ll need someone to do the dirty work for me, won’t I?” he smirked.

“Keep dreaming,” Terasaka rolled his eyes.

“Oh come on, Rip-off Takaoka. You’ll have an easy life if you listen to my commands.”

“As if!” the violent boy slammed his fist against the table.

“Easy!” Muramatsu warned, “You’re gonna spill the udon!”

“Two more here, chef!” Karma called, pointing towards Manami and him.

“Yes yes, coming,” the cook answered before disappearing into the kitchen.

“So, what did we miss?” Karma asked, loosening his tie. 

Manami hadn’t noticed it while they were in the dim-lit street, but Karma was wearing a full suit, as if he was a real politician. It suited him well, but she prefered the black cardigan- that felt cosier.

“Not much,” Kataoka answered. “We were just talking about what each of us had been up to.”

“What do you mean not much?!” Maehara protested. “You were just about to tell us how you and Isogai got together!”

“Congratulations!” Manami clapped. She heard Karma hum appreciatively from beside her.

“Oh come on guys, it’s not that big of a deal,” Isogai waved them off, face on fire.

“Whatever could you possibly mean, class rep? Finding your significant other isn’t something to be celebrated for you?” Karma teased.

“You’re being overly dramatic, Akabane,” Kataoka responded with a glare in his direction, but Maehara seemed to agree with the red head.

“No, Akabane is right,” he grinned, “you need to celebrate this by telling us the whole story!”

Nods and excited interjections made the couple give in. And so, the rest of the night was spent slurping noodles and listening to the story of how the two class reps got together, then hearing about Kayano’s new movie and Sugino’s latest baseball match. 

Manami was generally bad with words, but her clumsiness in expressing herself intensified when her feelings were so loud. She quietly indulged herself into the fairytale-like space that the restaurant granted her, cozily wrapped up in her friends’ warmth. 

Only here, she was still part of the Assassination Classroom.

If not for the hinders of science, she would have claimed that they all travelled back in time. Kayano was still a pudding-addict, Nagisa still kept his hair in twin pigtails, Nakamura still shoved the picture of him kissing Kayano in their faces. And Karma was there next to her too, plotting as always, making fun of Nagisa and winking in her direction from time to time. 

Just like the old times.

Only that damned suit Karma was wearing and her hair that hung in a single tail over her shoulder had to remind her that they weren’t assassins anymore. 

Manami wouldn’t have described herself as a sentimentalist, but she did miss Class 3-E greatly. She owed who she was now to her colleagues and to her teachers, that much was obvious to her. She knew her classmates shared similar feelings, and yet, she couldn’t help but think they weren’t as far away from the assassins they once were as she was.

To start with, Manami had never been a great assassin. Sure she had her fair share of training, but poison and explosives were still her strongest suit. Once she abandoned the rubber blade in her drawer, she stopped being Poison Glasses and started being bland Okuda Manami again.

The scientist loved her new university, she loved chemistry and she loved her life. And yet… she couldn’t help but wish to return to her middle school class.

She glanced at Karma, who was mocking Nagisa. He gave off the feeling that time had stopped for him, and his face froze on that mischievous smirk Manami could never forget. Her guts twisted when she thought of how he was in a whole other world from her- as were Kayano, Kanzaki and Nagisa. They each had their own independent lives, universes that barely grazed against each other once every four or five months.

Manami curled into herself, suddenly feeling very lonely.

The clock ticked away with no care in the world, threatening the length of the reunion. Its ticks hurt Manami’s ears, tightening those unpleasant knots.

Indeed, the time to say goodbyes came earlier than she was prepared for. She tried in vain to prolong the moment, getting up slowly and taking her time to brush off her skirt. She knew fully well that once she walked out of the restaurant, she’d return to being a normal chemistry student, that she’d have to leave the Assassination Classroom and Korosensei behind.

“Than we’ll see each other tomorrow, right, Manami-chan?” Kayano asked with a beam.

Okuda nodded, yet her thoughts were distant. Sure, she’d meet her friends tomorrow, but as regular adults. Not as assassins anymore.

One step on the cement outside the restaurant and the fairytale would dissipate. Manami remembered why she was so scared of reunions-they always came to an end, and they always left a small, empty hole in her heart.

She steeled herself and shook the worries off. In a week, the effect of the reunion would wear off and she’d be back to her normal schedule. ‘You can do this,’ she told herself, taking a step outside.

The street lamps were blinding.

“Okuda-san!” a voice behind her called, startling Manami. She turned on her heels towards the source of the voice, a glimmer of hope lighting up in her heart.

Karma was leaning against the outer wall of Muramatsu’s restaurant, watching her intently from the shadows.

“Are you free right now?”

Manami nodded, putting more energy into it than she thought she had left. She hadn’t realised she was wishing for him to say that until the words were fleeting in the dim-lit space between them.

Karma grinned at her. “I was hoping you’d say yes. I have something to talk to you about.”

The fairytale wasn’t over just yet.


	2. Suspension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The toughest battle is the one between what you know and what you feel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make each chapter summary a quote (my quote notebook will finally come in handy).  
> Anyway, today's title is suspension. A suspension is a heterogenous mixture of larger, visible particles that will settle out after a while. Muddy water is an example of a suspension.

“They still have toffee!” Manami yelped. She heard a chuckle from the man standing in front of her and quickly hid behind the menu, embarrassed by her own outburst.

“And they still have the best strawberry shortcakes in town,” Karma informed her with a grin.

Manami peeked at him from behind her menu, trying to figure out what it was that he could have possibly needed from her. As always, Karma was being secretive and planning ahead. Not that she minded-she enjoyed his presence and toffee was always a welcome addition. Besides, she was acting more and more like herself around him, which was a relief. Karma was the last person she wanted to hide from.

The place he had brought her to was a cosy café, hidden from prying eyes. Despite the new decorations in the small shop, Manami recognized it as the one she and Karma used for their strategy meetings back in middle school. They would meet there every week to plan the next method of killing their teacher and enjoy their favourite desserts. It was their secret- nobody else knew of this place, not even the pudding-addict Kayano.

“It feels nostalgic,” Manami admitted, letting the menu rest on the table.

Karma spent a few moments looking around the small shop, taking in the changes.

“It does,” he eventually acknowledged with a distant look.

Sometimes, Manami wondered if he too missed the Assassination Classroom the way she did. If the readhead felt the same punch delivered to his guts when he remembered their teacher. And then she remembered seeing him cry for the first time that fateful night and realised she didn’t need to ask him to know the answer. 

Some things just couldn’t let anyone indifferent.

“We haven’t done this in forever,” Karma joked, waving to the waiter to take their command.

“Are we here to plot again?” Manami asked him once the waiter was gone, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

“Was there ever a time when I didn’t have a plan in mind, Okuda-san?” Karma smirked.

“I accused you of no such thing,” the girl smiled in return.

“I would have been offended if you did.” He made a dramatic pause before continuing.

Manami sometimes wondered what was going on behind the golden orbits when he wasn’t talking, but that was part of Karma’s charm, she guessed. It was better off as a secret- one that kept her on the edge of her seat anytime he was about to talk. Karma really was a box of surprises for her.

“Well, I can assure you we aren’t here today to assassinate someone,” Karma eventually said. “I’m actually about to ask you for a favour.”

“Sure, if I can help,” Manami responded without hesitation.

Karma chuckled again. “You’re always like that, Okuda-san.”

“Hmm? Like what?” the girl asked confused.

“Well that’s part of why I like you so much,” Karma ignored her question. 

What did he mean? She didn’t get a chance to inquire further, as he continued, “My university is organizing this educational fair each year. Basically, we set up a booth for each subject and come up with activities that would attract little children to a certain domain. Career counseling through games, if you wish to call it so.”

Manami nodded for Karma to continue. Other questions could be held back for later.

“The idea is not to advertise for an university, but to make kids interested in a subject. That’s why we get universities from all around Japan to meet up in Tokyo, each of them exposing what they’re best known for.”

The waiter brought them their orders. The toffee looked every bit as good as Manami remembered it to be, and Karma made a sign for her to dive in as he continued explaining.

“Each year, another department of our university gets to organise the fair, to keep it diverse. This year is the Law Department.”

“And that’s where you come in,” Manami predicted, earning a grin from Karma.

“Precisely.” He took a bite from the strawberry shortcake and hummed. “The procedure is that the best students get to organise it. Each of us took charge of one subject, apart from organising our own booth. And  _ I _ ,” he stopped to flash Manami a smirk, “volunteered for science.”

“So,” she pointed her spoon at him, “you basically want to invite my university for the science booth.”

“Bingo.”

“Shouldn’t you have launched an official invitation?”

“That will arrive at your Head Teacher on Monday. I just figured you should know what that’s about,” Karma put his own spoon against hers.

“You are making it impossible for me to refuse, aren’t you?” Manami questioned him.

“Nothing less to expect from Okuda-san! You saw through my act right away. You know,” he added, leaning back into his seat and rocking in his chair, “my reputation as an organiser depends on your presence.”

“Karma-kun,” Okuda sighed, “I would have accepted anyway.”

“I know, I know. But it was a pertinent excuse to take you out on a dessert date.”

Karma was smiling while he let his last line linger between them. Okuda couldn’t tell if he was mocking her or being honest, so she decided to munch on her toffee to buy time. Karma always wielded words with double meaning, making Manami feel more confused than ever. He should have known she was bad with those sort of unclear statements.

When she looked up to him, he was chewing slowly, his eyes glued on her. It made Manami’s blood rush to her cheeks. She talked just to take her mind off his stare.

“What’s with the suit?” 

Manami thought she saw the flicker in his eyes die, but his voice was so cheerful she must have imagined it.

“Our teacher claims that ‘the more you look it, the more you act it’, so he makes us come in suits or robes in class. I’ll have to wear it at least eight hours a day at work anyway. Besides, I think it looks pretty slick,” he proudly declared.

“It suits you, but I miss the cardigan,” Manami answered without thinking.

Karma raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Oh? Then I should wear it from now on when I am to meet you.”

“You-you  really don’t have to.”

“But I insist,” Karma grinned.

Manami changed the subject not-so-swiftly, “You haven’t been to a class reunion in ages. Why is that?”

“Mostly because of university. Oh and Asano is always keeping me on my toes with his petty schemes. Besides,” he added nonchalantly, “it’s no fun if Okuda-san isn’t there. Heard you weren’t at the last one.”

“Yeah, I scored a place in a summer project that kept me in Kyoto,” she confirmed, trying to ignore the tightness in her throat. She hadn’t seen Karma in ages- that must have been it.

“That sounds pretty cool.”

“It really was!” Manami exclaimed with excitement, before launching into an explanation of the course. She had missed being at ease like this, talking to her heart’s content about her passion. Slowly, the tightness also disappeared, as she immersed herself in the topic. Karma listened intently, asking the questions that she hadn’t realised she craved to hear. Karma hadn’t changed- he really was the best friend she could ask for.

It was already late when Manami started asking Karma questions about  _ his _ projects, and yet it felt like only a few minutes had passed. They had so much to catch up on that they didn’t even notice when the closing time of the café came around and they were forced to leave.

Karma offered to walk her home, an offer which Manami couldn’t refuse. If possible, she wanted to keep talking with him throughout the entire night, but she knew that wouldn’t be advisable.

Only when he walked next to her did Manami realise that the height difference between them had increased. That wasn’t the only thing that had changed, though- Karma seemed more mature, in a way Manami couldn’t pinpoint. It was in his pleasant manner of speech towards the strangest, in that business smile he plastered on his face, which made Manami glad she could see his mischievous side, the more honest one.

She pondered she must have changed, too, without noticing. And yet, their relationship hadn’t. She was afraid it would, but Karma made it seem natural for them to walk side by side, talking without reservations. And that filled whatever hole the absence of class 3-E left in her heart.

They reached her complex too soon. 

Karma walked her to her door.

“Well then, Okuda-san, I guess we’ll see more of each other from now on,” he said.

“Yeah,” she nodded, at a loss of words. She hadn’t realised how comforting his words sounded until she heard them out loud.

“I’ll send you the information tomorrow, if you want, though your school will receive it on Monday, too.”

“Isn’t that cheating?” she teased him.

He smiled in the almost dark hallway. “Not really, as long as nobody else knows that you know.”

Okuda smirked back at him. “That means we’re partners in crime.”

“Again,” Karma reminded her, raising his pinky. She curled hers around his in return. His hands were much bigger than they used to be, but they were warm. Warm and secure.

Silence seemed to feel at home between the two of them, and Manami welcomed it with open arms. She couldn’t process both words and feelings at the same time, so she felt content with just holding Karma’s gaze and trying to decipher what it was that lurked behind his pupils. It was too dark to tell, yet the golden orbits still glinted from time to time. Daring her? No, rather calling for her. Calling to her. Saying something. What? That, Manami didn’t know.

She wasn’t sure how much time he allowed her to search, but he eventually flashed her a quick smile and took a step back.

“Well then, good night, Okuda-san!”

“Good night!” she wished him back and entered her house, waving at him.

Only once she was inside did Okuda feel her cheeks burning and crouched to the ground, hugging her knees. Her insides felt strangely warm and fuzzy. She looked at her hand, almost expecting it to bear a distinctive sign after Karma had touched her. It looked the same as usual, though.

“I’m home,” she called, her voice muffled by her scarf.

“Welcome home! Were you with someone, Manami? I had the impression I heard voices,” her mother called back from the kitchen.

“Yeah, with a friend.”

“That’s great! Dinner will be ready soon, sweetheart!”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes!”

Manami entered her bedroom and leaned against the shut door. 

It was still the same as she had left it, science books scattered all over the desk and a framed picture of her middle-school class on her bedside, alongside one of her friends from high school. Manami picked up the framed photo and traced the tentacles which were tenderly wrapped around the students.

Her eyes fell on the mop of red hair and she scooped her phone from the bag, searching through her messages. The last one from Karma had been on Christmas, when she wished him happy birthday. She tightened her grasp on the phone and let herself fall on her bed, swiping through the other messages. They had really been shallow, that thought daunted on her. They had lost so much time, lost contact-and why?

A buzz from her phone startled her. To her surprise, the new message was from the redhead in question.

_ Okuda-san, I’m glad I got to see you today _ .

Manami read it twice to assure herself it wasn’t some self-induced illusion before replying.

_ Me too. I missed this! _

“Manami, dinner is ready!” her mother called.

“I’m coming!” the girl answered, leaving the phone on her bed and rushing to have dinner with her parents.

* * *

Karma typed as he leant against the street lamp. He watched her window one more time before hitting “send”.

The lights in Okuda’s room were on, but the curtains were pulled over the windows so Karma couldn’t see a thing.

The phone screen lit up with her reply. 

_ Me too. I missed this. _

Karma smiled as he started typing back.

The light in Okuda's room went off.

Karma put his phone back in his pocket and sighed. She’d reply later.

He ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his tired eyes. It had been a long day, but he wished it could have been even longer. He had missed talking to someone so freely, had missed her smile and her enthusiasm.

His theory had been right after all, that much was clear without a mountain of evidence.

Karma heaved himself off the street lamp and started walking towards the train station, pondering his course of action.

Okuda-san was as dense as ever, but he was a patient man. He wasn’t going to repeat mistakes twice, not if he could prevent them.

Besides, the people who are worth it the most are to be fought for and waited on forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> I hope you have enjoyed this chapter, since I personally found it very enjoable to write! Hopefully you'll stay tuned to next chapter, which will present Krma's life philosophy (the way I see it) and his motivations.  
> As always, kudos and comments are much loved! Your kind words keep me sane!


	3. Catalyst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised, this chapter looks into the motivation Karma hides behind his golden irises. Also, I hope you do like NagiKae, because you are about to get more of them in the following chapters:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: A catalyst is a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change. It changes the velocity of a reaction, but never influences the equilibrium of one.

There was so much light outside that it might as well have been pitch darkness. Nagisa still wouldn’t have seen a thing.

He blinked the obscurity away, willing his eyes to adjust to the light. It was the same every time he woke up, every time he looked into the sun without protection glasses, every time piles of snow reflected the brightness of the sun. You would have expected him to get used to the blindness, but he still couldn’t shake away the feeling that, for a couple of seconds, a blind spot exposed him to everyone, and he honed all of his other senses to grasp any source of danger.

The world came into focus slowly, still fuzzy in the corners of his eyes, like it always did. The first things that became clear were the red lights of the traffic, then the glimmering advertisements, and then the people that were walking casually down the street, each of them set to achieve their own goal, oblivious to Nagisa’s worries. 

He swallowed back a sigh- Professor Bitch was right after all. Once the assassin within you was awakened, you could never put him to sleep again.

“That was a good film.” A mop of red hair came into focus to Nagisa’s right, its possessor nonchalantly sticking his hands in his pockets. Nagisa realised he had taken a defensive stance when Karma threw him a brief look over his shoulder and snapped out of his trance.

“Yeah, it was,” he admitted, catching up to Karma and slipping back into his role as a normal college student. He needed to learn to lull his instincts back into their peaceful slumber.

“Kayano-chan really is an international actrice. I still can’t believe it,” Karma shook his head.

“Well, she deserves it.” 

Nagisa had only visited her studio once,  but it was more than enough for the raw emotion emanating from her performance to crawl its way into Nagisa’s conscience and send shivers down his spine. She was neither Kayano, nor Haruna, nor Akari when she acted. She was a fourth party that only shared the fire in her eyes and the tremble in her voice with the other personas, waltzing around in Kayano’s body as if this ghost of a character had been dormant in the depths of her soul forever.

“I don’t get why she didn’t want us to watch this movie,” he voiced his concern out loud. The new character that had awakened inside her now was a highschool girl in love.

Nagisa had seen his fair share of romcoms, and more often than not, they fell into the same pitfalls called tropes. Despite all odds, though, Kayano managed to make the main lead feel refreshing, as if she was living the story for herself the first time. As if she herself was in love.

Nagisa thought he heard Karma say “I think I do,” but he changed the subject so quickly that no time to confirm it was allowed. “So you like romance movies?”

“Not necessarily, but I’d watch any movie that starred Kayano.”

“Is that so?” Karma purred, sliding the phone from his pocket and fidgeting with it. Nagisa pondered his last line, wondering if he had compromised himself in any way. 

Karma put the phone back before the bluehead reached a conclusion. “Do you want to go eat?” He casually asked. “I’m starving!”

“Sure,” Nagisa agreed. 

Assassination had taught the teacher-in-training that discussions always went smoother over a burger and some fries.

***

“Why do you always buy the double-cheese one?” Nagisa inquired. 

It wasn’t an important question, but it was a good conversation starter. He knew from experience how hard it was to worm information out of Karma- a rock would have been considered soft in comparison to his stubbornness. He needed an icebreaker- food was the first one he could come up with.

“Because I like my milk. It’s why I’m much taller than you,” he teased with a trademark devilish smile. Nagisa should have seen that one coming.

He watched Karma bite into his burger and chewed over the margin of his cup, waiting for the ice to melt.

Karma hummed appreciatively once he swallowed. “This,” he declared, “is better than Muramatsu’s ramen by far! Why aren’t double-cheese burgers in the cafeteria menu?! It should be introduced by law~” he thoughtfully said. 

Nagisa saw the plans rolling behind Karma’s gleeful expression. “I’m not sure that’s healthy,” he countered.

Karma squinted at him in return. “I’m taller than you by two heads,” he pointed out.

“And I’m not sure you’re the best etalon either,” the blue-haired sighed. He wasn’t getting anywhere. 

The ice in his drink was already halfway molten.

“What are you mulling over?” Karma questioned him. “Is it your hairstyle? Your university choice? Or-” he smirked devilishly- “is it the fact that I took Okuda-san out yesterday?”

Nagisa almost spilled the drink all over himself and stuttered, “H-how did you-”

“I’ve learnt how to sense your bloodlust ever since our fight back in middle school. You can’t hide from me that easily,” Karma reminded him. “Well? What about it bothers you?”

Nagisa schooled his features to remain neutral as he talked, “I was just-”  _ wondering whether you’re going to get into trouble. Worrying for you. Trying to talk you out of poisoning anyone.  _ “-curious. You haven’t spoken to her in a long time, have you?” he asked with a coy smile.

Karma leaned back into his seat and looked out the window. His betrayed no sign of having comprehended the question. The seconds ticked away, mocking Nagisa with their rhythmicity. He was about to drop the subject altogether when Karma fished a fry out of the bunch and stared at it intently. 

“Do you know what makes us any different from fries?” he asked without any courtesy for introductions.

“Where is  _ that _ coming from?” He tried to decipher what was going on behind Karma’s golden irises, but they let nothing leak. They only reflected Nagisa’s own confusion.

“Just think about it,” Karma ignored his query and went on. “We have a short lifespan in which a higher entity toys with us as they will. We only exist to cure that entity’s boredom, just as fries are only made to put an end to my hunger,” he dramatically said, nibbling at his food. 

He then proceeded to take out two other: a short, fat chip and a long, thin potato. “Each of us is unique, but we rarely take time out of our busy schedules to notice the traits that differentiate us. Unconsciously, we know they are there, but when do we ever actually analyse them?” Karma rolled the thin fry between his thumb and index finger. “You don’t take time to analyse a fry before you eat it- you just do. That’s how short and meaningless our lifespans really are,” he said, stuffing the two fries in his mouth.

Nagisa watched wordlessly as he leaned over the table towards him and concluded, “We live to entertain the Gods. As soon as they are bored with us,” Karma squashed a fry between his fingers, “we are dead.” He pointed towards the floor that hadn’t been swept yet. “That’s what happens to those without personality.”

He watched Nagisa through his bangs, eyes glinting with waggishness. “But something makes us different. Something gives our lives a meaning and it keeps us going. Something persuades us to take the time to analyse the others. Do you know what that is?”

Nagisa put his drink down and took a fry himself, bringing it in the light of the lamps. “I’d say it’s passion for something. Anything.”

“I thought so too, until a while ago. But,” Karma rolled a potato chip through the sauce spread on the napkin, “that’s not the spice in our lives, now is it? I know for a fact I wouldn’t be enjoying myself without people to play in the palm of my hand. And you wouldn’t be a teacher without your students.”

“So you want to say it’s actually relationships that make us human?”

“That’s the conclusion I came to,” Karma nodded and slurped his juice. “I may be wrong, though. And that’s why I need Okuda-san - she’s good at running experiments,” Karma grinned.

Nagisa hid a small smile. “As long as this experiment of yours doesn’t involve poisoning anybody, I have no objections.” He returned his attention to the fry, still a bit puzzled by the whole analogy. “Did you come up with the idea while eating junk food?”

“Oh no,” Karma puffed, “I just came up with it now. Hey, big intros make the presentation,” he argued when he was met with Nagisa’s baffled expression.

The blue-haired simply sighed and let it go, dipping his fry in the sauce.

Karma manifested an inclination for quipping, but his gaze didn’t falter when he mentioned the importance humanity held for him. Nagisa committed himself to watching the events unfold and offer support-

“Karma!” he yelled, spitting his food and grabbing the drink in a jiffy. The spice burnt its way through his stomach, its trail still flaming after he gulped down the juice. He wished the ice wouldn’t have melted so soon. Just what was that sauce?

“You don’t like it?” Karma pouted. “It’s my personal creation: wasabi and chilli pepper. I fancied it, but I guess it’s no good?”

Nagisa watched him in disbelief, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He had to think hard about supporting the evil smirk Karma was bearing.

* * *

 

“So you went on a date with Karma?” Kayano asked again, unable to register anything from what Manami had said after she dropped the bomb.

“As I said, Kayano-chan, it was not a date!” Manami replied for the third time. “He simply told me about a project-”

“But it was just the two of you. Alone. Eating cake,” Kayano argued. “That  _ is  _ a date!” She rolled her eyes in exasperation.

“What Kayano-chan is trying to say,” Kanzaki smoothly interjected, placing a calming hand on Kayano’s shoulder, “is that Akabane-kun surely didn’t take you out just to inform you of this project. He must have also wanted to see you, or he could have sent an e-mail.”

“Exactly!” Kayano agreed with her back-up. “That or-” her eyes widened with fear and she clasped Manami’s hands “-he doesn’t want you to poison anyone, does he?”

“No, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t,” Manami responded. “But I did miss hanging out with him- I’m actually glad he called out to me,” the bespectacled girl admitted, sipping her tea.

Kayano watched her glasses get blurry with the little clouds of steam that almost covered her small blush and listened to her talking about their evil friend. One thing that always caught Kayano off guard was how relaxed Manami seemed around Karma, as if his menacing aura didn’t exist for this girl, who was ready to see everyone for who they were, regardless of the walls they put around them. And it wasn’t only Karma- she did the same with Kayano, dissolving the high pedestal that being an actress put her on. With Kanzaki, she ignored her status and wealth with ease.

A small smile crept onto the Kayano’s lips as the scientist’s story of reborn friendship filled the space between them, soothingly weaving the melody of blossoming love. In comparison to the enthusiasm in Manami’s voice and the flicker in her purple eyes, the pudding the actress was eating seemed sour.

In the cosy silences that completed Manami’s lullaby, Kayano pondered that her own love story was just as flavourless as the pudding. Blue twin pigtails flashed before her eyes. She blinked them away, putting up a good act of ignoring the pinch of sadness.

If the script of her last movie did anything, it reminded her of how childish she was for clinging onto her feelings for Nagisa like they were a safety rope. Playing a teenager in love was easy- for once, she didn’t have to act at all. Returning to reality was the real challenge. She started jolting again when her phone buzzed with messages from him, started fantasizing about the possibility of being together after all.

It seemed wise to give up before her hopes raised too high.

Kayano pushed the thought into the depths of her brain and swallowed her sorrow-tasting pudding. Her manager wouldn’t be happy with her diet, but she could at least brighten her gloomy lovelife with sugar. Besides, what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

“Sounds like you had a good time,” Kanzaki responded to the last echoes of Manami’s story.

“Speaking of which, have you seen Sugino lately?” Kayano asked, slipping back into her role.

Kanzaki waved the question away like it was a pestering fly. “He needs to focus on his career,” she said with a voice so neutral Kayano started wondering who was the better actress.

“But don’t you miss him?” Manami asked.

“You guys know what Sugino’s like. He can’t focus on both me and his baseball,” was all that Kanzaki said. Kayano noticed the dull grey of her usually bright eyes and dropped the subject.

“What about Nagisa-kun?” Okuda innocently asked.

_ Touché. _ “We still keep in touch, but I think I’m just an afterthought for him,” Kayano shrugged, putting up her best smile. “I have my movies and he has his studies.”

“Can’t you have that  _ and  _ still meet up?” the scientist asked.

She could. But she was too afraid of rejection- afraid she’d ruin their friendship. “I think Nagisa can only see his target now,” she said instead.

“Unlike Sugino, I think Nagisa is able to multitask,” Kanzaki snickered. Kayano put up a dejected front that made Kanzaki’s smile whither on her lips. “We don’t want to force you into anything, but it wouldn’t hurt for you to visit him every now and again,” she added.

“That would just be a bother to him,” Kayano defended herself. The thought of seeing him terrified her- his messages were enough to turn her beet red, God forbid his actual face or voice.

Kanzaki sighed and ruffled Kayano’s hair. Okuda patted the back of her hand. “Do what you feel is right,” she advised her.

The actress enveloped them in a fond look. “Since when did this turn into a consolation session?” she jokingly asked, yet failed at hiding the tremble in her voice. The girls pretended not to notice it and giggled along, resuming their talk about brighter subjects- Kayano’s fortunate break from acting, Kanzaki’s preparations as a nurse, Manami’s science fair.

The pudding wasn’t so bitter after all.

***

Manami blinked at the message sparkling on her screen.

_ Okuda-san, how many experiments do you usually make to confirm a theory? _

Karma was as frank as always with his coming-out-of-nowhere questions. She thought of several reasons for his question as she typed the answer, but her gut feeling told her none was right.

_ Usually conclusive results require a minimum of 20 experiments, but social studies go with at least 100 subjects. _

_ There are smaller scale experiments, too. In the laboratory, we settle for 5 tries if the theoretical base is solid enough. That’s called a microscopic approach, where we test a theory just to make sure the mechanism we based our formulas on are correct. _

“Manami, who are you texting?” Kayano chirped.

“Uhm, Karma-kun just asked me a question,” she said, still uncertain what he was searching for.

“Lemme see!” Kayano traversed the table to peek into her phone, eyebrows suggestively raised. “Experiments?” she frowned. “What for?”

“No idea,” the scientist admitted.

“I hope this isn’t dangerous,” Kanzaki said.

The screen lightened with his reply. The girls exchanged confused looks.

_ Thank you!  _

_ What made you ask? _ Manami typed back. The girls wordlessly watched the seconds tick away, waiting for a reply. They unconsciously inched closer to the screen, the tension growing thicker by the moment.

A buzz disturbed their tense waiting, but it wasn’t from the scientist’s phone.

“That’s mine,” Kayano’s brow knitted. She didn’t budge to answer it, though. A second buzz made her frown deeper and she reluctantly pulled away from the cause of intrigue to fish for her phone.

Mere seconds later, a yelp of surprise made both Kanzaki and Manami look up from the still screen which showed Karma having opened the message.

“What happened?” Kanzaki worriedly asked. In response, Kayano covered her red cheeks and showed them her phone. 

The same mysterious messenger had written her the following line:

_ Me and Nagisa saw your latest movie- you did great, Kayano-chan!  _

And then below, his mocking voice echoed in their ears as they read the words:

_ Nagisa thinks so too~ _

Manami’s screen lightened up with scarily perfect timing.

_ Being timely is an important part of any experiment, Okuda-san. _

* * *

 

As good as double-cheese hamburgers were, fast food restaurants lacked the delicacy in the dessert department. Cherry pie didn’t hold a candle to strawberry shortcake, but Karma’s sweet tooth was in dire need of a treat, especially after an exhausting topic such as the sense of one’s existence. Karma bit back a grin- the fry comparison had pierced through all the targets like a sharp arrow.

He returned to their places with a tray of pitiable pastries that sizzled in oil. At the table, Nagisa was checking his phone. Karma sat across from him. “They only had apple and cherry pie,” he informed his friend.

The look on Nagisa’s face when he locked eyes with Karma was enough to make up for the lack of good desserts.

“You told Kayano we saw her movie?!” He made an obvious attempt at keeping his voice low, but ire was written all over his face.

“Experiments are only validated with at least five subjects,” Karma defended himself, swinging Okuda’s message in his face.

Karma let Nagisa vent over the reckless move and “certain displeasure” it caused Kayano in the background. His annoyed voice compensated the absence of sugar in his sweets, too. The redhead munched on his pie, barely listening to his friend, instead thinking up his next step.

The bluehead had time to thank him later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. The fry-theory is what I once used to escape an uncomfortable question, and I figured it would be the kind of thing Karma would resort too, as well. I honestly was in two minds whether I should writee it or not. Is it too weird?   
> I know I'm kinda keeping Karma a mystery, but I'm planning on writing his point of view in the next chapter (which WILL feature more Karmanami). I'm writing a slowburn until things pick up (and they will) but I only want to establish the characters better:) Bear with me, you know I can't resist the incoming fluff!  
> As always, kudos and comments keep me writing! Thank you for all the patience and love!


	4. Covalent Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Isogai begged me to write his PoV and the story picks up with Karma and Manami having constantly longer and sweeter interactions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Covalent Bonding is where two or more atoms bond by sharing their outer electrons, characteristic for nonmetal ions. The nucleus of an atom is never altered after the share, which occurs in order to complete their outer shell and form a more stable complex.

Chatter, hums, desperate cries for help with the homework and the sound of chopsticks reached Isogai’s ears as he walked towards the cafeteria. College life was always lively, he thought with a small smile.

He wasn’t sure when having lunch with Karma became the norm. They weren’t even in the same department anymore- Isogai continued on with Social Studies, whereas the prankster narrowed it down to the Faculty of Law, a choice that Isogai still shivered at sometimes. He knew Karma’s ambitions, and he was positive the redhead would make a great, if fearsome, bureaucrat.

Somewhere along the line, the student council president and the best Law student started tacitly meeting at the table in the corner of the cafeteria, as if honoring a pact they had never put on paper. Isogai never really stopped to ponder their friendship too much. The only thing he knew for sure was that they had gotten closer than they were in middle school- a capital full of strangers did that to you. 

They were now close enough for Isogai to tell Karma about his siblings and their shenanigans and for the latter to show him the latest postcards from his parents during breaks they took from their occasional sparring; not so close that Karma would tell him how much he missed tasting his mother’s hand-brewed tea or that Isogai would admit how he sometimes lost sleep worrying for his mother’s health.

They were close enough for Isogai to know that Karma would be there when he entered the library after a student council meeting, having sneaked in with a cup of hot chocolate and one of caramel cappuccino, Isogai’s favourite, despite the librarian’s strict punishments if food or drinks were discovered in between the shelves; not close enough for Isogai to be able to tell whether Karma waited for him out of boredom or genuine concern.

They were close enough to know when not to ask personal questions in the breaks they took from study sessions before the term papers, with Karma noticing Isogai’s missed calls from Kataoka and Isogai fully aware of Karma checking the last time he spoke with Okuda, but not close enough to ask what the other desperately needed to take off his chest.

They were close enough to become even closer friends, but not enough so that they’d become best friends. Best friends was a pretentious term that involved feelings so intense and draining Isogai doubted either him or Karma were capable of sharing with more than one person, and that was fine.

It was fine because every now and again, they went shopping together and spent a few hours messing around the mall, poking fun at how unsuitable extravagant clothes were for assassins and listening to Karma’s speech about cardigans; it was alright because they would sometimes try out the newest beverage at Starbucks and Karma would put so much cinnamon and sugar in it that Isogai could barely taste the original flavour anymore; it was okay because Isogai could call Karma at midnight and he would answer any without fail and without asking why, but instead Karma would speak of his newest prank-in-the-working and render it impossible for Isogai not to twitch his lips up in a smile. 

At the end of the day, that was what friends were for- and Isogai was glad Karma was one of them.

He smiled involuntarily when he spotted Karma’s red hair at their usual table and waved at him. The redhead didn’t notice, though, his focus on his phone-screen, whatever he was reading tugging at his lips that were crooked in a half-smile. According to their unspoken agreement, Isogai didn’t ask who it was he was messaging- the code name “Poison Glasses” wasn’t that hard to crack.

“You’re in high spirits today,” Isogai said instead of greeting. Karma looked up from his phone and upgraded his smile to a grin.

“I am always in high spirits,” he chimed. “Especially when I get to chose your lunch for you,” he mysteriously pointed to the tray of food.

Isogai looked at his pasta warily as he sat down. Karma had the habit of getting food for both of them if he was first in the cafeteria- and the liberty to play with the flavours as he wished. “What did you put in it this time?”

“You’ll have to eat and see,” Karma smirked and dove into his own bowl of spaghetti.

The delicious smell that lured Isogai into eating only made him more distrustful of Karma’s tricks. He was positive the sauce wasn’t supposed to be so red and the scent not so strong. 

In Karma’s defense, he had only threatened his life once with his spices, and that was after Isogai had suggested him as part of the organizing committee for the upcoming fair, so he guessed it was equivalent exchange. Actually, Karma had a way with cooking- his ingredients made the bland cafeteria food much tastier.

The grumble of his stomach was the final push Isogai needed to take a bite. His eyes lit up instantaneously as he plunged in for more. “What is this?” he asked in between bites.

“It’s a mix of basil, oregano, rosemary and garlic. You can get them for cheap at the supermarket. I put them in my instant soup when I’m too tired to cook,” Karma answered matter-of-factly.

Isogai stared at him eating his pasta and sighed.

“What?” Karma asked.

“You have a way of making everything seem second nature to you, you know that?”

“So do you,” Karma shrugged. “It’s only because it’s about you that you don’t notice it. Like you did with Kataoka’s feelings,” the redhead smirked.

The food suddenly became highly interesting, necessitating all of Isogai’s attention. Eating was the perfect way to gulp down his words.

_ “Just go,”  _ Karma’s voice echoed in his head.  _ “Just go”  _ was all he needed to hear. He still hadn’t thanked Karma out loud for it. He probably didn’t need to, the redhead’s genuine smile told him.

“She’s coming today, isn’t she?” Karma asked.

Isogai nodded. “She’ll arrive before the meeting starts.”

Karma hummed in response. Isogai peeked through his bangs to see his reaction when he mentioned the meeting- if he was mad, he didn’t let it show.

“How’s the fair going?” the student council president dared ask.

“What, do you want me to give you spoilers?” Karma teased in his usual tone.

Isogai loosed a sigh- he hated making people mad. The only reason he pushed Karma to join the fair committee in the first place was that the prankster could use more human interaction. Being called  _ a loner _ was something Karma hated, yet Isogai couldn’t help but notice the moments Karma looked outside the window instead of paying attention in class or leaning against a pole, presumably part of the group that was chatting right next to him but actually daydreaming.

“If you really want to know, though-” Karma eventually looked up from his bowl “-I’m in charge of the science department.”

“Oh.” Isogai looked back to his bowl before perking up again. “Wait, isn’t it Okuda’s university that’s in charge? Is she participating?”

“I made her an offer she couldn’t refuse,” Karma said with a sly smile. 

Isogai shook his head, unable to suppress a smile. That explained a lot. “It’s going to feel like a reunion,” he said. “Kurahashi is participating too and I think Maehara and Okano might drop by to see us.”

Karma raised his eyebrows. “Nakamura also said she’ll visit us. Apparently she’ll be back in Japan around that time.”

“That’s awesome! She hasn’t been able to come to the reunions in a while. Where is she now again?”

“Last time she spammed me with photos, she was at MIT,” Karma answered. Isogai had a feeling he didn’t need to know what the photos were of.

“Isn’t that also where Asano is studying?” he asked instead, tidying his plate conscientiously.

Karma wrinkled his nose. “It is. Turns out his girlfriend is really annoying, but Nakamura is taking care of her,” he said in a tone that sent shivers down Isogai’s spine. He pitied whoever stepped on Nakamura’s toes.

Karma’s phone lit up. “Speak of the devil,” he muttered at his phone and unlocked his phone with his fingerprint.

Isogai leaned over the table to see the photo Nakamura had sent. It was a picture of her and Asano in a restaurant with what seemed to be wine in front of them, with the caption “Guess whose girlfriend will hate me even more?” On closer inspection, Asano was quite red in the cheeks.

Isogai let out a sigh and sat back, letting Karma type his reply away.

“I’m curious what Nakamura did to get Asano out drinking. That guy’s stiff like a board,” Karma said appreciatively..

“Scary,” Isogai muttered and Karma chuckled.

They were about to get up when Karma pointed behind his friends and said, “Looks like your date has arrived.”

Isogai whipped his head around to see Kataoka walking towards them. Her familiar voice and the recognizable perfume enveloped him. The cafeteria slowly faded away as his gaze slowly focused on her and his face broke into a coy smile.

“Hey Kataoka,” Karma sing-songed, watching Isogai’s expression in amusement.

“Hello,” she greeted back, sitting next to her boyfriend.

Isogai squeezed her hand as a greeting and she threw him one of her rare coy smiles. Once Isogai had grown used to the sight of her teeth breaking through the barrier of her usually pursed lips, he realized it was good that she was so hard to crack a smile- it was so bright it blinded him and it painted everything else in a bleached colour.

“Well then-” Karma said as he stood up “-I’ll let you guys behave like a couple without me here.” He picked up his and Isogai’s tray on his way out.

“You seem in a good mood,” Kataoka called after him.

Karma shot her a glance over his shoulder. “Shucks, what gave me away?”

“The lack of menace in your statement.”

The redhead disposed of the trays and shrugged at her. “Karma!” Isogai shouted as the Law student walked out. He turned to face his friend halfway, so that only half of his face was exposed. “I’ll treat you to some strawberry milk later,” Isogai simpered.

Karma waved them off wordlessly and spun on his heels as he left the cafeteria. The invisible half of his face was raising a smile, though- Isogai read it in his eyes.   
  


***

Karma liked trains. He had never tried finding an explanation for it until Okuda asked him why, so he was now staring outside the window, trying to crack the mystery. 

Buildings went out of focus before he could remember more than their vague height and look, no detail staining his memory. He reasoned that he liked that- going past everything as such a high speed that everything seemed short-lived. It gave him a sense of comfort, knowing that others went by him the same way, paying him no mind. It made it easier to make decisions for them in the future without their judgemental eyes on him.

The first time he stepped on a train was when he was four and his parents took him to Tokyo. It was a great deal for the little version of him who had never seen either a high speed train nor a buzzling city. Everytime he found himself on a train since, he felt the excitement resurface- it was childish, but it was one of his fondest memories, because it connected him to his parents. He couldn’t help but think that they might be on a train, too, and the security enveloped him like a blanket.

This time though, it was different. He opened his phone again and typed the answer to the seen message:  _ I think it might be because of the destination. _

_ I’d like to ask what this destination is, but I have a feeling you won’t tell me, _ Okuda typed back

The train took a curve as Karma responded. Relaxing felt nice for a change, and he leaned back in his seat.  _ You’re getting better at telling what I think, Okuda-san. Four years didn’t take away from your talent. _

A few moments later, she replied,  _ I wish I could have improved it over these past four years instead of devolving. _

Karma started typing  _ Me too _ , but he erased it. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t what he wanted to tell her either. Crying over spilt milk didn’t change anything, as much as Karma wished to turn back time and change it.

_ You have all the time starting now. _

When she typed  _ I’m not going to forget that. It’s a promise!  _ back, Karma made a mental note of starting to note down the observations from the experiment, such as the occasional increase in his pulse.

***

Manami watched the screen darken and sighed- no more messages from Karma. He had probably reached his destination. It was perfect timing, because her break was also drawing to an end, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to hear more from him- even a message saying  _ Hi  _ was something she began looking forward to.

“Okuda-chan, we’re heading for the lab!” Ishikawa called.

“Sure, I’ll be there after I go see Mr. Yamazaki,” she waved her research group off and slid the phone back in her pocket, getting up to go to the teacher’s lounge.

Lately, her and Karma were talking on a daily basis, which almost made up for the fact that she hadn’t seen him in a week. A week that seemed longer than the four previous years of coping without the redhead. They talked of anything and everything, and the emptiness in her heart slowly filled up with each little comment he made. The way he noticed her efforts almost made her think she could do anything- and maybe she could, if he was willing to stay by her side.

It wasn’t like she didn’t make friends in the four year timeskip- she loved her research group to the moon and back. Ishikawa’s optimism and Tooru’s boldness made it very easy for her to blend into the team. But talking to Karma made her realise that no one could ever fill the blank left by him- a best friend was irreplaceable, Manami concluded.

She took the corner to the facility room and had to tighten her grasp on the materials in order not to scatter them all over the floor. The sight- or rather, person- she beheld made her stop dead in her tracks and question whether the wishful thinking had gotten the better of her.

“Karma-kun?” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> Chapter 4 is here! I honestly wanted to focus more on Karmanami this chapter but then Isogai just got in between me and the fluff and he wouldn't let me go until I wrote him down, so here. Joke aside, you can probably tell next chapter is Karmanami. I initially intended to make this one longer but I broke it into chap 4 and 5 so I wouldn't leave you hanging for too long.  
> I headcanon that Karma's first subject in his experiment was Isogai and he was the catalyst that made him date Kataoka. I have the whole scene in my head and it'll feature at a later date, with good reason!  
> As always, I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think/ where do you think this is going/ what you'd lke to see from now on down in the commetns! As always, your love keeps me writing!


	5. Calorimetry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter yet, to make up for the absence that will follow as contests start invading my life. As far as a description goes, all I can tell you is that what follows is pure Karmanami. My hand slipped-and I'm not sorry. No more spoilers, read ahead!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calorimetry is the study of heat flow. Calorimetry may be used to find the heat of reaction of two compounds or the heat of combustion of a compound, for example.

Tsubasa University was quiet. Karma wasn’t sure whether it was the deafening, constant noise of Tokyo that made this place seem tranquil or the fact that Manami was standing a mere feet away from him that put him at ease, but a warm, fuzzy feeling enveloped him. It was the kind of peace of mind he only achieved when he was surrounded by books in his cramped room or when the filtered rays of sun fell on dusty pages of thick Law books in the wee hours of the morning.

It was weird, Karma reasoned. His observations made him expect a sudden pickup in his heart rate or a tightness in his throat, but all he could feel was calm and clear-headed. Okuda’s messages managed to make his heart skip a beat- he expected her actual presence to have more of an impact on him.

The time for overanalyzing the situation ran short, though, as Okuda crossed the distance between them and her persistent gaze met his in the blink of an eye.

“Karma-kun, what are you doing here?” she asked, surprise painted over her face. She spoke quietly, as if fearing he was a fragile hologram of her imagination that would disappear if her voice as much as changed the repartition of molecules next to his skin.

“I am the delegate for your project, am I not?” he grinned whimsically, as to assure her he wasnțt going anywhere. “I must meet with your team today, according to the schedule.”

“That-” she stopped, searching for words to match her feelings. “You could have told me you were coming,” she pouted accusingly.

“Would that have changed anything?” His eyes darkened until his face became impassible, unreadable. It was a technique he found most useful- when he wanted to awaken fear, when he wanted to hide his thoughts, when he raised the walls around his heart to keep other’s from damaging the goods inside.

People’s lives only intersected with him for as long as they needed him- his presence wasn’t enough to alter the flow of their daily routine. Those overused phrases as “you could have said you were coming” or “what a pleasant surprise” were simply stereotypes. If he could, Karma would ban them, preferring the silence that’d replace them. At least silence held no lies.

“It would!” Okuda said categorically, putting a halt to the argument-flow in his head. “I could have gotten the afternoon free to show you around.”

“You didn’t-” he started protesting. The if-clauses were also pleasantries.

“Actually, I think I can change my schedule now!” she interrupted him, fumbling for her phone. 

Karma was left blinking in surprise. By the time he got around to comprehending the situation she was was already swiping through her contacts and when he reacted, her finger was hanging over the call button. The words came to him harder than usual, as if the processor in his brain needed to be oiled.

“No need to, really. I mean, chemistry is important to you, right?” he managed before she could press  _ Call _ .

Okuda looked up at him, puzzled. “You are also important to me, Karma-kun. I can work in the lab every Tuesday and Friday- I only see you once in a blue moon,” she said as if he didn’t get a basic maths lesson.

After the first jolt of surprise stopped sending shivers through his spine, Karma stuck his hands in his cardigan, utterly defeated, and made a mental note to add “rendering me wordless” to the Okuda-effect list he was composing.

“Don’t cancel your meeting, though,” he stopped her, fighting to bite back a smile. “I actually came here to talk to the whole team.” He saw her deflate at the same time as his desire to smile won. “Seeing you is a nice bonus, though,” he admitted and her eyes lit back up.

“But I need to talk to Professor Yamazaki first,” she told him, signaling for him to wait. “I’ll-”

“Oh, Okuda. I see you have already met our ‘deputy’,” a joyous voice echoed through the empty hall from behind them. Karma recognized it as the voice he had talked to over the phone and whipped his head around to greet the teacher.

“Mr. Yamazaki, I just wanted to talk to you-” Okuda started, but he interrupted her again.

“And you are Karma Akabane, right?” he asked the redhead, who bowed in return, only to hear the older teacher’s voice. “Raise your head, boy. I believe Law students are more comfortable with shaking hands, are they not?” He laughed again, a guttural sound that reverberated against the walls like the crackle of a log in a fireplace- warm, comforting, homey.

Karma shook his outstretched hand. It was rough from plastic hand gloves and blue with stains of ink, his handshake firm despite his age and grey hair. “You’ve got a firm handshake, boy. That’s one big step towards a successful career,” the man said in the same cheerful voice.

“Thank you, sir,” Karma said with a polite smile. Now that he was meeting his eyes, he noticed the enthusiasm in his laugh was also present there, melting the black eyes into coal that warmed those around, too. “In regards to the project-”

“Yes yes, the science fair. I trust Okuda will do a very good job as group leader,” he said, tilting his head towards his student. “You can talk it out with her, and she’ll tell me what there is to sign.”

“Would you also like to attend the meeting?” Karma offered.

“Thank you, but no. You young ones have so much energy…” he sighed, lowering his eyelids tiredly. “I’ll be here to help you with anything if you’re ever in a pinch, but I gather this project’s aim is also to help you improve teamwork, is it not?”

Karma nodded, still mesmerized by the teacher’s chordiality. It was impossible not to be swept up in his pace and peace of mind.

“Well then, Okuda, will you show this young fellow around?” the teacher concluded.

The bespectacled girl nodded before adding, “Professor, could you please look over these?” She handed him one of the files her arms were filled with. “It’s the polished version of the idea I first presented you with- you were right! A stronger Lewis acid catalyst would work better, so  I tried borane.”

The teacher took her file and met Okuda’s sparkling eyes. “I’ll have a look and we can discuss tomorrow after class. Does that sound good?”

“Yes, thank you very much,” she bowed deeply. Karma could tell she could barely contain her glee. The smile crept its way back onto his lips.

“Now now, kiddo, haven’t I told you to stop being so formal?” the man said, scratching the back of his neck. “Now you go show this young man around and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Okuda jolted back up and nodded. Karma watched the scene unfold amused, barely able to react as the man walked away.

“Pleasure to meet you, son,” the teacher said as he walked back towards his office.

“Likewise, sir,” Karma answered and, for the first time in a while, he actually meant it.

“And that’s Mr. Yamazaki,” Okuda said with a beam after the man disappeared behind the door of his office. “Shall we go?” she offered.

Karma nodded in response and followed her along the almost-empty corridors of the university. Classes must have been over, but all the laboratories were buzzing with researchers-to-be, taking advantage of the high tech to experiment on their own.

“You don't need to-” Manami protested when Karma scooped the files from her arms to carry them himself, but he brushed her politeness off. He marveled at how heavy they were, weighing as much as the knowledge they must have contained.All of them were underlined, post-its with handwritten notes in different colours hanging loose from the worn out copies.

“Your teacher seems… nice,” Karma commented for a lack of a better word.

“Yes,” Okuda laughed. Karma hadn’t realised he had missed that sound until he heard it brighten the dim-lit halls, as warm as the teacher’s laugh. “He’s like a father- has been since our first year. It was him that introduced me to the research group in the first place,” she said. Her eyes lit up as she locked them with his, burning with a sense of belonging Karma couldn’t help but envy.

“So I’m going to meet this legendary team?” he teased her. “Is there anything I need to know about them? Any survival tips?”

Okuda pointed a thoughtful finger to her chin. “Perhaps you should be aware that Ishikawa-kun is an optimist. It might be him that draws out all of Professor’s energy. Also, Misaki-chan is kind of shy, but she’s a nice girl. And there’s Tooru-chan, who’s in the same class as me, and Abe-san, who’s our senpai,” she went on. 

As Karma listened to her rant, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy and relief at the same time. Relief that she had fit in- jealousy that he’d never find such acceptance. The freezing solitude of an assassin pummeled through him, even colder against the warmth of this place. He suddenly felt out of place and tightened the cardigan around himself.

“But I’m blabbering!” Okuda spoke again. “I’m sorry Karma-kun, I just can’t wait for you to meet everyone.”

Karma quirked an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

“Well we’ll be working together, so I hope you can all become friends!” she said innocently.  _ Friends  _ was a strong word, Karma pondered, but said nothing.

“You’re wearing your cardigan again, Karma-kun,” she changed the subject, pointing at his black sleeves.

“You said you liked it more,” he shrugged.

“Oh,” she exclaimed, rosse trailing on her cheeks. “It suits you better,” she eventually said.

“Well, Okuda-san, since I listened to your request, may I also make one?” Karma smirked.

“It depends on what it is. I can’t work with cyanide unless I fill a file asking for permission,” she reminded him.

Karma smiled. “It’s something much simpler.” Okuda’s raised eyebrows pushed for details. “Your hair- when you meet me, can you wear it in two braids?”

She tugged at her one-side braid. “You don’t like it?”

“I do.” Everything suited her, Karma was sure of it. “But twin braids suit you better.”  _ Besides, that’s a sight only I know _ .

“Okay, that’s easy. On one condition, though.” Karma’s face rounded in a question mark as she pointed a finger at him. “You have to tell me when you come next.”

His face broke into a coy smile as soon as hers did, making Karma ponder whether it was some sort of contagious disease. “Of course, Okuda-san.” 

He hoped to God his next visit would be soon.

* * *

“Tooruuuu,” Ishikawa complained as she pushed his face away from the microscope.

“Absolutely  _ not _ ,” she stressed.

“Yoshikawa-chan is right, you can’t just put ketchup under the scope for the fun of it,” Abe stated without raising his eyes from his eprubete.

“It is  _ not _ for the fun of it,” he claimed, seemingly deeply hurt. “It is for the noble cause of discovering whether the fast foods restaurants lie to us about its composition.” The woman hogging the microscope rolled her eyes and ignored his pout, returning her attention to the exhibit.

“Let me guess, that’s Ishikawa,” Karma whispered into Manami’s ear. She let out a giggle as she nodded, attracting everybody’s attention.

“Our covers have been blown,” Karma muttered again under his breath, making Manami giggle even louder. She missed his snarky comebacks, missed hearing his low, fruity voice that messages couldn’t capture.

“And who may that be?” Ishikawa asked, just as puzzled as the rest.

“Good evening,” Karma started, adopting his most formal tone. “I am Karma Akabane, your delegated deputy from Tokyo University, and I am here today to discuss a few details about your presentation at the science fair.”

The quickness with which he changed his attitude from the prankster Manami was used to know to the business man he was preparing to be came as a direct shot to Manami. Karma was being wary- he was putting up the politician front, the one he didn’t want people to break through. Her heart throbbed painfully- why was he opposing her team’s friendship? And after she expressed her wish for them to befriend each other, no less.

“Oh, so you’re the Akabane Okuda-chan mentioned,” Abe said, finally tearing his eyes from the eprubete and lowering his mask.

“My, Okuda-san, you talk about me?” Karma turned to face her with a teasing smirk, but Manami didn’t fall for it. She was hurt- betrayed, even.

“What I wouldn’t give for Tooru to talk about me, too~” Ishikawa wistfully exclaimed, eyeing his lab partner with  _ the look _ . It was part of their daily banter and Manami would have normally found it endearing, if her focus wouldn’t have been on someone else then.

“Cut it out! You always go around saying that.” Tooru flicked his forehead.

“But Tooru~”

“No fighting in the lab!” Abe yelled, rushing to tear the two apart before they broke anything.

“Guys, don’t fight!” Misaki’s voice was barely more than a whisper as she looked up from her notebook, but Okuda was used to making out her whispers now.

Manami felt her heart crack when Karma muttered “Feels nostalgic, doesn’t it?” The betrayal was replaced in the blink of an eye with the sudden urge to hug him, to assure him that she was still there, that everyone in class 3E loved him, that her friends were sure to come to like him, that he wasn’t alone. 

The crack widened with the thought of what his highschool days must have been like, in the Kunugigaoka where all he had were rivals. She tried pushing the nauseous thought in the depths of her mind and succeeded in failing, as she further imagined his life now. His empty house. The absence of his parents.

The desire to comfort him overflew when she caught a hint of the melted gold of his eyes. The pupils that used to sparkle with new ideas were now hardening under the pressure. It was all too much for Manami, and she caught his hand without thinking twice. How could she have thought he wasn’t lonely? That it was only within her that emptiness resided?

Karma’s attention slowly shifted to her and to their linked hands. He said nothing, but he offered her a sad smile that spoke more than words and squeezed her hand back. Manami didn’t feel like she did nearly enough when Karma slowly uncurled his fingers, letting go of her hand. She was also too busy worrying over him to see Misaki stare at them.

“Guys, we have a guest here today,” Abe said as a definitive argument to make Tooru and Ishikawa stop their banter. “I’m sorry,” he returned to Karma when everything calmed down with an apologetic smile. Under the pressure of Abe’s stern look, Ishikawa and Tooru bowed their heads.

“That’s quite alright,” Karma dismissed their concern with a swift handwave.

He started the meeting as if nothing had happened, but his eyes and sad smile wouldn’t fade out of Manami’s mind so easily. She listened to his presentation, but rarely actively participate. There were just formalities, too- papers to sign assuring the security of the children involved, substances they’d use, their personal data. The real preparations started the following week.

All the while, Manami just wondered where Karma hid his loneliness when he raised a business smile, pressed his shirt neatly into his pants and wore a perfectly knotted tie instead of his cardigan.

* * *

Karma thanked the heavens that the research team was lively. It took his mind of Okuda’s gesture and kept him from staring at her intently. He took deep breaths every time he remembered her warm hands and pushed the thought in the depths of his mind, together with other impossible to conceal memories.

He did his job politically, systematically, flawlessly. If his mind woouldnțt have been preoccupied enough avoiding Okuda and managing the meeting, he would have been proud of himself- the unreadable look was now close to perfection.

When it was over, he dared peek at the woman who was staring at her interlaced fingers, apparently avoiding his gaze as well.

Karma pulled the papers together and placed them in a neat stake. His mind started rolling, trying to find something smart to say before irremediably closing the door. He swore to himself he wouldn’t lose contact with her again. He was putting the pile back in his backpack when-

“What do you think you’re doing?” a woman- Yoshioka, he recognised the ponytail from the corner of his eyes- spoke.

Karma gave her a puzzled look. “Packing my things,” he stated the obvious.

“No you aren’t,” Ishikawa slyly purred, approaching him just as a cat followed its prey.

“Ishikawa-kun, what-?” Okuda spoke up, but was interrupted by Tooru.

“Listen Manami-chan, we can’t let this guy leave like that. He’s your friend, right? We  _ have  _ to get to know him!”

Karma’s glance shifted between Ishikawa, who was pulling at his arm, and Yoshikawa, who was lecturing Okuda. Their words snailed in his mind, leaving behind a trail of questions. Was he an exhibit of interest in any way for these researchers? Did they have an ulterior motive? Did he have anything they wanted?

“Tooru-chan!” Okuda started protested, but the ponytail possessor wasn’t easily swayed.

“I’m curious, okay? We _ all  _ are!” She looked for support at Abe and Misaki. To Karma’s surprise, they both nodded.

Karma had the decency not to snort. Her honest and innocent answer wiped the questions away and left him mildly amused. It was no surprise that Manami had fitted right in with them. “Should I not have a say in this?” he questioned, suppressing a raw laughter.

“Now now, if we let the subject talk, we wouldn’t get anywhere,” the guy pulling his arm towards the exit beamed widely. Karma found it hard to hate him.

In two swift moves, Karma had freed his hand from Ishikawa’s grasp and left him speechless at the door. He found shelter next to Okuda, but still maintained a defensive posture- one that mirrored Karasuma’s perfectly. All eyes were fixed on him. He hid his smiling pupils behind his bangs.

“I-I’m sorry Karma-kun, I-” Okuda started, but he shushed her with a handwave.

He dropped one hand to his side slowly and let the other point at Okuda, simultaneously looking up at everyone. A grin bloomed on his face as he watched the perplexed expressions. “If I’m going-” he said, blessing the team with an Akabane-trade smirk “-I’m going merely because I’m curious what Okuda-san said about me.”

They needed a minute until Tooru’s cheer and Ishikawa’s whistle broke the silence, both of them raising their eyebrows suggestively at the bespectacled girl. Okuda shushed them both with a blush and elbowed Karma softly. Her eyes wanted to accuse him, but her lips played into a smile.

Soon enough, Karma found himself in the middle of a group he barely knew, but who wanted to know everything about him. Listening to their back and forth banter made him contemplate that working with them for the next month wasn’t so bad after all.

In the middle of explaining why he poured so much cinnamon in his caramel cappuccino, listening to the energetical guy ramble on about anything and everything,hearing the senpai’s exasperated sighs and the shy girl’s embarrassed stuttering, he found himself genuinely smiling.

The warmth of Okuda’s hand came back to haunt him when their legs bumped under the table and she hid her flushed face.

***

“Karma-kun, I’m really sorry they dragged you into this,” Okuda apologised for the umpeenth time.

“I had fun,” he said, pondering when was the last time he actually meant it. “And I’m the one who’s sorry. You shouldn’t walk me to the station so late at night- I should be walking you to the dorms.”

“That’s okay,” Okuda smiled. “That means more time with you, Karma-kun.”

There it was again- her impactfully simple and groundbreakingly honest remarks that always hit home.

“Your group- I like it,” he suddenly said, inching closer to her as they stopped at the red light. His hand was hanging loose next to hers, though his hand was higher. Without glancing at her, he could feel her fingers raising to his level. They hands bumped and they exchanged a quick glance before Karma curled his index around Okuda’s, and then her hand found a comfortable place in his. 

Karma hadn’t realised how much bigger his hand was until then, and how her slender fingers seemed to be made to fit in between his. The calm enveloped him again when she squeezed his hand, the same way she did back in the laboratory.

It wasn’t just her hand that was custom-made to fit into his. Karma realised  _ she _ was filling the holes in him, that her warmth was there to melt his walls down. It was her that had taught him to sheathe his assassin sword. Okuda probably didn’t know that- and she was probably doing it for herself, too.

They walked like that, side by side, talking about each member of the team. Karma told Manami he liked Ishikawa’s sense of humor and his well-natured soul, and Okuda giggled and said she was glad. Yoshikawa, he thought, was a tsundere, except around the girls.

“I think she likes Ishikawa-kun too,” Okuda argued.

“I ship them,” Karma confessed and Okuda’s chuckle filled the frozen air with the sound of bells.

“Everybody does. There are bets about when they’ll get together,” she announced him, as if inviting Karma to place his own bet.

“What did you bet on?” His eyes sparked as he talked and Manami smiled at his grin.

“Until spring.”

“Want me to help you win that?” he smirked.

She playfully jabbed his side. “No, Karma-kun! It has to be a fair and square battle.”

And then he told her Abe was like the adoptive father or the big brother of the group and that Misaki was like the team’s child and she smiled, saying that she had potential to become the greatest scientist ever.

“No way Okuda-san, my bets are on you becoming the best. Do you want me to go bankrupt?”

“You won’t.” Her glasses glinted, reflecting the light from the streetlamp. Her cheeks were rose from both the outside cold and the inside warmth and for the first time, Karma understood just how dangerous she was. In her innocence, she was tempting and her smile lit a thousand wishes in Karma’s heart.

“Then what am I?” Okuda asked and Karma looked at her puzzled.

“You?”

“What am I in the group, if Abe-senpai is our father figure and Misaki is the childish one?” 

It was only then that her importance dawned on Karma. “You are Okuda Manami. You can’t be resumed to a role, you… You are everything,” he said. He felt her shiver, but he couldn’t say whether it was from the cold or his words had sinking in.

She mumbled something he couldn’t make out and stepped closer to him, breathing in the cold air of the evening.

***

“You’re like a drug, Karma-kun,” she told him on the platform, still holding his hand. “I have the feeling that the more I see you, the more I’ll need you.”

“Hmm, then am I a necessity or a an unhealthy addiction?” He joked, twisting his fingers tighter around hers, in a pattern he hoped was impossible to untie.

“I still don’t know,” she said. “I guess I’ll need to see you more to find out.”

“You can call whenever you want,” Karma assured her. The damned timetable announced three minutes until his train. Despite his will, he started slowly getting their fingers unlaced. “And don’t forget your promise!”

“The braids-” she nodded “-I will!”

The rails vibrated under the weight of the train, but their fingertips still touched and he lingered around her for as long as he could, taking her in: her face, her body, her voice, her smell, her presence, the way she wore her pants, stuffing them in her boots, the way her hair stuck out of her braid near her neck and the way her nails were long without cutting into his skin.

When he was about to let go and the timing on the table changed to a minute, she gave him one last quick squeeze and pushed him towards the open doors of the train.

He got on reluctantly. She waved back at him from the platform, the hand he had been holding now brought to her chest as she hugged herself. He felt like getting off the train and hugging her, but willed his body to stay in his seat, his hand gripping the armrest. 

It then hit him that trains didn’t only connect people, but they also pulled them apart.

The platform starting moving, at first slow, then gradually faster as the train picked up in speed, until it disappeared completely. Manami’s frame blurred into the crowd and for the first time, Karma found it unnerving that he passed by people without their faces staining his memory. The sudden realisation that each passerby had a life as vivid and complex as himself was something he had only read about, the vague and unexplainable feeling of _ sonder. _

The calm Okuda’s presence brought was gradually replaced by the unsettling feeling of being out of place. For the time being, Karma concluded that it wasn’t her presence and unbearable honesty, but her absence that was unhealthy. Her warmth still lingered in the palm of his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readers!  
> I hope you liked this chapter. As far as the holding hands goes... I don't necessarly see it as a romatic gesture. As I've said, Karma and Manami complete each other. As of now, I think it's more a gesture of comfort than a display of romantic affection. Next chapter will also focus on them and where they stand, so that'll be explored in more detail.  
> Besides that, I hope you liked Manami's team! They are archetypes at first glance, but I actually have their backstories in mind and the way they act is explainable (hope it comes out that way). If you like them, I do intend on exploring them in further chapters, so I hope you stick with me! Manami's teacher is inspired after my real-life physics teacher (damn I love the man).  
> Anyway, I've blabbered more than usual! I'm sorry, I'm just really excited! Next chapter will look also into Karma's university life, so look forward to that!  
> Kudos and comments are feeding me with love as always!


	6. Boyle's Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two phone conversations that cause more damage than the speakers predicted, but they also mend the assassins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boyle’s law states that pressure of a set quantity of ideal gas in a can that doesn’t change its volume and doesn’t leak either will increase with the heating of the gas.  
> This isn't really cheating, since the study of the ideal gas is a part of chemistry. Even so, the last two chapter names are more physics-oriented, so forgive me.

“What is he to you?” Tooru asked as she spread a second layer of Nutella on the hot toast.

“A special friend,” she answered without second thoughts and bit into her butterbread, letting the salty cream wash over her taste buds.

“What kind of special friend? A best friend? A lover?” Tooru insisted, adding a third layer of chocolate for good measure and eyeing Manami with her unfaltering gaze.

The scientist munched on her bread thoughtfully. She knew Karma was her best friend back in middle school, that much was obvious. But right now, calling him her best friend seemed an understatement. He wasn’t her lover, either. She stared at her hand intently, remembering the shape and feel of Karma’s fingers. That alone was enough to bring a blush on her face, but she knew it wasn’t a romantic gesture. 

“I need him,” she spoke evenly, choosing her words carefully, curling her fingers into her palm one by one. “And I… I think he may-”

“Need you too?” Tooru asked with her mouth full, watching her friend nod. “Symbiosis?” she suggested after gulping half of her breakfast in a single bite.

“Not quite. More like... completing each other.” Manami hadn’t realised describing their relationship was that much of a challenge. She hadn’t realised Tooru could be so serious about listening to her, either. Most of the time, her teammate either joked around the subject of relationships or love, or she outright ignored it. Intuition told Manami tat her friend was avoiding the topic with all her might.

“Okay. It’s good that you know where you stand,” Tooru said after she swallowed, surprising Manami with the steadiness of her voice. “Does he know that, too?”

“I guess?” Manami asked more than stated. “We never discussed it, but I have a feeling he knows. However-” her eyes fixed on her cup of tea and she sighed.

“However?” her friend repeated, sipping her morning coffee to help the chocolate go down. It was still a scientific mystery how her tongue could stand the sugarless coffee after the three layers of Nutella.

“Karma-kun is a very-” she stopped, tracing circles on the wooden table as she searched for the right word “- _ guarded  _ person. He doesn’t let people in and that’s-”

“Lonely,” Tooru completed with a look that wasn’t focused on anything in particular.

Manami nodded, staring into her cup of tea. “Yes, lonely. I thought he let me in, but there’s still something he’s protecting. Like some walls encircling his true feelings.”

After a few moments of silence, Manami looked up only to notice that Tooru was in a trance, her eyes glassy as they reflected the world without taking anything in. Noticing the bespectacled girl’s stare, she snapped out of it and resumed her neutral voice.

“So what will you do?”

“Synthesize the substance that can melt them down,” Manami smiled broadly, finally taking a sip of her tea.

Tooru smiled back, remnants of chocolate curling around her lips. “That’s the Manami-chan I know.”

***

“Karma-senpai, you read chem articles?” Tanaka’s attempt at whispering in the library was short-lived.

Karma caught a glimpse of the excited underclassman through his bangs and held back a simper. The boy was perched on his chair, his eyes wandering over the lines of Karma’s study instead of the cases scattered in front of him.

Karma was mildly amused by the underclassman that followed him around, venerating him like the redhead was some kind of VIP or life model. Karma would have found it obnoxious if Tanaka was a poorly written copy of Takaoka, but the was anything slightly related to Karma made him overly excited intrigued the prankster. Whether it was curiosity or entertainment that made Karma keep him around, he still hadn’t decided.

“I do,” he answered.

“Why?” Tanaka’s eyes sparked up like they did when he was taking notes in class. It reminded him of Okuda’s excitement for science, though it wasn’t as endearing.

“Because I like chemistry,” Karma shrugged, reading further into his article on Lewis Acids.

“But you’re studying Law?” Tanaka asked yet again and Karma decided to humor him, since he was in a good mood.

“I am, so that I can impose a law of shutting up while others are focusing.”

Karma saw the boy’s flashed ears and smirked. As Tanaka opened his mouth, presumably to apologise, Karma noticed his phone blink with a call.  _ Poison Glasses. _

His smirk widened.

“Okuda-san?” he answered, his voice a mere hush. “Hang on a moment, I’m in the library.” He got up and circled five more statements on Tanaka’s page. “I’ll be back in less than an hour and I want to see a thorough analysis on this five cases.” He left with a grin, feeling Tanaka’s puzzled look on his back.

“This is rare, Okuda-san,” he said as he closed the massive ulm door behind him, sticking the hand not holding the phone in a pocket of his cardigan. He strolled through the empty hallways, considering his destination. The inner garden would have to do.

“You said I could call whenever I wanted,” Okuda excused herself. Her voice was distorted by the phone, holding nowhere near the same emotional impact as her real voice. “I told you you’re like a drug, Karma-kun.” A pause allowed Karma to hide his grin with a hand. “Why were you in the library?”

“Hmm, can you guess?” he hummed his question. He liked the sound of his steps echoing on the empty concrete.

“Karma-kun, you’re being as secretive as ever,” Manami sighed on the end of the line. “But I’ll humor you. In return, will you also answer a question of mine?”

“Depends on the question, Okuda-san,” he mysteriously chanted.

There was a heavy exhalation on the scientist’s end. “How many guesses to I have?” she eventually asked.

Karma leaned against a wall. “Let’s make this interesting,” he said in a voice that allowed Okuda to hear his smirk. “Three.”

“Am I allowed to ask questions?”

“Yes, and I am allowed to refuse to answer.”

“Alright then.” Karma closed his eyes to focus on her presence. It was impossible to keep the image of her from his mind, and the warmth she draped him in brought back the icy shiver. Or perhaps it was just the wind howling through the windows. The inner garden didn’t seem a good choice anymore.

“You were in the library with someone,” she stated. Karma hummed in agreement. “Was it a friend?”

“ _ Friend _ is a strong word, Okuda-san.” An often misused and abused of one, at that. “When do  _ you _ call someone a friend?” he asked, opening his eyelids halfway and squinting at the light reflected by the glassy walls of a classroom.

“Well, after I’ve know that person fairly well… and if I like sharing my time and talking with them, I guess?”

“That’s a generous description,” he commented, closing his eyes again. Always so straightforward and open. Karma took more damage than her innocence intended to cause. “Let’s assume he is a friend,” he compromised, taking advantage of the empty building. Tanaka wouldn’t have shut up had he heard that.

“Aha, Karma-kun just gave me another clue!” Manami’s voice was both victorious and amused. 

“What did I say?” he answered, batting away the image of her gleaming face. He knew the fuzziness would only last as long as the phone call.

“That it’s a guy,” Okuda declared. Karma sighed in defeat and she let out a chuckle, rendering it impossible for Karma to keep her out of his head. The more involved he was, the more he talked to her, the greater was the pit his stomach fell in afterwards, and the slower the time went by. And yet her happiness was contagious and she sucked him in her world effortlessly.

“You caught me,” he said and indulged himself a genuine smile.

“But Karma-kun,” the woman replied after a pause, “what would you call him if not a friend?”

“This is when I abuse of my power and refuse to answer the question,” Karma purred, to Okuda’s annoyance. He heard her humph and pictured the pout adorning her mouth, fighting against the sudden imbold to get on a train and see her again.

“You leave me no choice but to bombard you with questions,” Okuda said with what she wanted to be a scary voice but only managed to be a cute threat. She cleared her throat in what Karma supposed to be embarrassment once she heard his chuckle. “Is he your colleague?”

“No,” Karma whistled, pacing the halls. He gave up on trying to find a destination. Wasn’t the journey more important?

“Does he study Law, at the very least?” she continued.

“No,” Karma hummed again, taking a corner. The classes were empty on the weekend, but the university was still buzzing with students taking advantage of the libraries and laboratories.

“But you talked to him about some cases so he must be-” Okuda murmured more to herself than for Karma. “Ah!” she suddenly let out. “He is an underclassman, isn’t he?”

“Bingo,” the redhead snapped his fingers. He could faintly hear the scientist clap her hands on the other end of the call.

“So were you working on a project?”

“Nope,” Karma teased in his whimsical voice. “My Okuda-san, be careful, that’s already one missed guess,” he taunted.

“Then-” there was silence as she ran the possibilities through her head “-how did you meet?”

Karma blinked and stopped, leaning against the closed door of an amphitheatre. “That’s a sudden question. How does that relate to the library?”

“The context might give me a clue. Besides, this is a game I’m playing to learn more about Karma-kun.” 

She was dangerous alright, and had Karma not known better, he would have deemed her lethal. It was strange, he reasoned- people like her, so unguarded that they didn’t even see barriers, were those he usually feared the most. And yet…

“That’s too vague. You’ll need to ask more questions,” he conceded.

“You’re making this difficult on purpose,” she argued, but didn’t back out. Okuda never gave up. Instead of spider-walking down his spine, the thought proved to be a security-blanket to Karma.

“I’m making it fun,” he shot back. If anything, it was easy- he wouldn’t have let anyone start it at all.

“Is your underclassman just as excited as you to prank people?”

“That hurts, Okuda-san,” Karma claimed. The silence made him continue, “But no, he doesn’t prank. He’s a pure guy.”

“He’s in Social Studies… and wants to enter Law,” Okuda deduced and Karma hummed in agreement. “So he’s a first year. Do you have a common teacher?”

“Yes, Professor Aizawa. The one who makes us wear suits,” he clarified.

“Unique,” Okuda commented and Karma snorted. “If meeting through a prank is out, did your professor introduce you?”

“You could say that,” Karma pondered.

“That’s awfully imprecise. Cooperate with me, won’t you?” the bespectacled girl accused him.

Karma smiled, but he didn’t let his voice reflect that. “You’re close, so I might as well tell you.” Okuda cheered and Karma’s smile grew. He made a mental note of scratching the  _ unhealthy presence _ and replacing it with  _ healing properties. _ “I was talking with Professor Aizawa when he entered the teacher’s office.”

“And let me guess: he already knew you.” Karma heard the smirk in her voice, which managed to be smug and adorable at the same time. It was a cheap imitation of the Akabane-trademark smirk, but that it made all the more valuable, Karma supposed.

“You’re getting better at this. Wanna guess why?”

“Because you are very well-known?” Okuda tried, sounding somewhat proud.

“Precisely.” Karma really tried not to be flattered. He failed lamentably.

“So he bugged you to teach him the parts he didn’t get?”

“No, the boy is the best in his year. He’s just clingy- thinks I’m some kind of deity and doesn’t let me breathe,” Karma crooned.

Okuda laughed like chimes even through the phone. “So you’re being a good senpai. And you were in the library on a weekend to spend time with him. How commentable, Karma-kun,” she cooed. “Now that I’ve found out-”

“I am a man of my word, Okuda-san. You won your right to ask away.” She had won before the game even started. That, Karma decided was better kept a secret. “So, what was it?”

There was a long silence on the other end of the call before she whispered, “Why do you like strawberries?”

The hall echoed with Karma’s laugh. He was thankful that he was nowhere near the library right then. 

He could tell Okuda didn’t mean to ask that. He could also tell that he wasn’t ready to hear her actual question yet. But Karma wasn’t in a rush- he was content with talking about his culinary preferences or listening to macromolecular biology concepts for hours on end.

It was still too early for him to see the cracks in the defense mechanism.

***

“Cut!” the director yelled. “Good work, Haruna-san. You may take 10.”

Haruna Mase gathered all of her energy to raise a smile and nod before making it to her cabin, but Akari didn’t register anything from what was going on around her. The closer she got, the faster her steps were. She took a corner and almost bumped into the makeup artist until she finally reached her cabin. 

Akari closed the door behind her with a loud bang. She leaned against the door and grabbed the glasses off her face, throwing them against the wall of her dressing-room. The fact that they didn’t even break fueled her annoyance.

She couldn’t take it anymore.

Her hands were shaking so violently it took a minute simply to fumble for her phone and Type Manami’s name in the engine. She pressed call only to hear the generic message when the other end was busy with a call. Just her luck, she cursed under her breath.

Akari was about to throw her phone where the glasses were. She couldn’t give a damn about breaking it- she would buy a new one with the money she made from this stupid commercial. Although finding time to go phone-shopping was just as annoying and she’d rather stay in and sleep, she reasoned before launching it against the wall.

Defeated, Akari’s shoulders slumped and she clenched the wig on her head helplessly. She loved acting, but not like this. Not being a mascot. Not doing commercials and posing for magazines. She wanted to act in movies with a decent plot, not to be typecast as the “moe character”. She was an assassin for crying out loud.

Akari lowered her hand and clutched her phone, feeling her tears prick at her eyes. She rubbed them fiercely, trying -and failing- to pick herself up. She had to be back on the set in- she glanced at the screen- 8 minutes. 8 minutes wasn’t enough time for self-pity. The actress slapped her cheeks, checking the mirror for puffy eyes.

And then, with the timing only fate could manage, her phone blinked. And as the same merciless fate would have it, it was what caused Akari to lose any semblance of self-control.

In a moment’s imbold, with a mix of what was anger, sheer annoyance and the state of not giving a damn, Akari scooped up the phone and called her messenger.

The line went through two times before he picked up. As soon as his unsure voice questioned, “Kayano?” she was out of commission.

“Uhm-hi,” was all she could come up with. “I’m sorry, can you talk?”

“Sure,” Nagisa answered, his voice followed by the noise of shuffling. He must have been at home. Of course he was, Akari gritted her teeth. It was 8 p.m. on a Saturday evening. Any normal college student would be at home, resting or cramming.

“Is everything alright?” Nagisa asked, and Kayano clenched her fingers into a fist until her nails dug deep into her skin. He could read feelings even through the phone, couldn’t he?

“The truth is-” she almost wanted to snort. The truth? Has she even said the truth in the past few years? Akari breathed in deep. “The truth is, I’m not.” She didn’t even try to hide her brittle voice or the way it cracked near the end.

“Kayano-chan?” Nagisa’s panicked voice didn’t startle her. She basked in the pleasure of having blurted out the truth. Accepting her misery felt refreshing.

“I’m not okay,” she repeated, and the relief was heavenly. Her facial muscles relaxed into a smile as she continued, “I can’t keep this up. I haven’t stayed home for more than the five hours a night I manage to sleep, I haven’t had a warm meal in what feels like forever and I- I can’t even remember the last time I took a bath instead of a shower.” She was surprised to look in the mirror and see tears well up in her eyes. “I haven’t seen my family since March.” She almost didn’t recognise her own hoarse voice.

“Where are you right now?” Nagisa asked. Akari heard a creak and the sound of a door opening on the other end of the call.

“Tokyo. The shooting set,” she wheezed out.

“When are you off work?” he asked again and Akari heard the sound of a key in the lock.

“Two hours,” she said, still wobbly despite her attempts to control her voice. She should have stopped him from coming, but she didn’t want to. She wanted- needed him there.

“Okay,” was all he said, but didn't hang up. She put the phone down and on speaker and proceeded to blow her nose and wipe the tears that hadn’t fallen down- and a good thing too, or her makeup would have been ruined. The remaining three minutes weren’t enough to fix that. As crappy as the commercial was, they had amazing beauticians- Akari was torn between feeling impressed and disgusted.

Nagisa waited with her for the break to finish, keeping her quiet company. Two minutes later, Akari talked again, adjusting her voice in preparation for the set.

“Thanks, Nagisa. I’m imposing on you and I shouldn’t-”

“Stop spouting nonsense,” he cut her off with an understanding voice. Akari heard the buzz of the train station and Nagisa raised his voice to talk over it, “I’m glad you called. You’ve been bottling it up for too long. You shouldn’t keep this in, you know?” A pause- Akari didn’t dare answer. “I’ll be there in two hours.”

Akari nodded, although Nagisa could see her. “I have to go now,” she said.

“Okay. Just- hang in there.”

“Mhm,” she hummed back.

She closed her phone and picked up the glasses, fixing them on the bridge of her nose. Another light slap and a last look in the mirror- she was Mase Haruna and she could do it.

She shut the door to the cabin behind her just as the producer was about to call for her.

***

Kayano’s apartment was just as quiet as she was, sunk in darkness except for the lamp in the living-room. The actress had climbed on the sofa and hugged her knees, waiting silently as her friend fixed her a cup of coffee-he tried convincing her to go for tea, but she claimed she needed to be awake for at least the next hour to talk to him. Besides, Kayano added, she was so tired she often passed out as soon as she drank her coffee.

From the dusty TV and empty cups of instant ramen on the kitchen table, Nagisa could tell Kayano hadn’t lied to him. The apartment barely seemed inhabited, save for the outrageous provisions of instant ramen and the pudding in her fridge.

Kayano hadn’t muttered a word on the ride home. Nagisa hadn’t pushed for smalltalk either. Kayano didn’t need a talker tonight- she needed a listener.

He took two cups out of her cupboard and filled them with the steaming beverage, figuring he might as well drink some if he was going to spend the night taking care of her.

When he returned to the living room she was still curled up in herself. The last time Nagisa had seen her this fragile was when Korosensei saved her from the tentacles. The smallest outside factor seemed to be enough to destroy the front she kept up, and she lacked the drive to pick up the pieces herself.

“Here,” Nagisa said, placing the cup in front of her. He was ready to sweep and clean and glue back.

She didn’t say a word as she reached for her cup, took a sip and put it back down mechanically.

“I’m sorry,” she eventually said, without making eye contact with Nagisa.

“I told you, stop apologising alre-”

“But I shouldn’t put this burden on you. It’s my fault that I haven’t refused any of the offers and I-”

The storm began with the rhythmical pitter-patter of rain. The rain grew torrential, accompanied by thunder and lightning. Nagisa doubted there was any umbrella to keep them from getting drenched, but he sat there anywhere, letting the water wash over them.

“It’s been like this since spring. Producers saw my sudden rise in popularity and asked for me.” She said all the words at once, as if they found a leak and making their way through it expanded it. “And of course my manager was delighted because hey, the more roles I score the more money he gets, right?! And he stocked my schedule like crazy,” she wheezed, punching the sofa without power.

Nagisa let her rant about the crappy production values and valuing name over plot, about her becoming a mascot, about the way she felt her acting abilities sunk. Her worries left her in bursts, pouring in the river of her sadness.

“And this week was the last drop,” she said, shaking her head. Her eyes were red and puffy, her hair was ravished and her eyeliner surely wasn’t waterproof, but she was her true self, and that was the best version of her.

“I postponed some things in order to make it to the class reunion and guess what? My manager decided to cast me in production with the only guy I can’t work with. I told him that was the only thing I won’t do as an actress- I won’t work with someone who only sees curves and makeup instead of talent but does he listen?” She didn’t have enough energy left to answer her own question.

Nagisa moved in closer and wrapped a hand around her waist, bringing her in a warm hug. She jolted, but didn’t oppose him, instead curling her fingers in a fist around his shirt.

“I can’t,” she choked on her tears. “I can’t make it. I’m not perfect. I have my limits. They think I’m some kind of superhuman who can just act whatever character they think up, but they forget I need time to enter a role.” Her grip tightened around Nagisa and she clung to him like a lifevest as they both jumped in the river.

“I love my job, but this isn’t what I signed up for. I’d rather be unknown my whole life than act only in commercials. Rather than act with people who see my face and name.” Kayano pushed her head against his chest, trying to break through an invisible barrier. He hugged her tighter to him, trying to crush whatever she was fighting against.

“I don’t have time for movies, and they don’t want an attention whore either,” she sobbed, shifting her weight as she tried to pull back. Nagisa’s grip tightened around her, preventing her from getting up. Letting her go would mean letting her run away again.

“I can’t pretend I know what you’re going through,” he said calmly, patting her head. “But I’ve seen you act, Kayano. I’ve seen you put your all into your roles and you have talent. When you’re in a movie, you aren’t even Kayano or Haruna or Akari anymore, you are a whole different person, you make that character yours. No matter what role you’re casted in, no one can take that talent and passion away from you.”

He felt her smile against his chest. It was weak and a sob shivered through her shortly thereafter, but it was a beginning.

“What you’re going through now may seem meaningless, but I’m sure you’ll look back on it in the future and realise you’ve learnt something. If only to say  _ no _ , and it’s still progress.” He caressed her hair with a hand. Black suited her the best.

She didn’t have the strength to look up at him, but she did grunt, “I really should have learnt that lesson long ago.”

Nagisa shook his head. “Always trying your best to make everyone happy is what makes you who you are,” he told her. His words sent a new series of sobs through her and she rubbed her eyes in his shirt before looking up. Her weavering smile was enough of an answer for Nagisa.

“For how much longer does he have this projects planned?”

Kayano snorted. “God knows. He said November, but I doubt it.”

“Then we’re going to call him and tell him he needs to stop. He needs to stop starting tomorrow,” Nagisa declared, tilting Kayano’s chin up so she met his unyielding gaze.

“We?” she questioned. Despite being hoarse, her voice had something of her spark.

“Well you don’t think I’ll let you do it alone, now do you?” Nagisa smiled. “You’re not alone, Kayano.”

“Akari,” she muttered. Nagisa squinted at her in confusion. “Call me Akari,” she said again, louder. Nagisa felt himself blush and started stuttering but she stopped him. “I’m done with acting. I know I’m still Kayano to class 3E but at least to you, let me be my real self. You saw me look like this, after all,” she pointed to herself with what wanted itself to be a nervous laugh but was a heart-wrenching sob.

“What do you mean  _ like this _ ?” Nagisa scoffed at her lack of self-confidence and planted a kiss on the crown of her hair. Her locks were rich and smelled like vanilla. “Trust yourself some more, will you? You are an assassin, after all.”

Kayano- Akari, Nagisa corrected himself, blinked a few times before her lips curled into a shaky smile and her cheeks colored deep red. “Thanks, Nagisa.”

“Don’t thank me,” the man ruffled her hair so that it covered her soul-penetrating eyes. “You are insanely talented, popular and beautiful. Any producer with two eyes and a brain can see that, and no commercial can take it away from you.” The fact that her face was covered didn’t help his own blush.

“You-you really think so?” Akari crooked her head so she looked at him from under his hand. Nagisa thought her tears had tried up but they welled up again and he stared at her in a daze.

“Kaya-Akari?” he stuttered. “What did I say? I’m sorry!”

She shook her head, unable to talk or explain herself. Lacking tissues, Nagisa wiped her tears away with his sleeve, which seemed to only make her cry more.

“I’m happy-” she sobbed, clutching his arm with a trembling hand “-to have you.” His heart leaped “Here,” she added. “I don’t deserve you”

Nagisa’s hand froze on her cheek and he squashed it. She looked up puzzled, but he simply opened his arms to welcome her in a hug. Akari jumped at the offer, hanging her hands around his neck and throwing him off balance. Nagisa lost his footing and landed on the floor, dragging her with him.

“S-sorry.” He tried getting up, but she just lay on top of him, cushioning her chin on his chest. A giggle leaped out of her and it evolved in an uncontrollable laugh interrupted by hiccups.. Seeing her happy was contagious, and Nagisa ended up chuckling as well.

“I’m really a dummy,” she said as she got up, offering Nagisa a hand. He took it and dusted himself off.

“Alright!” Akari yelled and slapped her cheeks so hard they burned bright red. She turned to Nagisa with her fists clenched, as if ready for battle. “I’m gonna call that manager of mine and tell him what’s on my mind!”

“And take tomorrow off!” Nagisa added, scratching his back from the fall.

“Off?” Akari repeated in a daze.

“Yeah. We need to go shopping- you can’t keep on living off instant ramen.”

“We?” she asked for the second time that night.

Nagisa smiled sheepishly. “You didn’t think I was leaving you alone, did you? We can do whatever you want tomorrow- though you probably don’t want to go to the cinema or anything… but I can even help around with housework if you need!” he blabbered.

“Nagisa.”

“I’m sorry I can’t really think of anything you’d like to do inside because you probably don’t want to go out where everybody will fawn over you so-”

“Nagisa,” she repeated, this time stepping closer.

“Anyway, I’m not letting you run away again. Akari.” The name suited her better than Kayano and it rolled naturally out of his mouth, as if it had waited to be used for so long.

She stared at him for a few moments before a smile tugged at her lips. For the first time that night, it wasn’t obstructed by tears. “Thanks.”

They held each other’s gazes for what seemed like forever until Akari broke the silence. “We can do whatever you want.”

“That’s not fair, you should decide!” Nagisa argued.

“I don’t really care,” Akari said, spinning on her heels as she strolled towards the bathroom. “Not as long as I’m with you.”

Nagisa stared behind her as she closed the door and he heard the water running. 

Akari Yukimura was a wonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
> I'm sorry that this chapter was a bit heavier on the feels but hey- all's well that ends well, right?  
> Anyway, Karma and Manami will keep having discussions like that of this chapter, but I won't write all of them. As for Nagisa, he spent the night at Kayano's. After she gulped down her coffee, she called her manager at midnight and gave him a peace of her mind. Nagisa stood no chance when he tried to make her lower her voice:)  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed:) Next chapter will be back to more Karmanami and either more OCs and a bit of their backstories of AsaRio. I haven't decided yet- you can help me decide down in the comments.  
> As always, kudos and comments are much beloved and keep me alive!


	7. Bond Length

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best way out is always through.  
> -Robert Frost  
> (I read my notes again and realised I promised each chapter summary to be a quote, but I forgot. I am so sorry.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bond length is the average distance between the nuclei of two atoms that share a bond. it shortens for the double bond and it's even shorter for the triple one. The closer the nuclei are, the bigger the electrons density is, which causes a polarisation of the bond.

The cold October breeze kissed Manami’s cheeks, whooshing by her two braids that were safely tucked under her scarf. She rubbed her hands together, fidgeting with the train ticket that was caught between them. She hadn’t been so excited to board a train in a while, especially not one that had the overly crowded Tokyo as destination.

“Boy is it cold,” Ishikawa said instead of a greeting, blowing air into his cupped hands. “Was October always this cold?”

“Global warming,” Tooru sneezed.

“I don’t feel any warmer,” Ishikawa commented as he unwrapped the scarf from around his neck and draped it over her shoulders in one swift move.

“You’ll freeze,” Tooru tried swatting his hand away, but he just tied the scarf in a neat bow over her bare collarbone despite her protests.

“I won’t. You develop a tolerance for the cold weather when your two older brothers use you to test their aim with snowballs.” He shivered despite his bravado.

Tooru must have noticed it too, because she inched in closer and leaned against him, letting the warm diffuse through her coat. Ishikawa jerked visibly, but he didn’t draw back, instead burying his nose in the high collar of his jacket to hide the blush that colored even the tip of his ears. Tooru was blushing as well, but she didn’t comment on her gesture and instead launched into a debate about global warming. Ishikawa happily obliged.

Manami watched her friends mildly amused and stifled a giggle. Maybe she should have changed her bet from spring to late winter. Karma’s mischievous smirk popped in her mind as she remembered the poll and Manami found her hand curling around thin air. She clutched it to herself, feeling her heart choke on loneliness again.

Ishikawa and Tooru were lucky, no distance but the one they stubbornly put between themselves keeping them apart. Manami couldn’t deny she envied them for that, but she was happy for them all the same.

Her and Karma, meanwhile, could only be connected through phones that failed to capture the charm of his purring voice and diluted the red of his hair. The alternative was the awfully crowded train now halting before them. People poured out of the open doors like molecules from a flask of water and Manami couldn’t help but wonder what the ride brought for each of them- Work? Friends? Family?

What did it bring for her?  _ What is he to you? _

Manami still didn’t know the answer to that question, and she wasn’t strong enough to force the question through her gritted teeth either. Every time she was about to free her soul by asking what was weighing her down, she ended up blurting out other questions. Perhaps she wasn’t ready to hear the answer yet, or perhaps she wasn’t meant to find out just yet. Either possibility led to the same unknown relationship status.

“We’re here!” Abe said, and it was enough of a surprise to make Tooru jump a good metre away from Ishikawa. Manami shook her head lightly, only to herself- Tooru had no idea how fortunate she was.

The train was packed and it took them a few minutes to make it to their seats. Not that she could sit properly anyway- she was jittery. There was something strange about the meetings Manami looked forward to the most- she awaited them with excitement, passed through them calmly, letting the fuzzy feeling envelope her, and then she fell in the lonely abyss that followed.

Meeting with Karma somehow managed to amplify all those feelings. The excitement before was akin to that of finding a new compound, mixed with the nervousness she felt before exams. The calmness was peace Manami could only associate with feeling at home. And the loneliness- it was crushing, like the end of a reunion all over again, only this time, a week wasn’t enough to get over it.

Phone calls didn’t make it any better, since they only provided her with more reasons to be excited without solving the problem of the distance. They were a poor excuse for overcoming the hurdle that their lifestyles was, and it only gave her false hope.

Trains were much more efficient. She had once asked Karma why he liked them so much, and he said it was for the destination. Manami was starting to feel like she understood what he meant.

“It’s quite a surprise that we are going to Tokyo,” Abe said as the engine roared beneath them and the platform began to slowly fade away into the distance.

“Karma-kun said he has another meeting later today and couldn’t manage making it to Tsubasa. He said Skype wouldn’t do either- something about having to talk to the Student Council, as well.”

“Those are just excuses to see you,” Yoshikawa rolled her eyes and poked Manami’s cheek. She batted her hand away with a smile and a small blush.

“That’s not it,” she told Tooru, though she herself wasn’t very convinced of it. As selfish as it was, she was glad she was going to see him again. Before, Manami felt weeks went by in the blink of an eye- now, they were agonisingly long.

“You shouldn’t just assume how he feels,” Ishikawa commented. Tooru gave him a puzzled look and he raised up his hands in defense. “Look, all I’m saying is that we have no idea what goes in his head, so we shouldn’t go making assumptions.”

Right. And yet she couldn’t ask what was in his head. And even if she did, would the guarded Karma tell the truth?

Tooru crossed her arms. “It is  _ not  _ an assumption because it’s quite the obvious explanation,” she argued confidently.

“And how would you know that? How would you know what goes inside the mind of someone you don’t even know that well?” Ishikawa leaned towards her with fire in his eyes. 

Manami wasn’t good with layered meanings, but she knew his friends well enough to realise this wasn’t about Karma anymore. Did Tooru’s jumping away from him hurt him? Was it the fact that she hadn’t yet given a proper answer to his repeated confessions? Manami’s heart gave a pang of something that wasn’t loneliness or sadness, but uselessness. She stared at the two, unable to will her brain to take a decision or to act up.

“Uhm, guys?” Misaki peeped up in a peacemaking attempt. “How about we focus on the programm for the fair instead?”

She couldn’t stop them before Tooru tossed the scarf in Ishikawa’s face, aiming for the bangs he spent so long stylising into spikes. He crumpled it into a ball and threw it back in her lap, paying his hair no mind. “I dare you to analyse that scarf and come back with the results of what was going on in my head.”

Tooru watched the material shocked, squeezing it between her fingers. There was silence as she tried deciphering his behaviour. Manami felt guilty- an outsider always had it easier than those involved.

“So we’re going to start with the flashy experiments, right?” Abe-senpai said calmly, ignoring everything that had happened. Misaki immediately replied and the group slowly immersed itself into their roles as scientists.

From the corner of her eye, Manami caught Tooru fidgeting with the ends of Ishikawa’s scarf. She schooled her hands not to wrap around Tooru and kept in a sigh.

Why was there no train to shorten the distance people put between their souls?

***

The knife whooshed past Karma’s ear to hit the thin air where his forehead was a mere second ago. As he dodged and prepared to strike Isogai’s right to open an attack to the left, two things happened. One, Karma felt five pairs of eyes staring at them and a grin tugged at the corners of his lips. Two, the flame that burned behind Isogai’s pupils pierced through him to let him know the arrival hadn’t gone unnoticed. With his strike to the right of Isogai’s abdomen and the latter’s feint, they both decided company wouldn’t interrupt their match.

Karma ducked again as the ruber blade tore through nothingness above his mop of red hair and kicked to the right, barely missing Isogai’s leg. He felt sweat trail down his forehead to his neck, where it damped his T-shirt. They had been sparring for at least five minutes, but his partner hadn’t lost his concentration even a bit. If anything, his attacks were now better directed and the physical exhaustion only enhanced the precisions of his strikes.

Karma’s attack didn’t go waisted, though: Isogai lost his balance ever so slightly and Karma used the momentum to sweep him off his feet with a well delivered kick to his ankles and push the blade against his neck. As soon as he did, he felt the cold rubber placed against his nape and Isogai’s grin matched his.

“That was a tie,” Okuda’s familiar voice echoed in the training hall as she opened the door to the training hall nonchalantly. Karma tore his eyes from Isogai’s and watched her through his damp bangs.

“And a shame, too. I thought I had this one,” he pouted, giving Isogai a hand to help him back to his feet.

“You’ve stolen some of my moves, though,” Isogai laughed and smacked his back friendly. “Besides, your defense really is unbreakable. Mr. K’s moves are unbeatable.”

“Red devil,” Yoshioka muttered as the rest of the team reluctantly followed Okuda in the hall. Her eyes were fixed on the knife Karma was swirling through his fingers. He made a show of throwing it in the air and catching it between his index and middle fingers just to see their reactions.

Karma allowed her to think he hadn’t heard her and instead focused on the girl wearing the braids again. She had kept the promise.

“Wanna have a go at it? For old time’s sake?” he offered, aiming the knife at Okuda. She dodged it easily.

“Karma-kun always won,” she said as she detached the blade from where it struck the wall. “I’m more of a support character.”

“Not true,” he hummed. “I’d be lost without your amo.” As proof, he dug into his belt and threw her two tubes. She recognised her handywork immediately and her face broke into a smile.

“You kept them,” she observed.

“Of course,” Karma shrugged as if it was obvious. “You made them specifically for me.”

“Just what  _ is  _ going on here?” Yoshioka asked louder and cleared her throat.

Isogai took control before anyone else could react. “Excuse my bad manners,” he bowed. “I am Isogai Yuuma, president of the Student Organisation. Me and Karma have workout sessions like these every once in awhile, so you’ll have to forgive us for not welcoming you properly. I suppose you have something to discuss with Karma?”

“Yes,” Abe squinted at the man. Karma kept in a snort- Isogai was a natural, yet Abe was still suspicious of his polite behaviour. Truly an interesting bunch, this team of his.

“He’ll be with you shortly,” Isogai assured them with a smile. “It’s nice to see you again, Okuda-san,” he greeted her, wiping his hands before stretching it out for a handshake. The Student Council president had brought up his A game.

“It is a pleasure. How is Kataoka-san doing?” she hit her mark in the first try. Isogai’s face reacted instantaneously with a blush and Karma bit his lip to keep from chuckling- support characters weren’t so deadly as to shatter perfect acts. How long was his going to last?

“I’ll go change and be right back,” Karma waved them off and headed for the lockers.

***

“One second toying with knives, the next one in a suit. Just  _ what _ are you?” Ishikawa raised an eyebrow at Karma, admiration and suspicion so tightly woven together in his voice that Manami couldn’t tell them apart.

“Yoshikawa said it herself,” he hummed. “A red devil.” Karma threw Tooru a glance that would froze the blood of anyone over his shoulder. Her eyes widened in shock- Manami didn’t know he had heard that either. “I quite like the nickname,” he resumed nonchalantly, shifting from the deadly expression to a playful smirk. A trademark Akabane smirk that was part of the distance he put up.

“You’re Karma-kun,” Manami cut him off, trying not to let her frustration transpire in her voice. “Not a half-assed Chuunibyou or a red devil.” She frowned at him- she didn’t like it when he was self-depreciative.

Karma glanced sideways at her with an unreadable expression before he sighed and his golden eyes melted into a softer expression. “If Okuda-san says so, I can’t say otherwise, can I?” He smiled, but it was distant again- a copy, not the genuine article. It bit into Manami’s heart. Did she say anything wrong?

“Here we are,” Karma stopped in front of a closed door and pulled out a set of keys from his pocket before she could react to his comeback. With a click, the knob turned and he invited them in.

Manami was greeted by the smell of dusty old pages and sturdy ulm desks covered in piles of books and worksheets. A gentle breeze stirred the files on one of the desks and sent them in a dance that Karma stopped with a displeased  _ tsk _ . Manami recognized his neat handwriting on the papers- they were perfectly arranged and the key points were highlighted in a single colour, much unlike her own research.

“This is the Law Cabinet,” Karma informed them as he stapled the worksheets and closed the window. “We’re going to hold our meeting here.” He gestured for them to take a place at one of the desks.

Manami didn’t take long to decide where she wanted to sit. The desk in the back of the room invited her to join the last raw, just like she used to in middle school. She was pretty sure that was where Karma usually worked, too.

There was an air of wistfulness to the old chamber with the wooden furniture. It looked like class 3E, only that she wasn’t an assassin anymore. The hole in her heart deepend as she took a look around- she wasn’t with her middle school classmates, either. This was her life now.

“I looked over the suggestions you emailed me,” Karma interrupted the painful memories and Manami snapped to attention. “I like it- you’re starting with a bang.” He smirked and the intensity of it was enough to make her feel right at home, even without the Assassination Classroom. It was like back in the cafe- it was a feeling she wanted to hold on to.

“Well of course, if we want to get kids interested. Chemistry has this mystical feel to it, right?” Ishikawa answered excited. It had been his idea to start with the London fog and the Vulcano.

“We were thinking that afterwards, it might be a good idea to introduce the kids to what exactly makes those experiments work. The trick behind the magic,” Abe said when Tooru didn’t comment on it. That had been her contribution- the division in several categories. The air was tense with her silence and Manami glimpsed her with crossed arms on the left of the room- away from Ishikawa.

“It would be nice to let them see how atoms make up everything around us,” Abe continued. “Misaki is our Structures expert, so she’ll introduce them into the world of atoms.” The youngest one nodded.

“And then finish it off with letting them make their own experiments,” Manami concluded, ignoring the pity and guilt she felt.

“Sounds reasonable, but there’s a catch,” Karma said after having listened to their arguments. “If we go like that, children that didn’t catch the first few experiments would be lost. So I would suggest going with several tables in the same stall.” Karma got up and snatched a piece of chalk from the teacher’s desk. “Up front, where everybody can see it, let’s have the flashy experiments. Then-” he drew a table behind it, to the right “-let’s go with structures and other explanations. Two tables for that. And then here-” he drew a table more to the left “-do it yourself experiments. Sounds good?” He turned around to see his team’s responses.

“Great,” Abe nodded. “But we’re only five people.”

“One for each table. And one to go around with the children, perhaps?” Manami suggested.

“Or we can constantly switch,” Tooru eventually spoke. Ishikawa glimpsed at her like a cat looked at its prey- without betraying any emotion or intention.

“I-I’m fine with always staying in the back,” Misaki muttered. Manami smiled at her encouragely, but lacked the right words to give her faith in herself. Thinking back on it, she was always on the receiving end, never the one to have a motivational speech.

“Why?” Karma asked nonchalantly. “Okuda-san tells me you’re quite knowledgeable. And since she’s a terrible liar, I do believe her.” He flashed Manami a quick smirk, not even close to being apologetic.

Misaki gazed up at Manami with a shy smile. “If Okuda-senpai thinks so, I c-could give it a try.”

“That would be great!” Manami nodded in agreement. Karma was now jotting down the changes, oblivious to the confidence boost Misaki had just received. His statement was so natural, his demeanor so normal, that Manami wondered whether he was aware of the tremendous influence he had on others.

***

“The fair spans over the course of two days. That means we have two days to make as many children as we can fall in love with science- we need to stand out,” Karma announced, frowning as he looked into his papers. 

Manami rubbed her eyes and stifled a yawn- they had been in the meeting for what seemed like forever. She forgot how fun planning with friends for a big event as- and also how demanding it was on her body. 

“Don’t experiments stand out enough?” Abe asked, just as drowsy as her.

“Chemistry isn’t only about experiments, now is it?” Karma drummed his fingers on the blackboard, wrecking his brains to find the catch. He must have been the most tired one of all of them, but the politician suit and attitude didn’t give him away.

“Science is only interesting because we can use it daily. It’s about the way in which it’s so deeply engraved into our own being that we can’t exist without it,” Manami spoke without thinking. Karma’s gaze shifted from the papers to her and he fixed her intently, as if watching through the glasses they had chosen together once upon a time and  _ through _ her. “Science makes us human- but it can also destroy us,” she said, returning his gaze with fire, trying to break through him in return. She wasn’t good with layered words, but  _ he  _ was.

The intensity in his gaze flickered and Manami felt that loneliness seep through her again. Korosensei was the result of science- and his death was the result of her not being good enough.

She didn’t have the time to dwell on her failure as Karma flicked his fingers. “That’s it.” Everybody looked at him curiously. “Befriending science comes with huge responsibilities. If we’re presenting them with experiments such as the vulcano, we also have to let them know they can’t do that at home.”

“The downside of science?” Abe questioned and squinted. “Isn’t that counterproductive?”

Manami’s knitted brow unknotted as her brain processed. “No.” Abe turned to look at her, but she was watching Karma. “They’ll feel like defenders of justice. It’d be their duty to do something against the misuse of science.”

A grin tugged at the redhead’s lips. “Bingo!” The word tickled Manami’s ears pleasantly- she was starting to associate it with breaking through Karma’s defenses and reading his mind, no matter how trivial the things she found out about him were.

***

Isogai stopped himself from knocking at the door when he heard Karma’s voice. A smile crept around his lips and he let out a relieved sigh. Perhaps his idea to make Karma part of the committee wasn’t doomed to fail.

“Excuse me,” he eventually knocked and entered. “Good work, everybody! I was thinking you may want something to drink?”

He was graced with thankful looks and exhausted faces. One of the guys even went as far as to yell, “Yes!”. He got himself a stern look from a bespectacled- probably older- male and a sigh from a tired Okuda. How he still had enough energy to yell when even Karma looked worn-out was a mystery to Isogai. He needed the recipe for that.

“Karma, maybe you should give them a break. You’ve been in here for more than an hour and a half already!” Isogai smiled understandingly, pitying Okuda’s team. When Karma was determined, he pushed the limit beyond the horizon. Tanaka was one of the few that could keep up with him.

“And we’ve progressed nicely  _ because  _ I didn’t let them procrastinate,” Karma answered, but his voice mellowed out when the same man whined in the background. “I thought you liked flashy, Ishikawa?” he grinned.

“I do, but the battery ran out!”

Isogai chuckled. “Okay, let’s take 10,” Karma eventually compromised, rubbing his temples to release the fatigue. Isogai remembered he still had a career counseling meeting thereafter.

“What would you all like to drink?” Isogai asked.

“Coffee!” the energetical guy- Ishikawa- answered first. The glasses-man ordered the same, just less enthusiastically. Another order was placed for barely tea and a woman that looked oddly out-of-place ordered a cappuccino.

“Green tea?” Isogai asked Okuda and she nodded with a smile. “Karma, yours is on me,” he added as he made his way out.

“No way, it should be on me,” Karma protested as he got up to buy the drinks with the student council president.

“Didn’t I tell you I’ll treat you to strawberry milk?”

A snort made Isogai whip his head to the cappuccino-orderer. “Strawberry milk?” she asked before bursting into a fit of giggles. “The red devil drinks strawberry milk?”

Isogai’s look shifted back to Karma’s smug expression. “Didn’t Okuda-san tell you? It’s  _ Karma _ . And besides, I’m 10 centimetres taller than you, am I not?” he finished with a wave of a hand and pushed the door open.

Isogai followed his friend out of the room with a huge smile. Perhaps they weren’t close enough for him to ask what that was about, but he could tell Karma was standing up for himself, and that was more than enough.

***

“Akabane-kun, you’re going to take the exam to enter the government, aren’t you?”

Professor Aizawa was sharp. He was also quite odd, but Karma guessed all geniuses had their quirks.

“Yes. I was thinking I’ll be prepared for it by next year.”

“I can’t deny you will, if I am to refer to your academical scores. However-” he stopped to scrutinise Karma through his thick lenses “-are you psychologically prepared?”

“I do believe I can withstand the stress,” Karma answered politely.

“That’s not all there is to it.” He looked as if he was trying very hard not be annoyed with his student. “Akabane-kun, humans aren’t self-sufficient. We are born with shortcomings so that someone else will complete us.” A very romantic point of view, Karma noted. “Can you share your happiness with someone else?”

Karma was about to ask if there was any meaning behind that when Okuda’s face popped into his head and he bit his tongue. His mind was very timely with its random thoughts, and Karma wasn’t entirely sure why Okuda was so beloved by his association area.

He stole a glance at Professor Aizawa’s file. It wrote Career Counseling, not Life Advice. He kept that observation for himself, though.

“You’re a bright student, Akabane, so I’ll let you in on a secret: unless you have someone with you through the hardest times, life really is meaningless.”

Aimed and hit. Karma swallowed the unpleasant knot in his throat and tried not to think at Korosensei again.

The teacher sighed and leaned into his armchair. “Well, that’s what living for over 50 years teaches you.” Or what having your loved one die in front of you teaches you.

So his theory was right, but then why did his experiment come with such contradicting results? Whenever he was with Okuda he felt at peace, but when she wasn’t there it was like he was an empty shell. Sometimes she gave him replies that stung and other times she had the uncanny ability of making him feel whole again. And then there was the way she smiled, that made him feel both blessed and lonely at the same time.

Karma curled his fingers into a fist and run his thumb over the knuckles. His eyes drifted to the teacher who was lightning a cigarette, then back to his fist, tightened around thin air. He wanted to hold hands with her again. He wanted to have her at his side.

The realisation didn’t dawn on him, weighing on his shoulders, neither did it hit him like a truck. The impact didn’t let him breathless, and he didn’t fight against it, either. It was more like the thought had been confined in a corner of his mind, and he had just now received the key to unlock it. 

_ He couldn’t imagine a future without her. _

He didn’t know how to name the feeling- love sounded pretentious and friendship was undervalued. Perhaps it was both, or maybe it was neither.

“Thank you, sir,” he said honestly. The teacher jerked in his sit and let a lazy smile cross his face. 

“Don’t thank me. Guiding you is my duty.”

***

“That Akabane knows his job, huh?” Tooru said as they waited on the crowded platform in Tokyo’s train station. “I might… have been wrong about him,” she admitted, staring at her shoes with utmost interest.

“Is that so?” Ishikawa answered coldly, glancing at the timetable aimlessly. They already knew the train and hour.

Tooru’s eyes darted towards him, pleading him to look her way. She hated being hated- it was one of her biggest fears. “This scarf-” she tugged at the red material “-nothing came out of analysing it.”

“Really now?” Ishikawa said with an indifferent air. Manami felt the temperature on the platform drop by at least two degrees- was her idea to give them a moment a bad one?

Tooru tugged at his jacket to make him look at her. When he did, her eyes were watery and her lower lip trembling. He stared at her for a good moment before he undid the knot on the scarf she was wearing. She desperately clawed her nails into the material, hanging onto it as she was hanging onto him- like he needed it to survive.

He ignored her struggle and bat her hand away anyway, but only to circle it once again around her neck and wrap the ends in a bow- much tighter than the last one he had made. She looked at him questioningly.

“You know I can’t get stay mad at you,” he almost accused her and met her gaze with a sigh. She placed a hand over his still-holding-the-scarf fingers and smiled shakily.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t just assume what others think unless they say it out loud. And I shouldn’t make light of their feelings either.” A tear escaped the barrier of her eyelashes and rolled down her cheek silently. “I’m sorry,” she repeated.

Ishikawa brought his forehead against hers and whispered back, “That’s right, you shouldn’t. And you also should listen what the other’s have to say and trust their words, because we’re friends here. And we won’t leave you over a stupid argument, so stop crying.” She nodded as he wiped the tear away. “I like you way too much to leave you, so believe in me a bit more, would you?”

Tooru wrap a shaky hand around his jacket. He brought her in for a warm hug, tucking her head under his chin. “This is warm,” he said, despite the fact that his breath formed white clouds in the air and he shivered.

Warmth filled Manami as well and a smile curled about her lips as she watched them. Her phone buzzed and she fished it with frozen fingers in her purse. She felt even warmer when her numb fingers unlocked the screen to read a message from Karma.

_ I liked the braids. Although they suit you, I won’t tell you to wear them more- I like to think of them as a sight only for me. _

Her cheeks got warmer as well.

_ Only if your genuine smile is also kept only for me, Karma-kun. _

_ Deal,  _ came his response.

She put the phone away and made an oath to herself to bring that smile more often on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again and Merry Christmas!  
> I hope you have enjoyed this chapter. It has high time for Karma to realise Manami is more than a friend, wasn't it? Things will get interesting from now on- especially with the fair approaching:) Also, I hope you enjoy the Yoshikawa-Ishikawa segment. I love them as characters, but their relationship dynamic is also important for Manami's character, as you have probably already realised.  
> Also, this chapter is more centred on Manami and her insecurities. You may call this the start of her "arc". Next chapter will be dedicated to the way Karma's friends influence him (his "arc" as I see it is the overarching plot of this character-driven story- or, you know, just the fluff man, the fluff!) The way I have planned it out now, we have around 20-25 chapters in total.  
> Anyway, I'll stop my rambling. Thank you for all your sweet comments and kudos! I never thought this fic will be so loved. stormilys also gave me the courage to write more about trains, so the beginning is Manamai and her relationship to them. Thank you once again, everyone, and happy holidays!


	8. Carbon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I like storms. They let me know that even the sky cries sometimes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carbon can be found in different states, called allotropic forms- coal, diamond and fullerenes. They are all inert and react with great difficulty. Diamonds are formed under great temperatures and pressure, and they are so stable with their design that they are often used to cut through thick materials. Coal, on the other hand, has layers upon layers that present great tension between them because of the dislocated electrons. If coal stains, there is hardly any solvent to wash it off, because it’s insoluble.
> 
> I have a recommandation to make. I don't usually do this, but listen to Good Intentions by Dappy in the first part of the chapter. You'll understand why. You can also blame me in the comments- I've prepared myself.

The bubble bath was refreshing and the steam in the bathroom conferred more volume to Nakamura's hair, or so she claimed. She was rubbing her temples with a towel when she reached for her phone to check for missed calls. Two from  _ Daddy Issues _ . She had to change that nickname. Maybe  _ Crying over drinks _ fit him better.

"You called?" she asked when he picked up, plopping on her bed and examining her homework for the weekend. The pile was huge and she had to stifle an annoyed groan- that was it for reading Stephen King's new book.

"Yes." His voice made Nakamura snap out of making plans and offer him her undivided attention- Asano didn't usually do the strangled voice.

"What did you do?" she asked, not entirely sure she wanted to hear the answer. She had a feeling she knew what he was about to say anyway.

"Something stupid," Asano confessed. Nakamura's silence urged him to continue. "I may have had a fight with Lea," he said, obviously spilling only half of the truth.

"And?" Nakamura pushed.

"And we broke up," he said in a single breath.

She was surprised that the news didn't surprise her. In fact, that wasn't a news at all. Still, she felt a shiver pass through her whole being, settling in her stomach. She wrapped the blanket around her, but it didn't chase away the nasty feeling.

"How did it happen?" She forced herself to be calm enough for both of them. Nakamura heard shuffling on the other end of the call and allowed Asano to gather himself up.

"Less than an hour ago. She called me to ask if I wanted to go to a concert in two weeks. I told her I couldn't because I was going back to Japan then for a week. She flipped on me saying I always preferred you over her."

"And you said what?" Nakamura asked, the monster in her belly choking her words. She refused to call the feeling guilt.

"That she was exaggerating."

Smooth, Nakamura's inner comedian wanted to say. "Asano," she sighed instead.

"I'm tired, Nakamura." His voice was soft, barely a whisper. "I've had enough of being told what to do, being told I'm not a good or attentive or whatever boyfriend."

She knew. But she shut up.

"She's been like this ever since last year. I don't know what I was doing. Hoping for a miracle, probably," he snorted. "Were my feelings a lie, Nakamura?"

Her heart broke at the sound of his defeat, and she steeled herself before answering. The last thing he needed now was a crier.

"They weren't. Lea wasn't lying either. Sometimes… things just don't work out."

Where did things went so awfully wrong?

When she first met Lea, she really admired her. She was a woman worthy of the title of princess and her English was flawless. She could tell why Asano had fallen for her- she had both the elegance he appreciated and spark he missed within her, and she burned brightly. She completed him perfectly. Watching from afar, Nakamura couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.

The Lea she met in Boston... It was as if her and the Lea they met in middle school had never crossed paths. For a few weeks, Nakamura quietly observed, treating her as she always had. It took failed jokes, attempted excursions and a heartbreaking talk with a not very sober Asano for her to realise the spark couldn't be relit. Asano's forced smile was painful to watch when he plastered it there. The fact that Lea was both the one who made him put up the act and the one who could shatter that facade made the pain unbearable.

Up to this day, Nakamura hadn't figured out why she took it upon herself to make Asano laugh. The trouble, she told herself, was worth it if she could see him genuinely smile- it was small, and rare like a diamond- and like all worthy diamonds, it brightened up her day.

Lea's clear blue eyes, on the other hand, couldn't be restored. There was a never-ending storm in them, one that Nakamura was only able to explain through the death of her father and the harsh reality she came to discover as the beauty of the outside world started cracking around her and the ugliness resurfaced. Her cheeriness was forced, her elegance now an armor protecting her from the broken illusion. The giggle she used to reserve for Nakamura's jokes was now an icy look, and the sheer joy of exploring the world turned into a spiteful glance.

And then there was the way she looked at Nakamura when she managed to make Asano laugh, with both thunder and clouds of rain darkening her face. Nakamura knew there was still that excitement in her, but she didn't know how far to dig to bring it back to light. The cruelty of the real world hit her hard: People dying of hunger, homeless fathers, starving children, debts and decisions she had to shoulder alone. Responsibilities that dampened her smile. Weights nobody else had to carry.

Nakamura had to make a choice. It wasn't Sophie's choice, not by a long shot, but it still hurt. Either she could fight for Lea's happiness, or for Asano's. For the longest time she hoped for both- until Asano stopped her.

_ "Nakamura, you're laughing less," he noticed as he stirred the ice in his glass of scotch. _

_ "Am I?" She forced a laugh to prove him wrong. _

_ "You're laughing more. Just- less genuine." He fixed her with pupils so dark she felt like they absorbed everything, including her and her sadness. In the black hole that opened there, Nakamura felt like he shouldered work, family, and Lea. Or maybe it was just the alcohol talking. _

_ One thing, was crystal clear, even through the veil of alcohol. There was nobody to shoulder his worries- and that's when Nakamura decided to become his healer. _

"Nakamura?" Asano asked and she realised she hadn't been listening. "You're taking this harder than me," he noticed with what seemed worry in his voice.

_ Great. Now I'm worrying him instead of helping. Just perfect, Rio! _

"We are from different worlds," Asano said, resigned.

"But you weren't always!" Nakamura tried. She didn't even know why she tried to get them back together. This was the healthiest outcome.

"Things change."

She was the one who chose to save him over Lea. She was the one who butted in between them.

"Maybe you should talk to her again."

"There's nothing to talk about. We pretended for longer than we should have."

She was taking it harder because she was selfish.

"I'm sorry," Nakamura whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

"It's partially my fault."

"No it isn't. You were always there when I needed you. Thank you, Nakamura." Asano's voice was wavering with genuine emotion. She gave in to the guilt that strangled her.

"Anytime."

***

Miyuki started meowing lazily a few moments after the phone rang for the first time. Karma woke up more to check on her than his midnight caller.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly and picked up the cat from her basket. Miyuki nestled into his chest obediently and he patted her fur mechanically. Her warmth made up for the comfort of his blanket as he put her down on the bed and turned his attention to his persistent caller.

1:17 A.M.-  _ Vice Captain _ .

Karma picked up the second call that entered at 1:19 in the middle of the night. He wasn't thrilled.

"Nakamura. What a delight." The sarcasm was obvious in his groggy voice.

"Hi," she answered in a brittle voice.

Karma's hand stilled between Miyuki's ears. She purred and pushed her hand against his palm, encouraging him to continue. "What happened?" His voice was still hoarse, but he suddenly wasn't that sleepy anymore.

"I messed up," Nakamura whispered and her voice was followed by a loud sob. "I messed up big time," she repeated.

Karma nestled up in bed and listened. 

He listened to Nakamura blurt out the truth while quiet tears rolled down her cheeks, tears he could hear in her broken voice. He listened as she told him Lea never annoyed her, but that it was easier to make light of the situation that to explain the truth. He listened to the real reason behind Asano's drinking sessions. He listened to the way his friend struggled to make the situation better, and the way she miserably failed.

"I don't think you have to save anyone if that means losing yourself," he told her when she quieted down.

"You know Lea, Karma. And you know how much she meant to Asano!" she sobbed.

"You said it yourself, didn't you? That was another Lea." He petted Miyuki's fur and scratched her tummy. "Changing people is impossible unless they themselves want to change, Nakamura." He knew that she knew that. "And it's fine to grieve, too. But before you say you've failed, why don't you talk to her?"

"To Lea?" she asked incredulously. "What could I possibly say that won't make the situation worse?"

"Just… say you're sorry. I think she'll understand."

Nakamura sniffed. "I ruined everything. I doubt being sorry will solve anything."

"Doing nothing won't solve it either. Besides, you're feeling genuinely miserable." He said it like it feeling horrible should make her feel better. It was strange that it actually did.

Her pain seeped through Karma's bones and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand. And what hurt the most was that he couldn't really do anything but listen.

"I'll go in the morning," she eventually conceded. There was a long pause in which they both let the clock tick away. It was 3 in the morning- and Karma couldn’t care less. "Thank you, Karma."

He hummed in response. Just as he was about to close the call, a thought popped into his mind.

_ Unless you have someone with you through the hardest times, life really is meaningless. _

"Is going through this much pain worth it?"

Nakamura blew her nose. "It is. Because when you see that smile, nothing else really matters," she said simply, and Karma could hear the shaky smile in her voice. "Good night, Captain."

"Night."

Karma stared at the screen until it went dark and dull and then let it fall on the mattress with a deaf sound.

His heart clenched as he remembered the nonchalance with which Nakamura used to talk. She had been bottling it up for so long, not telling him. If his biology lessons hadn’t taught him better, Karma would have sworn his heart cracked with the awareness that he wasn't reliable enough for her to confide in from the beginning. The crack only deepened with the haunting doubt that he himself would ever go through such pain for anybody else.

Sharing your sorrows went both ways. Karma covered his eyes with the sleeve of his pyjama and tried to put himself in Nakamura's shoes. Wouldn't he have just pranked both Asano and Lea?

Miyuki let out a snore and Karma cradled her into his arms, clinging to his cat as if she was a life vest.

The night was long and endlessly dark, but Karma couldn't lull himself to sleep.

***

Nakamura breathed in and knocked. What go possibly go worse?

There was noise behind the door, the sound of slippers against the bare floor and then the light through the eye fish lens. Nakamura was ready to be kept outside for minutes on end, so she jolted when she heard the door unlock and the knob turn.

"Good morning," Lea's tired eyes met hers. The pupils were so dilated her irises looked almost black, and her eyes were puffy. Nakamura guessed they looked a lot alike in that moment.

"Hey," she answered weakly. She stared into the dark hole that opened in the princess's eyes, but there was only sadness. No malice, no despair.

Nakamura found it hard to form words.

"I'm sorry." It was all she could articulate and all that needed to be said.

Lea's face didn't change, but her irises glowed with the spark that Asano loved. Her voice was soft when she spoke, her sincere words reassuring. "There's nothing to apologise for. I'm- actually glad,” she spoke as she herself couldn’t believe she said it out loud- surprised it wasn’t a lie. There was a pause before she quietly added, as a clarification for both herself and Nakamura, "He smiles when he's with you."

Nakamura stared at her until she no longer could because of the tears that pricked at the corners of her eyes. "That's not the kind of end I wanted."

"But it's a happy one," Lea said. The storm in her eyes had passed, and now it was just rain falling over the earth and purifying everything. "It's better than what I could have written."

Nakamura didn't have the force to negate without her voice breaking, so she shook her head instead.

She was taken by surprise when Lea's arms wrapped around her neck and she buried her head in Nakamura's shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice muffled by Nakamura's shirt. 

Nakamura’s arm dangled in the air for a moment, weighing the situation before she hugged Lea back. She brought her closer and held onto her fragile frame tightly, afraid it'd shatter as soon as she let go.

The Princess broke off the embrace after a while with a sad smile. "I'm glad I met you, Rio."

"Me too," Nakamura said before the door to the Princess's chamber closed and sealed their worlds apart.

***

Manami munched on the end of her pencil and tapped her fingers on the spine of her notebook. There was something missing in the reaction. Something didn't fit in the aldolic condensation and it weighed on her mind early on a Sunday morning. Perhaps she was extracting the proton from the wrong carbon.

It was then that her phone blinked. She sighed defeated and snatched it from her bed, figuring that a break was needed. To her delight, the caller was the perfect distraction.

"Did anything happen, Karma-kun?"

"No, not really." His voice was groggy- Manami remembered him mentioning that he wasn't a morning person. She wondered what got him up so early on a weekend, but his confession stopped her from asking. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Oh," was all she made of it before letting out a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" 

She imagined him pouting and the chuckle intensified. "It's just- Karma-kun is always so practical that it's strange for you to call with no reason."

"Well maybe I do have a reason," he said mystically.

Manami cuddled in the cushions on her bed and curled a finger around the hem of her hoodie. "What reason?" she inquired.

"Maybe I missed you."

The grip on her hoodie tightened and she felt her stomach flutter. "You saw me two days ago." She was unable to hide the surprise- pleasant, but a surprise nonetheless- in her voice.

"Maybe Okuda-san is like a drug," Karma responded with her own words, pronouncing them in a way that layered them with an unidentifiable double meaning.

"A necessity or an unhealthy addiction?" she quoted him with the hint of a smile.

"Your braids are an unhealthy addiction," he declared. "They really suit you." Manami felt her cheeks burn, but she didn't want to stop him. "And Okuda-san herself… Hmm, I guess you're a necessity. Or at least that's what I want you to be."

"Karma-kun is a necessity too!" she blurted out before she could think twice.

"Am I?" he asked, but he wasn't teasing her. If anything, he sounded dead serious. "Even if I'm a prankster?" There was a hint of sorrow in the voice that otherwise sounded joyous. She could picture the spark in his eyes faltering like it did back in the cafe. She wasn't going to let it pass again.

"What has one to do with the other? You are yourself, with both good and bad parts, and both are addictive." He was being self-depreciative again, and Manami wanted to stop him. The desire to hug and assure him pulsed through her, but physical distance was against them. And then there were the walls that Karma would only raise higher if they were together- walls Manami stubbornly refused to let in her way.

Karma let out a small laugh. "That's why I like Okuda-san so much," he said. Manami had a feeling of deja-vu she couldn't quite put her finger on. "You always see right through me, don't you?"

"Isn't that why we're partners in crime?"

"It is." There was a pause before he conspiratorially whispered, "So, Okuda-san, do you want to play a game?"

"A game?" she asked at the same time as she realised what was missing in her reaction. She had approached it with the wrong mindset- it was a nucleophilic substitution.

***

Karma had a way of turning everything into a game played by his own rules, which made Manami both excited and anxious. On the one hand, there was something whimsical about anything involving Karma, something mysterious like walking down a dark path hand in hand with a trusted person. She knew nothing bad could happen, but none of them knew where the path lead either. On the other hand, there was the uncomfortable feeling that being in the dark brought- because darkness always brings out the worst in people.

Yet Manami went along with it- maybe because of her gut instinct but probably because it involved Karma. She wondered if he altered her decision making skills, but decided she didn't care- probably a miscalculation her partner in crime was responsible of.

_ Partners in crime _ was their status now, and Manami thought it suited them best. It was more than friends and implied the need to lean on the other in desperate situations, while giving them enough independence to work alone.

So when Karma called a little past midnight, she leaned back in her chair and pursed her lips into a smile.

"Are you done studying?"

"I'm never done, Karma-kun. Chemistry never ends," she laughed, rolling the pen around on the open pages of  _ Science Ethics _ . "But I have finished more than I thought I could do in one day. Talking to you motivates me."

"I'll take that as a compliment." She heard the smirk in his voice and braced her hand against her knees as she brought them up to her chest. "I got permission to use the substances you asked for from the university," he said.

"Really? That's awesome! Ishikawa-kun will be over the moon." She let out a giggle when she imagined her teammate's yelp of joy- he had always wanted to work with concentrated acids, but Abe-sempai locked them away from his excitement.

"I can imagine it. You'll have to come to Tokyo again this weekend, though. There is a meeting with the organisation committee and they want to meet the group leaders."

Manami tried not to sound scared when she said, "Sure." She wasn't comfortable around large groups and having people stare at her always made her shrink in herself.

"Okuda-san?" Karma's voice contained the unasked question.

_ "A game?" _

_ "Yes~" Karma mused. "Let's talk about one sensitive matter per day. We'll take turns." _

_ Once upon a time, they did that without having to play a game, but simply because they wanted- needed- to. Once upon a time, Manami knew Karma's biggest fear was having no fears and he knew that she was scared of thunder. _

_ She wished to be upon that time again. _

_ "Sure." _

"I'm not good with people," Manami said in one breath. It wasn't his reaction that made her uncertain to voice her concerns aloud, but her own- it was stupid to care what others thought. However, just like with thunder, science and logic played no role in fear.

"You're just fine with me," Karma said matter-of-factly. "And with your team."

"Because I  _ know _ you." Because he didn't watch her with the critical eyes of Class A students. "Remember how I was back in middle school?" Back in middle school she had Korosensei to guide her.

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Okuda-san," Karma said and she heard the determination in his voice. If she closed her eyes, she could see his golden irises burn through her to get the words across. "You were never afraid of me, and I am known as the red devil," he half-joked. "Why would you be afraid of some lousy students?"

"First of all, you aren't that scary, Karma-kun. You just don't show your soft side around everyone." She heard him grunt, but knew she wouldn't get away by making this about him. Karma had heard her struggle and wouldn't let her go until she was feeling better- and if he was there, he would have probably hugged her to absorb all of the negative energy. She felt blood rush to her cheeks-  _ shouldn't have thought of that _ .

"Second of all, people judge." She took in a deep breath and tried condensing her feelings into words. It took much energy- almost as much as it took vapours to turn into water. "They judge your voice- a river of flowing words and ideas. They care about the fluidity, the tone, the pitch, the way it tickles their ears. The actual message comes afterwards."

"If it sets you at ease, you have a very pleasant voice. I could listen to it for hours on end and never get bored of it," Karma cooed. Manami could tell he wasn't lying, but that wasn't the issue.

"And I'm always very nervous around strangers. That's why I stutter- and they never miss it."

"Then focus on your ideas. You'll be talking about chemistry- you know the world of science better than anyone. Blow them away with your knowledge," he claimed with no ounce of flattery. "Besides, me, Isogai and Kataoka will be there- just focus on one of us when you talk." He was soothing, reassuring, confident. "I can even hold your hand if you're scared~" he teased, reverting to his normal tone.

Manami's lips curled into a smile and she shot back, "I'll take you up on that offer."

Karma's chuckle was warm, much unlike the pitter-patter of rain outside. "You've gotten better at your comebacks," he pointed out. "I'm starting to feel threatened."

"You should," she hid the laughter in her voice, trying to sound menacing. "I'm aiming to render you speechless."

There was another laugh- quizzical- on the other side of the phone. It blended well with the sound of rain against the window, Manami thought. Not that she especially liked the rainy season, not by a long shot- but she loved the combination of Karma's deep purr with the water that drained from wet branches. It brought comfort in a way that made her fear thunder less, and energy that made her capable of spending the whole night talking to him- even if it wasn't advisable.

"Karma-kun?" she asked, more to hear his name and the humm he would give her in response than because she had anything to ask. He always made her feel better- safer. "Supposing that I will get through that meeting-"

"That's not a supposition, it's a fact," he interrupted her. 

She smiled softly. "I'll get through it if you're with me. But there will be times when you won't be there, so…" She couldn't finish the question. She was childish. Needy. Relying on him.

"Maybe we'll never have to find out," he said whimsically, but it wasn't reassuring. The scientist didn't like possibilities- she preferred certainties.

"Maybe," Manami repeated in a whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> So... that happened. I really liked Lea as a character, so I'm sorry for her, I really am. This chapter hurt to write- and to edit- but I swear it's neccessary. Besides, I've taken my revenge with Karmanami fluff, right? Right?!  
> Anyway, rest assured, next chapter is happier (I need to write fluff too, you know?) And it features Kanzaki, Sugino, a very worried Nagisa and the prankster Karma. Possibly Megu, too- haven't decided whether to keep her for chap 10 just yet.  
> What did you guys think? As always, comments and kudos keep me alive (I am a needy person who feeds off love). Thank you for all your positive messages, as always!  
> See you next time and Happy New Year!


	9. Endpoint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the end." ~C.S.Lewis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: The endpoint is when a titration is stopped, typically because an indicator has changed color. The endpoint need not be the same as the equivalence point of a titration. Usually, the pH or the E of the system is measured for the moment of equivalence, and the indicator is chosen accordingly, so that the error is as small as possible.

Kanzaki Yukiko was patient. She was a high-class girl, brought up in a Japanese styled home with a good family and promising prospects. Her figure was beautiful with an elegance that made any man turn his head after her. Her personality didn’t lack the same beauty, either.

Or at least that’s what her parents seemed to have told the other party when they arranged her omiai. Without inquiring about her opinion beforehand. Without even bothering to inform her more than 24 hours before.

Kanzaki’s  _ elegant  _ personality leaked through as she threw her phone back in her purse and stole a glance at the clock. She bit her lower lip, feeling guilty about what she was about to do- the overflowing rage within her washed away the mild feeling soon, though, and she closed the entrance door without a second thought. She gritted her teeth as she locked her apartment and rushed down the stairs of her complex two at a time, sprinting for the metro station.

What she was about to do was selfish, and reckless, and against her family, and against her better judgement. But Kanzaki was tired of being confined by her last name.

So Yukiko followed her heart as she got onto the train heading for the airport, and she regretted nothing.

***

Maybe she regretted one thing.

She should have asked for more than just the flight number, because Narita airport was huge, and she only had 20 minutes until he landed. If she wouldn’t have been so caught up in trying to follow the signs around her, she may have found her situation amusing- most people came to the airport to leave. She came here to find the only person next to which she felt at home. 

As she checked the timetable for arrivals and navigated through the crowded airport towards Terminal 2, Yukiko tried her hardest not to imagine the face Sugino would make when he saw her there. She also tried not to think about how she’d explain her presence. It wasn’t an easy task.

For a moment, she stopped in the middle of the airport, ignoring the people that made their way past her, the sound trollers rolling on the ground and rushed steps and curses muttered for no one to hear, and thought that maybe she should just go home. That maybe her presence there was unwanted, just as it was in the Kanzaki household right now. After all, who wanted a woman that ran away from her omiai to see the man she didn’t have the courage to confess to?

It wasn’t about courage, she tried telling herself. It was about being an obstacle in Sugino’s path towards becoming one of Japan’s best baseball players.

But then his flustered face popped into her mind, and the way he treated her like no leader of a pharmaceutics company ever would, and the way he didn’t look weirded out at all when she claimed victory after victory at the arcade, but instead admired her for it. 

Yukiko ran for Terminal 2 like her life depended on it.

She made it there 10 minutes after the plane had already landed, and she prayed to whatever God still listened to her to make the luggage arrive late.

There was a crowd of people pouring out the automatic doors, but she was never worried she wouldn’t see him in the sea of unknown faces. There was something about Sugino that stood out, or maybe something about Yukiko herself that made her recognise him anywhere.

When the doors opened again, a new wave of people made their way through the gates. She held her breath, waiting for Sugino.

She first saw his haircut, and then his eyes. And then she remembered how much her older brother loved Sugino’s pitching style- he was a pretty dedicated fan- and how he’d always tell her about “your former classmate who has a flock of girls chasing after him” and her heart would tighten; her dad’s categorical voice when he announced her about the omiai rang loud and clear in her ears; she remembered journalists fawning over Sugino’s newest move and his popularity; she recalled her bad luck with men. 

Kanzaki took a step forward. And then another. And then she jabbed unknown people in the ribs with her  _ beautiful elegance _ to carve a path against the flow of the crowd and out of her comfort zone.

He caught sight of her and blinked. And then he rubbed his eyes in disbelief. And then he was also walking towards her.

She heard a small voice in her head whispering  _ ‘What about his career?’ _ , but was quickly shushed by a louder, much stricter and more confident voice that yelled,  _ Stop making excuses for yourself. _

She should have said “Welcome home” or “I’ve missed you”. She didn’t.

Instead, Kanzaki pulled down on Sugino’s jacket and raised herself on her tiptoes, cutting off his “Hello” with a kiss.

***

“No way! Kanzaki did that?”

“That’s what Sugino told me.”

“Are you sure he wasn’t hallucinating?” Karma asked with a heartfelt laugh. He had spat some of his cappuccino on the table, but the story was so engrossing he couldn’t care less about tidying.

“He thought so too, at first. He’s meeting her family tomorrow, though, so I think he was wide awake,” Nagisa answered, wiping Karma’s mess with a napkin.

Karma whistled appreciatively. “That Kanzaki… she graduated from being a fry.” It sounded like a praise, which was unusual for Karma.

“So does this help you with your experiment?” Nagisa inquired as he crumpled the napkin in a ball and aimed at the bin.

“Only if Sugino also stops being a fry.” Nagisa’s small victory smile as the napkin landed in the bin was replaced by a confused frown at Karma’s wording choice. “You see,” Karma explained, “there’s no merit to gain unless Sugino himself also changes. Kanzaki did something unusual- that’s what makes her grow. Sugino needs to step outside his comfort zone if he wants to ascend to the real of humans, too.”

“Or the results won’t be conclusive?”

“Something like that,” Karma hummed. “The thing is, my theory seems to be widely accepted as true- even if I found no record of anybody validating it with an experiment, which Okuda-san tells me makes any theory just that-  _ a theory _ .” Nagisa doubted Karma’s theory obied scientific rules, but he didn’t argue with his friend. The way the redhead stared at the centre of the table as if looking through it, at the molecules that made up the wood and trying to rearrange them into something majestic made Nagisa realise just how serious he was.

“The other reason why people make experiments,” Karma continued, “is that they always come with side results. In my case, I discovered that you can’t be changed by human interaction if you’re passive. The ‘I don’t know’s and ‘maybe’s don’t help.”

“So you’re saying you need to take steps alone or it’s meaningless?” Karma nodded. “Seems like an obvious conclusion to me.”

“Really?” Karma fixed him with a piercing look, determined to find out the truth. “And what have you done to upgrade yourself?”

“Excuse me?” Nagisa asked, unable to tear his eyes from Karma’s.

“I’m asking you when was the last time you did anything to change yourself. Something  _ significant _ ,” he stressed.

Nagisa opened his mouth to answer, but found no words rolling off his tongue. Surely, there must have been something that he had done. He had entered a college of his own choice, had he not? But then again, defying of his mother was something he dealt with in middle school, with Korosensei’s assistance. Almost five years had passed- five years and Nagisa hadn’t changed.

“I thought so,” Karma said, drawing Nagisa’s attention back to him. The bluehead expected him to be smirking devilishly or to have any sort of reaction. His prediction wasn’t accurate- Karma’s face was unreadable, frozen in time on an expression that let nothing leak.

Nagisa feared to ask the question that tickled his tongue- the one that Karma must have had no answer to. He did anyway. “And you- are you still a fry?”

Karma tapped his finger slowly on the strawberry milkshake- not a drink to have in the middle of October, and yet a drink that didn’t seem to be seasonal in Karma’s book. He didn’t seem to go after the same seasons as everybody else, anyway- he behaved as dictated by the seasons of his moods, which were still partially a mystery to Nagisa. There was the “planning season”, the “pranking season” and the “taking-picture-of-the-results season”, and then there was the murky in-between that was neither serious nor depressed.

When Karma answered, it was obvious to Nagisa he was in the murky season. “I’d say I’m at least a hamburger,” Karma hummed, but there was no pun. “I think my reactions are interesting enough to catalogue me as meet. Objectively speaking, of course,” he added and a hint of a smile lit up his playful eyes.

Nagisa let out a relieved breath and said in what he hope to be an easygoing tone, “Well lucky you, I’m still a fry.” He couldn’t help but hear the sorrowful undertones in his own voice, laced with self-irony.

Karma offered him a genuine, if small, smile and got up. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have to pick Okuda-san off from the train station.”

“For the sake of the experiment?” Nagisa teased.

He didn’t expect Karma to narrow his eyes- not at him, but more so at a speck of dust on his coat. He snapped out of it quickly and raised a smirk, “Always for science, Nagisa.”

***

Nagisa shivered when a gust of wind brushed his twin pigtails from beneath the grip of his scarf. The conversation he had with Karma was still weighing heavy on his shoulders as he walked through the crowded streets. Why did Tokyo always have to be crowded? Couldn’t nature read his mind and accommodate an empty street to reflect the loneliness he felt?

But then again, the people rushing past him, brushing their coats against his every now and then were probably a better metaphor for his state of mind. You can only feel lonely when you’re surrounded by people- by _ fries _ , he corrected himself.

He probably would have missed _ it _ if he hadn’t looked up, wondering how many of those that passed him were fries. Right across the street from him was his chance of upgrading himself.

The pros and cons of his decision ran through his brain as he walked towards the nearest road cross. It was probably long overdue for him to cut his hair, but there was a certain emotional baggage his current style carried. It connected him to his mother, now much changed, but still making efforts to accept his independence. It also prodded at his memories of class 3E and Korosensei, but he had many other reminders of them. Above all else it probably associated him with Kayano and the beginning of their relationship.

Kayano was now Akari, he reminded himself as he stepped in the hairdressing salon.

***

The Student Council President schooled her features to remain neutral as she passed a group of girls muttering and throwing her unpleasant looks. She couldn’t fidget in front of them- not when she was representing her own University. Kataoka willed her ears not to pick up the gist of their conversation, instead letting it rot in some filthy corner. She wondered if Isogai also went through that when he visited her college, though it was a well-known fact that his fanclub was the more aggressive and possessive one. He didn’t take any pride in that.

It was a relief that most of the Law Faculty members were boys, and they all looked up to Isogai, no matter the grade. Katoka found it funny how Isogai’s presesence was enough to make even upperclassmen bow on the hallways, and he never ceased to sigh when she pointed it out with a snicker. 

From the corner of her eye, Katoka caught two Social Studies students greeting her. She waved her hand politely in return, happy to have something other than the fangirls’ chitter-chatter to pay attention to. When the two proceeded to bow, Kataoka spun on her heels, connecting the dots with ease.

“Kataoka!” Isogai called out to her, running ahead of two students that were accompanying him. Katoka didn’t get to make out their faces before his shirt blurred her vision as he wrapped his hands around the small of her back and brought her in a warm embrace. Her nerves calmed as soon as she breathed in the fresh smell of his detergent and dug her nails into his back, humming in response to his enthusiastic hello.

“Love doves,” Karma’s unmistakable teasing voice reached Kataoka in her bubble of happiness, but she didn’t mind it. If anything, his delivery was laced with a warmth Kataoka had never heard from him before.

Isogai seemed to have noticed too, because he let go of her, opting to intertwine his fingers with hers instead and said, “How was I supposed to greet my girlfriend?”

Four months and Katoka was still not used to hearing others refer to her as such. Isogai also needed time to state their relationship status out loud without blushing, but he managed it faster than her. She squeezed his hand back and peeked from behind him to see who was with Karma.

“I think it’s quite sweet,” Okuda uttered, offering the couple a smile even sweeter than their embrace. Katoka’s eyes shifted from Karma to Okuda and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth in return. Okuda’s poisonously sweet voice might have had something to do with Karma’s warmth.

“Okuda-chan! Always a pleasure seeing you,” she said sincerely in return.

“Should I take that as an offense?” Karma joked.

Kataoka flashed him an apologetic look. “It is a pleasure to see you too, Karma.”

“Much better,” he responded with a detached smirk before nudging Isogai to go ahead. “Come on, Pres, you need to be punctual if you want us to keep looking up to you.”

Isogai turned around and rolled his eyes so only Kataoka could see him. She smiled return, shifting the discussion towards their upcoming meeting. “Okuda-chan, how’s the project going?”

“Pretty good. My team is excited. And,” she locked eyes with Karma, who raised a grin in return, “we have quite a surprise in store.”

“Oh?” Isogai asked, whipping his head around to them as they stopped in front of the council room. “I never heard about this.” He gave Karma with a half-amused-half-accusatory look.

“That’s what  _ surprise _ means,” Karma said with second-nature friskiness.

Isogai just sighed and let go of Kataoka’s hand to hold out the door for her. As soon as she stepped in and several pairs of eyes landed on her, she slipped into her role as moderator for the meeting.

She expected everyone to quiet down when Isogai sat next to her. Her eyes widened in shock when the opposite happened- voices grew louder and uncertain. A chuckle escaped someone and a snort echoed in the room. Whispers buzzed in the tall room, and someone even gasped.

Intrigued, to say the least, although bothered would have also described her mood quite well, she followed the students’ look towards their source of interest- Karma. It would have been more accurate to say Karma pulling Okuda’s chair for her, but Karma nonetheless.

Isogai cleared his voice twice before the room offered him what Kataoka couldn’t classify as their undivided attention, but as close to it as the situation allowed for. From time to time, one of them would glance in Karma and Okuda’s direction, but they had the decency to be quiet.

***

“There’s one last thing,” Isogai noted, his voice loud enough to cover the team’s comments, yawns and the screeching of chairs against the floor. Tired and bored eyes looked up to him and he smiled encouragingly. “Something to motivate you,” he said mysteriously.

“Oh?” Tanaka asked, raising his eyebrows. Isogai was secretly grateful for his ability to remain in high spirits after two hours of listening to plans upon plans- it somehow motivated the President to stay in character.

“You know we conduct a survey each year,” Isogai said. Some nodded, others just tapped their fingers on the table impatiently. “This year, we have decided to ask for the public’s opinion on the best stand, as well. And there’s a prize for the lucky team,” he added with a wink, suddenly feeling the intent stare of more than 20 people on him.

“That’s futile,” a voice spoke up from the crowd with immeasurable confidence. “You already know I’m going to win.”

Isogai exchanged a short look with an annoyed Kataoka and kept in a sigh, willing his features into a perfect mask. He should have foreseen it- Daisuke just  _ had  _ to show his unpaired ego whenever he had the chance. Even more so if Karma was in the room. Sometimes, Isogai wondered if his friend’s cocky attitude attracted people like Asano and Daisuke the way milk attracted flies.

Before Isogai could react, Okuda surprised everyone by speaking for the first time since her turn, “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

The President needed to suppress a smile as he watched the scientist stand from her chair to scrutinise the man sitting a few chairs across from her. He should have expected this, too- Okuda was straightforward. And she trusted Karma more than anyone else Isogai knew.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Daisuke asked, no more stunned than if a fly had decided to sit on his sandwich, but just as irked.

Okuda breathed in deeply. “It means everybody here is going to put up a fight. And that we are also going to do our best for that spot!” She looked to Karma for support. He had been watching her with an unreadable expression, but his eyes glinted when they locked on hers. 

Isogai wondered if he should intervene before Karma got into the fray. He was about to open his mouth when Kataoka prevented him by placing a hand on his arm, as if telling him  _ They can handle it. _ And she as probably right- they were all assassins, after all.

Daisuke snorted at Okuda, “Let’s see you try.”

It was then that Karma decided to stand up, his smirk even more imposing than his height. “Oh, you won’t have enough time to  _ see _ it coming,” he said with a look so cold it seeped into everyone’s bones. Isogai noticed Daisuke’s failed attempt at hiding his shiver.

“We’ll do our best, too,” Tanaka announced, dragging his partner up with him.

The last thing Isogai expected was for every team in the room to get up and declare their ambition. He exchanged a confused look with Kataoka, who just shrugged as if saying that was the force Tanaka’s positivity had. Isogai doubted the first year had the biggest impact, though- his eyes fixed on Okuda, who was fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. An assassination partner fit for Karma.

“Well, we are glad to see you so motivated,” Kataoka said in a business tone, letting them know the meeting was over. Whereas not even five minutes ago everybody wanted to leave, they weren’t even budging now. 

The atmosphere was heavy with the staring showdown between Karma and Daisuke, and Isogai noticed how Karma’s hand was protectively placed on Okuda’s back, holding her close. He bit back a smile and glanced at Kataoka, who had followed his look and was now fighting back a grin.

“Well then, if you’ll excuse us,” Karma reverted back to his normally playful tone all of a sudden. As if on cue, the tension in the room evaporated. “Okuda-san has a train to catch. Good luck, everybody~”

And with that, he ushered Okuda out of the room and closed the door to a puzzled Daisuke and a couple of Student Council Presidents who were trying their best not to become a giggling mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again guys! I hope 2018 is a good year for you!  
> Anyway here we are, with a new chapter. This one has let a lot of loose ends that will be tied next chapter, such as the SugiZaki part, Nagisa's hair cutting decision and of course, Karmanami! I know this had neither Karma's nor Manami's pov, but they'll be back next chapter. The sugizaki part was just screamng at me to write it after I've postponed it for so long, and Kataoka is a woman I highly respect, so there. (Besides, IsoMegu!)  
> Anyway, hoping you enjoyed this~ I've been asked to write protective Karma a few times. This isn't much, but here you go. For the most part, Okuda can hold her own and Karma's well aware of that, but he's still an (over)protective boyfriend. Tell me what you think and till chapter 10!


	10. Equivalence Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The equivalence point is when the number of moles of titrant and the number of moles of a solution of unknown concentration find themselves in a stoechiometric raport or, in other words, when the reaction is over. It does not necessarily overlap with the endpoint of a titration.

“So, Okuda-san, we still have two hours until your train leaves. What do you want to do?” Karma asked. He hadn’t brought up the incident back in the conference room yet, but he hadn’t let go of her until they left the university grounds either, so Manami could tell it weighed on his mind.

She still fidgeted over it, too- what she did put a lot of pressure on their team, but what worried her most was the trouble that annoying fellow was going to bring Karma. She was too busy playing with the ends of her jacket hood to notice Karma stealing a sideways glance at her.

“Okuda-san,” he said again, this time much closer to her ear. His breath tickled her skin and Manami’s head jerked into his direction. His golden eyes and red hair accaparated her whole vision field, traping her look into his steady gaze. She stilled under the calm and confidence in his eyes, forgetting how to breathe altogether, her whole being focused on the intensity of his stare and their almost touching noses.

“Let’s go to a cafe.” It didn’t sound like a suggestion, but Manami wouldn’t have refused either way. Her brain was too preoccupied with processing his scent to give him a proper answer. She had spent so much time with him, yet never so close that she could smell him without sniffing - it was sweet and fresh at the same time, a mystery as hard to crack as Karma himself.

The meeting suddenly seemed very far away.

He straightened up, but Manami’s eyes remained on him. She felt an electric spark pulse through her when the tips of their fingers touched, and the tension she hadn’t realised accumulated in her shoulders melted away as his hand cupped hers.

“Don’t mind Daisuke, he’s always a jerk,” Karma told her. His eyes were tracking the outline of the skyscrapers, lost somewhere beyond the horizon. If Manami hadn’t known any better, she would have sworn that his cheeks coloured rose, and she gave his hand a shy squeeze. It was a tad bit awkward, but he was obviously trying to make her feel better just like she had when he first met her team.

“But we made it through,” she said, her voice urging Karma to look at her. “Because I had Karma-kun with me,” she added, imprisoning his eyes in hers.

“No, you would have made it anyway,” he told her and his mouth curled into a smile. “Being together just makes it more enjoyable,” he said and wove his fingers tightly with hers. She mirrored the smile, and hoped to never have to let go of his hand.

Postponing the inevitable forever became a favourite pastime of theirs without either of them noticing- or agreeing to it.

“It’s strange,” she mused. “I feel like there’s nothing I can’t do if I’m with you.”

“You say that because the meeting is over. Shall I remind you how confidenceless you were before?” She pouted at his smirk, but acknowledged the truth in his words nonetheless. “That’s why, Okuda-san, you should trust yourself more. You stood up for both of us back there.”

“Because I knew you had my back.”

“I’ll always have your back. Even when I’m not physically there.”

Hope lit up her eyes and she searched his face to check the truth behind his words. _Always_ sounded better than _maybe_. “Is that a promise?”

“It is,” he said and tugged on her hand to bring her closer. “And it’s as true as the fact that I’ll take you to the place that serves the best honeycomb toffee you have ever tried.” Karma grinned widely and she mirrored him again, ignoring the cold that bit away at her bare teeth.

Perhaps they could even go against nature if they were together.

* * *

Akari called back two hours after Nagisa had called. He was correcting Sakura’s homework when the phone buzzed. He answered immediately.

“I’m sorry, Nagisa, I was on the set,” she said in one breath, and Nagisa quirked an eyebrow. It was Saturday- he thought she had the day off.

“Are you overworking yourself again?” he asked with genuine concern.

“Not at all!” The wide smile broke her phrase into inconsistent gushing. “I’ve got a role in a movie! And they managed to get the crowded temple in Kyoto for us this weekend!” Nagisa found it very hard not to give in to the smile that was playing around his lips because of Akari’s contagious excitement.

“So you’ll be working throughout the weekend?”

“Yes, but I have the next one free, so I was thinking we can go to Manami-chan’s fair. If you want to go with me, that is. Oh and if you’re free of course, but I-”

“I’d love to,” Nagisa assured her and heard her relieved sigh on the other end of the call. She sounded healthy and enthusiastic, and Nagisa’s worry evaporated into happiness for his friend. This could well be her lucky break, and she more than deserved it. He also knew that people could work more when they did something they loved without their body being taxed by the constant pressure.

“Then we’ll go on Saturday?” Akari asked with the same enthusiasm.

“Sure. I have classes in the morning, but I’m free after 2. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes~” she singsonged. Nagisa had actually called to tell her about the haircut, but something in her voice made him want to surprise her on Saturday.

“So, what role is it?”

“Oh Nagisa, you won’t believe it! It’s the role of a spy!” She chuckled and he laughed, cushioning his chin on his palm and dropping the red pen to give her his undivided attention. As she launched into a detailed description of the plot, he stopped fighting the smile After all, Akari was one of the only persons who could put it there.

* * *

“You deserve some kind of award, Karma-kun,” Okuda said. The toffee on her plate was halfway devoured and the smile on her face grew wider with every new bite. Karma wanted to say that she was the one who deserved an award for how much her attitude could influence his mood, but he bit his tongue. “How did you even discover this place?” she asked, looking around the shop.

“One day of skipping classes and wandering around the city pays off,” Karma answered with a smirk. Okuda shot him a look of disapproval. “It’s not my fault classes are boring,” he defended himself and she rolled her eyes. “Besides, my grades are perfect,” he grinned again.

Okuda let out a small sigh and squared her shoulders. “Still, Karma-kun, you shouldn’t skip class. It affects your record.”

“What fun is a straight record?” he pouted, licking his lips. The aftertaste of cream and strawberries was strong. “Besides, sitting through class means more annoying Daisuke,” he lamented and watched her reaction from the corner of his eyes.

She flinched and stammered, barely above a whisper, “Well, he is a jerk.”

“So Okuda-san is with me on this one?”

She squinted at him, her brow furrowing as she scrutinised Karma. He allowed her to search for whatever it was that intrigued her so much in his features, staring at her in return: the way she toyed with her spoon; the way her hands were rough from the lab hours and papers, and yet softened whenever he touched them; her frankness that still caught him off guard. There was something bittersweet about taking her in when their time together was limited- it was a one in a lifetime opportunity that Karma wished to become a daily habit.  
A sly smile lazily curled on Karma’s lips and the creases on her forehead simultaneously dissolved. “I’m with you on this one.”

“Only on this one?” Karma’s mouth acted before his brain could process what he said. Luckily, it was barely more than an incoherent mumble.

“Did you say something?”

“No,” he said and stuffed his mouth with dessert, trying to fool his brain with the sweetness and to shush the voice that was getting louder and louder in his head. _Say you’ll be with me on every one of my adventures. Embark on this journey with me._

* * *

Sugino ran a hand through his hair and checked his bangs in the window, ignoring the city of Kunugigaoka that extended beyond the bus. He doubted this was the time to admire the city of his childhood- and he could barely think of anything but meeting his girlfriend’s parents. If not for the word parents in that phrase, he would have been giddy to call Kanzaki his girlfriend. The parental figures were scary enough to dampen that sweet idea, though.

Sugino was so deep in thought that he didn’t even hear Kanzaki the first time. “Sugino-kun? It’s not too late to turn back, you know?”

“No way.” He shook his head categorically, rejecting her suggestion. “We’re in this together from now on.”

Kanzaki smiled and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. Sugino felt an electric shiver crawl its way through his spine. He brushed the fear off, steeling himself for the upcoming dinner. After the shock of Kanzaki kissing him at the airport passed- though he sometimes still wondered if it wasn’t only a dream- she told him what had happened.

Her father had apparently arranged a marriage interview with the head of some pharmaceutics company, without bothering to inform his daughter about it beforehand. She only found out on the day itself- the same day when Sugino returned from his practice match in Okinawa. Needless to say, Kanzaki wasn’t present at the omiai- and neither party was pleased with that.

So here they were, meeting her father for the first time since the failed omiai. Sugino had never met the man beforehand and he had a very strong hunch this wasn’t the way to meet your possible in-laws. He could have been the president of Japan and he still wouldn’t have started with the right foot.

“He won’t eat you,” Kanzaki tried assuring him, doubtlessly feeling his shiver.

“You think?” Sugino mumbled, only half ironic.

“I’m really sorry, this is my mess.” She stared at the laces on her boots. “And I shouldn’t drag you with me.”

“Hey, I was the one who offered to come in the first place. I also need to take responsibility.”

“For my decisions?” Kanzaki questioned with a frown.

“For not confessing sooner.” A trail of rose adorned Kanzaki’s cheeks, but she was nowhere near as flushed as Sugino.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

***

Yukiko breathed in and knocked on the door. “Huuuuuuuge,” she heard Sugino whistle from besides her, tightening the grasp he had on her hand. She hoped the size of her home wouldn’t put even more pressure on him- his forced calmness told her otherwise.

The door creaked open and they both jerked to position, Sugino even stiffer than before- just a bit more and he’d turn into a rock, Yukiko noticed as she spared him a sideways glance and a new reassuring squeeze. Any tighter and their hands would morfe into one, she also noted.

“Good evening, sir!” Sugino said before the door was even fully opened and bowed deeply. Kanzaki followed his bow, though much lower, and peeked at her father from behind her bangs. She hadn’t expected him to open the door- that was a privilege he reserved for the important people stepping into their house.

“Oh my, don’t stand there, come in,” Yukiko heard her mother say. She straightened herself and stepped in, dragging Sugino with her.

“This is not much, but I hope you’ll like it,” Sugino said and presented her mother with a small packet.

“How nice! You shouldn’t have!” she politely exclaimed and then moved to hug her daughter. “A real gentleman,” she whispered so only she could hear. “He might stand a chance, although your father is very angry.”

Yukiko gulped and nodded into the hug. Her mother always had her children’s back, but she respected the decisions her husband made nonetheless.

“This-” Yukiko pointed to Sugino, who was seemingly engaged in a staring competition with her father- and shrinking into himself as the seconds passed“-is my boyfriend, Sugino Tomohito.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” the boy bowed again, as if on cue. Her father said nothing.

“Well come on in, Yukiko, Sugino-kun! Dinner is almost ready,” her mother continued in her trained polite tone. It was the same voice Kanzaki usually used- the one that pleased her father’s ears.

“Is Aki-nii home?” Yukiko asked with a glimmer of hope. Her brother had the uncanny ability of brightening any situation- and he loved Sugino to boot.

“Not yet,” her mother answered, leading the way into the dining room. Yukiko felt her heart sink- she had been holding onto her brother’s presence as a lifevest. She squared her shoulders and brushed off the uncomfortable feeling- this was something she had to do on her own.

“He’s in court,” Kanzaki’s father spoke up for the first time and he met her look with an icy glare.

“Should I help with the food?” Sugino offered, reading the mood in the room.

“That’d be wonderful,” her mother agreed immediately and they disappeared into the kitchen, leaving father and daughter alone.

Kanzaki pondered sitting down at her usual spot, a chair away from her father, but she eventually sat in her brother’s, directly to her father’s left. She laced her fingers together under the table and looked at him, wondering if she should start by apologising or listen to his admonishing.

She was about to break the tensed silence when her father said, “The way you acted was unexpected, Yukiko.” His voice was harsh, but not cutting through her- it was laced with more disappointment then spite. “What was your reasoning?”

There wasn’t reasoning, but rather a gut feeling. “I thought marriage should be a choice, not an obligation.”

“The fact that you have to make a choice is an obligation in itself,” her father said with a hint of remorse, and Kanzaki couldn’t help the tug of her heart at the resigned tone. She expected more of a monologue than a confession. Maybe this could work out peacefully. “Me and your mother have an arranged marriage and it turned out just fine.”

Before she could humbly say, “I know, Father.” he continued. “In addition, you need to marry someone whose name you can take, without feeling ashamed you let go of the Kanzaki name.” Kanzaki gritted her teeth- was this about his pride or her future? No, it was about carrying his pride into her future.

Before he could say anything about “healthy grandchildren to inherit the law firm”, Yukiko spoke up, “Is this about carrying the weight of my choices in my stead? Or is this about finding a partner that is worthy of the Kanzaki family?” Despite her best attempt to keep her voice steady and emotionless, she hissed the last part. Perhaps she was lucky to be a girl- she was bound to change her family later.

“This is a choice that doesn’t only affect you, Yukiko.” He reverted to the strong tone so fast that Kanzaki thought the earlier undertones in his voice must have been an illusion.

“Of course not. It affects your reputation.” Her common sense issued danger signals, but she drove by them.

“Watch your tone,” her father snarled. “You have a reputation too- or would you rather run away from home and your problems like you ran from your omiai?”

“I’d rather discuss this! And I’d rather you discussed it with me too!” she stood up, clenching the table so tight her knuckles turned white. Where was the peaceful solution hidden? “I am perfectly aware that carrying the Kanzaki name comes with responsibilities, but I’m also Yukiko- your daughter who would like to talk to you. Your daughter who was afraid to bring her boyfriend here because you jump to conclusions before you even discuss things with me.”

“And I am your father, who has to make sure you don’t repeat mistakes-”

“No, Father!” she interrupted him. “You’re supposed to watch over me while I make my own mistakes!” Her voice was nowhere near calm now- it was hurt and broke near the end, as she choked on her own words. Maybe she never would have made those mistakes if it weren’t for her father.

“Does anybody want dinner?” her mother suddenly stepped in and Yukiko tore her eyes from her father to rest them on Sugino. There was something that urged her to calm down in the way he pinned her with his look. She breathed in deeply, then exhaled a bit of her stress away. She hadn’t meant to raise her voice, but her instincts took over, and she realised she had slipped in her gamer- no, her assassin persona.

She didn’t meet her father’s look as she sat back on the seat to his left and unfolded the napkin in her lap. “Thank you,” she said when Sugino placed the plate in front of her. It wasn’t only the food she was thankful for.

“So, Sugino-san,” her father cleared his throat and picked up his chopsticks, “how did you meet Yukiko?”

“We were classmates in middle school, Sir,” he responded, and it was as if all of his prior nervousness had vanished. Yukiko stole a glance at him, and noticed how his features were schooled into a perfect mask, but under the table, his left hand was squeezed into a tight fist, tugging at his pants. The woman bit back a small smile.

“And yet you only started going out recently?” her father questioned. From the displeased tone of his voice, this was going to be a true interrogation- what Yukiko feared the most.

“If I have to be honest, Sir, I’ve liked Kanzaki-san ever since back then,” Sugino said with a nervous laughter.

“But you were too cowardly to ask her out?” her father said. She shot him a displeased look, but he didn’t seem to intercept it.

“I’m not proud to admit it, but yes. Kanzaki-san has always been ahead of me, and I didn’t want to confess while I wasn’t worthy of being her boyfriend.” Yukiko looked at him, surprised- she didn’t know that. To her, it was Sugino that, in his passion and freedom, was notches above her.

“And what makes you think you are worthy now?” The questions came like bullets, one after the other. Yukiko held her breath as she waited for Sugino to dodge this one, as well.

“Well, being in the public eye puts quite some restraints on what you do, but I’ve managed to withstand the stress quite well until now. My career also allowed me to realise that what I want to achieve is meaningless until I share it with somebody- and that’s why I think I can properly date Kanzaki-san now.”

Sugino turned to let Yukiko see that he mirrored her soft smile. She realised he had been so concerned with her situation that he never told her any of this- and she never told him that she held off because of his career, either.

Her father was frowning when he began talking again, “When you say the public eye, what exactly do you-”

“I’m home~” a masculine voice interrupted them. Shortly thereafter, the head of its possessor popped through the door and his face broke into a delighted smile, ignoring the displeased look on his father’s face. “Ah, Yuki-chan, you’re home! It’s been a while.”

“Has been indeed, Aki-nii. Won’t you join us?”

“Sure. I heard we had a guest tonight so I bought some pastries.” His grin widened and he returned to the hall to shrug his coat off.

Sugino’s head followed the direction of his “savior”’s voice, gladly indulging himself this small distraction. His fist relaxed, but his hand remained clawed into the fabric of his pants. Yukiko was equally as thankful for the kind smile her brother flashed her as sat down in her usual place, not questioning the switch. The calm he brought in the middle of the storm didn’t last long, because the seating switch also meant that her brother sat across from Sugino, and his jaw didn’t fail to drop even lower that Yukiko thought was humanly possible without breaking it.

“Aki-nii, please don’t freak-”

“Sugino Tomohito is at our table! No way! I must be dreaming! You’re the real deal?!” He didn’t give Sugino any time to actually react at any of the statements, yet he did male time to accompany his yelps by clapping his hands on the table, as if to prove the excitement was genuine.

Sugino whipped his head to Yukiko, who smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry about him, I told you he’s a fan.”

“I’m not just _a fan_ , I am a _huge fan_!” Akihito stressed. “So Yuki-chan wasn’t lying- she really does know you!”

“Akihito, what’s with the fuss?” their father asked, puzzled by the situation and trying to regain his monopole over it.

“Ah, Father, you should watch something other than the news every now and then!” Akihito was the only one in their family who reproached something to their father, even if half-jokingly. “Although I think Sugino-san was also on the news?”

Sugino scratched the back of his neck. The attention was back on him again, and he shifted under the stern, expectant gazes. “It was just an interview.”

“Either way, he’s Japan’s top rising baseball star!” Akihito told his father, emphasising his words with grand hand gestures. “Most trainers say he’ll be making the cut for the national team before he finishes college! By the way, is that true?” Akihito whipped his head back to his subject of interest.

“I certainly hope so, but I still can’t match the players there. My pitches need more speed,” Sugino admitted, rolling his wrist thoughtfully.

“But that curve you give the ball more than makes up for it! I mean damn, it’s almost inhuman!”

Sugino cracked a smile. “My first trainer was pretty inhuman,” Sugino admitted and Yukiko chuckled. Korosensei would have been so proud of them, standing up for each other- and ticking one of the couples he so much wanted to see.

“But how come you’re in our house? Wait, maybe I should ask for an autograph first!” Akihito scrambled to his feet and ran upstairs before Sugino could react, leaving him alone with their parents again. Yukiko kept in a sigh- couldn’t her hot-headed brother wait a bit more for that autograph?

“You’re a baseball player?” Kanzaki’s father asked once he grasped the reigns of the situation again. “Doesn’t that mean you’re often away?”

“Pretty much. We have practice matches almost every weekend, and some of them are outside Tokyo."

“So then how do you expect to have time for your family? If you want to be with Yukiko, shouldn’t you give up baseball?”

“Father!” Yukiko put both her hands on the table and watched the man in disbelief. He didn’t flinch under her shocked- almost outraged- look.

“With all due respect, Sir, I can’t give up baseball. It’s my life, and I love it as much as I love Kanzaki-san. Time proved that if I really put my mind and heart into something, I could do it- and I don’t want to believe there’s anybody else that can make Kanzaki-san happy, as much as I want to believe that there is a place for me in Japan’s team. There is no basis for my words save for my feelings, but I won’t give up either of those, no matter what it takes.”

Silence settled in the dining room as the words sunk in. Yukiko’s mother brought both of her hands to her mouth- doubtlessly, to hide a grin, the creases around her eyes betrayed her; her brother freezed on the foot of the stairs and her father simply stared at them both. Sugino’s face turned a few shades redder, and Kanazaki herself wasn’t missing a blush.

“I feel like I’ve just witnessed something amazing,” Akihiko whistled and traversed the distance between him and Sugino in the blink of an eye to pat the man’s back. “I like you,” he declared and moved his hand to Sugino’s head to ruffle his hair. “That mindset is fit for a winner. Wouldn’t you agree, father?”

Words failed to express how much gratitude Yukiko felt for her brother. She turned her hopeful eyes to her dad, who pondered the situation for a while longer. “He passes,” he sighed in the end.

“Do you mean that, Sir?” Sugino asked with genuine emotion in his voice. When her father nodded gravely, Akihito messed with his bangs further.

“Now take good care of my sister, you hear?”

“Roger!” Sugino said with a grin Yukiko hadn’t seen on his face inreal lufe, but only on the TV, when he won a match.

***

“He’s a wonderful young man!” her mother excitedly praised Sugino, who was being monopolised by Akihito for a session of gushing over baseball.

“If only dad thought so too,” she sighed and handed her mother another dish to be dried off.

“Yukiko!” her father chose that exact moment to call.

“Guess I’ll find out,” she mumbled. Her mother gave her an encouraging smile and Yukiko turned off the tap and let the dishes rest, wiping her hands dry. She peeked into the dining room, where her father was reading the newspaper quietly,not having left his chair .

“Sit down,” he instructed her and folded his newspaper back. Yukiko obeyed, lacing her fingers together in her lap.

“Father, I’m sorry,” she blurted out.  
“I’m sorry too.” Yukiko’s head shot back up to him with an incredulous look. “You see, I’ve been worried- your mother brought it to my attention that you have the worst luck with men. But this Sugino kid seems to treasure you, so-”

“Thank you, Father.” Yukiko placed a hand over his gently, meeting his eyes with a determined and fond look of her own.

If not for her father, she may not have made certain mistakes. And maybe she wouldn’t have been with Sugino now. Her mother was right- all things balanced each other out, a good deed for a bad one, until the world was in perfect balance.

* * *

“You really said that?” Karma asked his friend, sliding the phone into his other hand to protect himself from frostbite.

“Don’t make me repeat it, it’s embarrassing!” Sugino grumbled, but Karma only laughed.

“It’s not funny!” the former-fry admonished the prankster, but without meaning it- Karma’s laugh was nothing if not genuine.

“You’re amazing, Sugino,” Karma wholeheartedly said.

“You too, Karma.”

No, Karma pondered, Sugino had surpassed him by standing up like that for himself. He was just like Manami when she didn’t allow him to wallow in self-depreciation. A question weighed on his mind as he ended the call and pressed the still warm phone against his chin.

_When will I ever be like that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> As promised, the chapter is up and it wraps up the lose ties in chapter 9... Mostly:)  
> My laptop cracked, so updates will be harder as I work on my tablet (and have another physics competition next weekend, then the speaking part of my german exam), so you'll have to excuse me. However, next chapter is definitely coming until the end of January, and it finally launches the fair arc and the meat of Manami's arc!  
> I hope you have enjoyed this chapter, too:) SugiZaki is a couple that I like and the dynamics of both Sugino and Kanzanki as individual characters are "human worthy", as Karma would put it. Also, I hope Kanzanki's family made sense. Her father was genuinely worried about her luck with men, and her brother is a super Sugino fan:) (and he will definitely speak about his declaration at his little sister's wedding)  
> As always, thank you! Your kind words keep me alive and kicking! I love you all so much for sticking with me!


	11. Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's so strange that automn is breathtakingly beautiful, yet everything is dying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A solution is a homogenous mixture of two or more compounds, where the particles are so small that they can only be seen with a really good microscope. Unlike a suspension, the particles don't settle out later-a solution can be found the same years later.
> 
> Quick heads-up that I don't usually do, but just like with chapter 8, you may want to have some nice calming musics in the back (personal rec being Honest by Thousand Foot Krutch, but your choice really). And off we go: welcome to Manami's arc!

"Substances?”

“Check.”

“Appropriate concentration and still working? Not oxidized by air, kept in good conditions and dark flasks?”

“Yes and yes,” Manami answered and ticked the boxes in her notepad. She was curled into herself, balancing the notebook on her knees. It was the third time that week that she was going through the requirements for the fair, and the pages of the notebook were starting to curl around the edges- where they weren’t already ripped off. “Structure-modeling kit?” she asked, glancing at Misaki, who only nodded in return.

“Tidy flasks and eprubetei?” Abe questioned. It was his small apartment that was now housing them, as the dorms didn’t allow boys and girls in the same room, and it felt like a secret base- Manami liked the fleeting idea, and decided to refer to it as such from there on.

“We’ve got them,” Karma assured him through the screen of the laptop. He was perched on the bed in his own room, a digent list in his hands and a merciless red pen ready to add or correct anything on it. Manami thought he looked a bit tired- but then again, maybe it was the glasses that made it seem so.

“I’ll double check with our labs that everything is in order,” he added. “Okuda-san gave the okay last time she visited.”

Manami nodded and ticked one more thing off her list, moving further. “Lab coats?”

“We each have ours. I managed to get 30 in children size,” Tooru said.

“That should suffice,” Karma rubbed his temples. “If they don’t, we can assume that the Structure Booth won’t need any lab coats and take more from there.” His eyes met Misaki’s for confirmation and the girl nodded.

“Okay, moving on. Protection glasses?”

“Positive. Same numbers.” Tooru was confident- she had always been a good organisator, Manami noticed as she ticked the box for the third time. The last project had been Tooru’s- a presentation for the first years on Organic research methods, especially in what concerns Food chemistry, and it was a loud success. She shook off the pressure that suddenly weighed on her shoulders.

“Okay. That leaves our part, Okuda-san.” Karma looked up from his papers and flashed her a grin.

“Do you have the script?” Manami spoke only to keep the nervousness from blooming any further, and bit her inner lip to snap out of the unnecessary feelings.

“Sent it back to Hazama yesterday with the changes I wanted to see. I’ll email it to you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Manami said and checked another box off the list.

“Do you guys need a hand? Science ethics seems like a stuffy domain.” Ishikawa quirked an eyebrow at Karma’s trademark smirk.

“It may be, but law is _my_ field. And if there's anyone that can make it into a story, that’s Hazama.”

“How did you get her to do it?” Manami’s curiosity piqued- the girl had an aura that kept Manami away during middle school. But if anyone could approach her and talk her into something, it was probably Karma.

“Oh, I’ve got my ways,” the redhead smirked devilishly. “And Terasaka still had some favours to pay me.”

“Please don’t blackmail him,” Manami asked in a assertive voice. She couldn't help but pity Terasaka- he had always been given orders, and Karma tended to have unrealistic- or rather, sadistic- preferences.

“That hurts, Okuda-san. I don’t resort to such petty tactics.” Something mischievous sparked in his eyes. “It was more like an order he couldn’t disobey.”

“You have some serious issues,” Tooru hissed at the screen. “How you got someone as pure as Manami-chan as your friend is an enigma to me.”

“It is to me, too,” Karma chuckled and took his glasses off, rubbing his eyes. Manami was about to tell him something- she wasn’t sure what, but his tone bothered her enough that she felt she had to speak up. His voice bit away at her with undertones that she could only describe as _sad_.

“Either way, that was it,” Karma spoke before she could object. “I’ll call again on Thursday to make sure everything’s okay on both parts, and then we’ll meet on Friday to set up the booths. Good work, everybody.” The melted gold of his eyes washed over each member of the team, and Manami knew he wouldn't say it out loud, but he looked proud of them.

“You did a fine work yourself,” Abe said appreciatively and nodded towards Karma. He tilted his head in return, almost unnoticeably.

“That wraps things up. Good night, everybody.”

“Night,” the team mused at the same time and Manami closed her laptop.

“This guy, he really doesn’t look like it, but he works hard, huh?” Tooru seemed mildly impressed- perhaps by the thick tomes that were piled around Karma, sprawling all over his bed, or by the way he wrote down every detail in an organised manner.

“He makes it look so easy, too,” Ishikawa added with newfound respect. From the whole team, he was the one that got along with Karma best, excluding Manami. The girl had a hunch their good relationship was heavily based on Karma’s sarcasm, which always made their energetic member snicker appreciatively. Some of Karma’s lines even rubbed off on him, which worried Tooru.

“Karma-kun is more than meets the eye,” Manami told them matter-of-factly. And he poured his soul in whatever he did, while keeping the blase facade.

***

Manami scooped the box of Erlenmeyer flasks and eprubetei in her hands and weavered under its weight, shifting from one leg to the other until she regained her balance. They smelled like acid and chrom- which meant they were thoroughly washed- and the strong scent burnt her lungs. Science was impactful- in more ways than one, Manami noted with a smile.  
She didn’t feel Karma’s cologne over the strong smell of the flasks, but she did feel the weight getting awfully lighter as he slipped the box out of her arms.

“I can handle it,” she assured him, but he just shrugged, nonchalant as ever. Manami knew there was no point in arguing with him- he always got things to go his way anyway. She just bent down to pick the much smaller box with thermometers and followed him into the courtyard.

Tokyo University was huge- and its inner court was no exception. Manami gulped, and tried not to let herself so easily intimidated by its sheer size, opting to ignore the more than big number of people that walked through it. She let her eyes search for her team instead, attempting to find their familiar faces in the ocean of unknown students.

Their booth was rather central- she didn’t know whether Isogai randomly assigned the places or if Karma pulled some strings, and she didn’t ask either. She was sure the placing wouldn’t make a difference- they weren’t hidden in the mountains anymore. She erased the thought, rinsing her brain with the smell of chrom and the unknown sight again.

Memories of Korosensei and E class had been resurfacing more and more lately, and it was all she could do to keep herself from falling into their trap. Karma should have been enough to keep them at bay- and he really was, for the most part. But circumstances made it difficult not to find analogies, even for someone as bad with words and metaphors as Manami.  
But when the books of ethics talked about the use of science and whether humans should be subjects of experiments or not, when they talked about who should have access to knowledge and the atrocities science could create, how could Manami not think about _him_?

 _He_ was her best teacher. And she had failed him. She had failed to save him- and after he gave her hope to fight, nonetheless.

“Ah, you guys brought them! Can you please put those in the back?” Abe’s words barely registered into Manami’s mind over the vivid images of Korosensei, but the word _back_ told her that she could be alone, and it was all she needed to know.

She made her way behind the tables without anything of what was going on staining her visual field, fully immersed in memories of class 3E. She needed to snap out of it and properly inspect the progress- not because she didn’t trust her teammates, but because she was the leader of this project. And yet, she couldn’t find the strength to stand again after she crouched to put the box down.

_Come on feet, don't betray me here._

“Is everything alright?” Tooru called, and Manami had enough common sense to know she was being talked to- and in a worried voice, too.

_We're almost done. Just hang in there until we reach the hotel room._

“Of course, just checking if nothing is broken,” Karma answered in her stead, and only then did Manami realise he was there.

_“I’ve always got your back.” It was high time she had her own back, too._

“Well then, we’re pretty much done here,” Ishikawa said. “The stalls are ready and the substances safely stored. All we need now is a good night’s sleep.”

_If she could get any, that was._

“Me and Okuda-san will stay behind and double check everything. You guys can go on ahead,” Karma spoke again. Manami hadn’t even spared him a glance.

“Are you sure you are okay?” It was Misaki that spoke this time, and it was the push Manami needed to confidently spit out:

“Of course! We just need to check the stalls and we’ll be right behind you.”

_Come on, Manami, what are you doing getting people worried?! Get a grip already!  
_

“Okay,” Tooru said, unconvinced by the smile Karma definitely was rising. “If you as much as touch a strand of her hair, I’ll personally beat you up, red devil.”

“Scary~” Karma mused and waved them off. “You should trust me more- Okuda-san is the last person I’d hurt.”

“That’s what they all say,” Tooru said instead of goodbye and then Manami heard their footsteps fading into the distance.

Her knees buckled when she attempted to stand up, so Manami shifted her position instead and gripped the box with her frosty fingers-when had all her blood run out of her peripheral areas?- biting into the rough material.

_Please. This isn’t where you fail. Come on, Manami! Please!_

Korosensei taught her better than to worry people. But she had failed him already, so what was another disappointment besides not managing to save him? What right did she even have to teach children about science when she had failed her biggest project?

Manami made the mistake of seeking comfort into the image of the eprubetei, but they just reminded her of the times when she searched for cures for Korosensei. Hours upon hours spent in the lab with Takebayashi, and they amounted to nothing. Days upon days of deciphering the formula of the research team from the space station, and it was all in vain. Weeks upon weeks spent in the assassination classroom and she could barely even come close to wrapping her mind around what her teacher even was. Months upon months spent with him and all she learnt was how to make the others worry about her.

Assassins were supposed to be silent and subtle, like Karma was when he crouched down next to her and leaned against the tent, without asking questions. She was still a girl- one that shouldn’t have had the right to preach about science when she herself couldn’t tame it completely. Science was supposed to be her friend, and yet it betrayed one of the most important person in her life.

“I couldn’t do it,” was all she wheezed out. She wasn’t ready to answer questions yet- her mind was bombarding her with them, and with the need to stand back up and work, to snap out of the drowsy stupor and do something productive. But the lethargy didn’t blame her for failing, and it shut up her busybody conscience.

“And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do it.” It was only once she blurted the worlds that their weight hit her, heavier than the Erlenmeyer flasks. She was so afraid she’d fail again and let somebody else die on her watch that she didn’t even know if she wanted to try. Staying in the lab was easy- she never saw the patients. She could immerse herself in work, and forget about where that work was leading, and just think of the efficiency of the synthesys instead of feeling the eyes of those who would consume her medicine on her.

Karma didn’t ask what she meant, and he didn’t say anything else, either. But he was there, and he was the only person who could understand. “I failed. And there’s no guarantee that I won’t fail again."

“But you won’t succeed if you don’t try, either.”

“Isn’t that better? People won’t die if I don’t fail.”

“They will die, because you haven’t stopped them from doing it.”

Manami’s head jerked up and her eyes locked on Karma’s face, but he wasn’t looking at her. He was staring, lost in a world of his own, where Manami couldn’t reach.

He was right, of course. “Being passive is a choice in itself.” Yes, she knew.

“But numbers are much more forgiving than people are. They don’t judge you- whether you’re passive or not, as long as you embrace them, they’ll give you perfect results. And numbers it’s the only thing I’m good at- so who am I to- to pretend I’m qualified to teach someone what science means?”

Her whole past downed on her, and Manami wondered whether, in the grand scheme of things, she even amounted to much. She was a puny human who couldn't even save the man who changed her life, and who didn’t even have enough strength to stand up and do a proper job now.

 _You’re being overly dramatic. Sitting around wailing won’t change anything_ , a voice in her mind whispered, adding fuel to the fire of her despair. She starting trembling slightly, shutting her eyes in an attempt to hide from the outside world. _You’re running away_. She always was- and she wasn’t even in good shape to run a marathon. Too often during her flee she took breaks and setbacks, and she too often looked back, and the sight made her stay.

She wasn’t a good assassin either, because she couldn’t help but remember her victim’s face, and because she made the deadly mistake of meeting his eyes.

It was Karma’s voice that startled her out of her isolation. “People that are only good at numbers don’t take detailed notes and they don’t underline using different colors. That’s something someone who cares does, Okuda-san.” 

Manami braced an arm around her knees and leaned her forehead on her interlaced hands.

“People that are only good at numbers don't lead a team and don't know their colleagues as well as you do.” 

Manami felt her eyes water and blinked quickly. 

“People who are only good at numbers don’t stand up for their friends. They aren’t stupidly honest and they don’t look up from their research. They aren’t fine with missing one evening in the lab to spend time with an old friend.”

Manami gave up on trying to hold back the tears that hanged on her eyelashes and dared meet Karma’s eyes, who were now fixed on hers. She read the warmth in them easily, and she suddenly felt cold.

“And they don’t blush when they eat delicious honeycomb toffee.”

A chill crawled down Manami’s back, so cold that she craved the warmth in Karma’s voice. She threw her hands around his neck and buried her face where the chrom smell couldn’t reach anymore, all in the span of one second, only to warm herself up and shut the voice in her mind.

“And they most certainly don’t hug people all of a sudden,” Karma said as he wrapped a protective arm around her waist and propped her against him.

“I failed to save him,” Manami sobbed in his cardigan.

“And I failed to kill him,” Karma answered in a voice that was hoarse with emotion he kept himself from pouring out. “But history wasn’t written with _if_ \- and he would want us to continue down our path, keeping him alive in our hearts.”

Manami nodded against his shoulder, and he patted her head gently, pressing her head in the nape of his neck. The icy feeling was starting to melt away.

“When I was in highschool, I didn’t know if there was anything besides chemistry I could chose. That was my entire life- and I came to question whether it had any meaning to me anymore, or if I was too afraid to try something else and fail again.”

“I think only those who failed have any right to give meaning to what they do, because they know what can happen when things go wrong. They’ve seen both heaven and hell already, and that’s what keeps them ticking.”

Manami needed to hear those words. “I didn’t know whether I was allowed to think that, because I was the one who failed.”

“I meant what I said, Okuda-san. My money's on you becoming the best scientist this world has seen, because only you know what science can do, and you are strong enough to stop it.” Strong. Someone said that she was _strong_. She didn’t want to contradict him, and her conscience shut up, too. A thankful tear rolled onto his cardigan.

“That’s why, I think you are also the one who is supposed to tell children about the dangers of science.”

All Manami could do was nod, her voice too brittle and broken to let words roll out. She squeezed Karma’s shoulder, thankful that he was always there, to save her from herself. She felt him kiss the crown of her hair, his lips warm on the boundary between her forehead and her hair, and she curled further into him.

“Do you remember what Korosensei said?” She hummed negatively. “The only difference between a master and his apprentice is that the master has failed more times than the apprentice has tried.”

“He did say that,” she acknowledged, tickling him with her shaky breath. “I think I’m finally starting to understand what he meant.”

“Me too,” Karma admitted and rubbed her back softly, letting her hang onto him until her sobs died out and her breaths evened out. 

The sun was setting when she finally raised her head from her safe place and met Karma’s look. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Okuda-san,” he said and pressed his forehead against hers, urging her to look at him. “You’re supposed to say thank you.”

Manami’s lips curled into a small, trembling smile. “Thank you, Karma-kun.”

“You’re welcome.”

***

“Yoshikawa is going to kill me, isn’t she?” Karma asked as they walked back to Manami’s hotel. The moon had taken the place of the sun, basking the two students in its silver rays. It was just enough light to reflect of Karma's hair and make it look like caramel, warming his image further.

“Why? We thoroughly checked everything.”

“That’s not the issue. It’s already past 8, and we said we’d be right behind.”

“Oh,” Manami shivered from both the cold and guilt, pulling Karma’s cardigan tighter around her shoulders. “That was my fault.”

“Okuda-san, we are partners in crime. If something happens, it’s equally both our faults.” There was something reassuring about the way he smiled, without the usual menace that accompanied the word _crime_. Manami smiled back, wondering whether the smell of cologne that was now a part of his cardigan would rub off her, too.

She hoped it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> I'm sorry if I made you feel, but this was long time due. I've been dropping hints here and there, but Manami has been greatly affected by Korosensei and his death, and her arc has much to do with her being unable to make a difference. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter- though shorter than the last one, I think it is my favourite thus far.  
> Good news: my phyics contest is over (and I'm getting the results today or tomorrow, wish me luck) and my German exam is next Friday! Also, the laptop should be back in three weeks tops, so double yey!  
> I hope you enjoyed this (and sorry for the rant). As always, you kind words keep me alive and writing! I can't believe the elements has 11 Chapters already, it blows me away! It's all thanks to you, guys- and we broke 1000 hits too, omg!  
> Thanks again and till next time, with the continuation of Manami's arc.


	12. Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mind is like water. When it's turbulent, it becomes difficult to see, but when it's calm, everything becomes clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Water is a transparent and nearly colorless chemical substance, the main constituent of most living organisms. Its chemical formula is H2O, meaning that each of its molecules contains one oxygen and two hydrogen atoms that are connected by covalent bonds. Life without water has been deemed impossible.

The pit in Manami’s stomach deepened with each step they took towards the university. She felt like she was walking on a thin rope, built out of her confidence in her own powers. Ishikawa’s jokes and Tooru’s witty comebacks flew past her ears, the only thing she heard being Karma’s words from the previous night.

_ “Thank you, Karma-kun,” Manami said again, awkwardly coming to a halt in front of the automatic doors. They opened as soon as they sensed her presence, but she didn’t walk in. Instead, she fidgeted with the hem of Karma’s cardigan, reluctant to let it- and him- go. _

_ “Anytime.” He was natural, both hands stuck in his pockets, but his words were genuine. The silver lighting melted his golden eyes into pools of warmth, and his dark pupils narrowed, lost in the sea of golden hope. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Okuda-san.” _

_ He didn’t ask for his cardigan back. He didn’t say ‘Good night’ or ‘Sleep tight’. They’ve known each other for long enough for him to realise such wishes were futile when Korosensei was on her mind. _

_ But when she tugged on his sleeve, hanging to it as if it were her lifeline, he did turn around and hugged her, patting her hair quietly. His touch was louder than any words could be, and the silence slowly whispered  _ “I’ve got your back.”

“Uhm, Okuda-sempai?”

Manami snapped out of her thoughts and turned her attention towards the youngest one in their team. The cold wind mercilessly whipped against them, bringing the red ends of Ishikawa’s scarf into Manami’s field of view, like a reminder of his presence. The gust of wind helped her realise how warm her own cheeks felt.

“Yes?” she answered to distract herself from her flushed face. What was she even blushing for?

“You gave up on your twin tails?”

Manami touched the back of her head, checking if the bun was still there or if it was merely a fragment of her imagination. “Yes. I thought it was high time for a change.” She smiled at her kouhai, but when her eyes caught sight of the majestic university, they were flaring with determination. She jogged to the other three members who had gone ahead and took her place in the middle of them, where she belonged.

* * *

“Punctual,” Karma commented as they joined him in the stall, his focused eyes the definition of determination.

Despite the serious atmosphere that surrounded their deputy, Tooru broke into a fit of giggles as soon as she laid her eyes on him. “I can’t believe you’re wearing  _ that _ !” She pointed to his black toga to prove her point, covering her mouth with a hand- a very good show of displaying her amusement.

“This is what lawyers wear,” he shrugged. “I think it looks pretty slick,” he added as he ran a hand through his parted, spiky hair- a fancy hairstyle that would have normally elicited a more enthusiastic answer from Manami, but she couldn’t find herself swept up in the situation. She forced an unconvincing laugh in return. 

Many of the other students were already buzzing around their own booths, like flies circling a pot of yoghurt. Manami glanced at their five tables and felt jitters shake her whole body. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply- she could do it. She  _ could  _ explain science ethics to children.

Karma’s warm hand touched the small of her back and he ran his thumb across her spine in a calming ritual. She breathed in a few more times and exhaled what she hoped to be most of her worries. 

With a small smile, she gently batted Karma’s hand away, and she gave him a look that said more than the lump of words in her throat could. She was thankful to him for always being there- but this was a battle with her own nervousness and lack of confidence. He understood immediately and nodded at her resolve.

Karma let go of Manami, who spinned around and clapped her hands loudly. “Okay guys, this is it!”

The team members whirled around to face her. Ishikawa was the first one to grin confidently. “Let’s rock them!”

Tooru poked his shoulder and rolled her eyes. “We are chemists- we blow them away,” she smirked. 

This time, even Manami simpered at their banter and Karma chuckled, “That’s more like it.”

“Lab coats on!” Ishikawa yelled, his voice loud enough to reach students from other booths, who peeked at their ball of energy curiously- and slightly weirded out.

“That sounds like a cheap transformation sequence,” Abe sighed and straightened the collar of his white coat. “We’re more like ‘Glasses on!’,” he snapped his fingers and pointed towards the protection glasses that fit perfectly over his sight ones.

The knots in Manami’s guts slowly came undone, and she enveloped her team- her friends- in a fond look. They were by her side no matter how strong her inner turmoil became, much like a bunch of assassins she knew. Perhaps Karma was right- she didn’t know to find out if she could make it alone, not as long as she she had their invisible support.

“Enough bad puns,” Tooru snorted. “We’ve got like-” she glanced at her watch “-20 minutes until the gates are open.”

“19 minutes and 28 seconds,” Karma corrected. “Precision,” he smirked when Tooru gave him a nonplussed look.

Manami elbowed him lightly as she pulled her lab coat over his cardigan. She’d put it on that morning without giving it much thought, but now that she caught his eyes lingering on what she was wearing, she was beginning to consider the implications of her snap decision. Manami could swear the corners of Karma’s lips twitched upwards just the slightest bit.

She cleared her throat to force his eyes to focus on her face instead. “Let’s review,” Manami said as she buttoned up her coat. “When the gates open, Karma and I will be on the ally, attracting kids here. Ishikawa- you’re the first one up, with your flashy experiments. Better warm the flasks up for the  _ London Fog. _ ”

“Ma’am!” the boy said, clicking his heels in a military salute. Manami paid his antics no heed and pointed at Misaki and Abe.

“Be on the stand-by for the explanation booths. Lay out the lego pieces for them.” The two nodded gravely. “And you-” she pointed at Tooru “-be ready for the experiments. Careful not to let them hurt themselves.”

“Yes!”

“Good,” Manami sighed and pressed her eyelids closed, running a mental check. “Now then,” she said as she opened her eyes and put her palm out in the tense silence between them. Her team quickly picked up on her gesture and stacked their hands together, gathering in a circle.

“Ready, and~ GO!” Manami instructed her team and their hands flew up at once, each of them murmuring their own wish. She caught Misaki’s “Good luck to us” and Ishikawa’s “We’ll nail it!”, but the one that surprised her was her own wish. _ “Let us reach the kids’ hearts.” _

“Bring us a ton of curious brats!” Ishikawa yelled, pushing Karma into the pathway.

“Good luck,” Tooru added as she patted Manami’s back, and the scientist found herself walking alongside Karma before she could wrap her hand around the buzzing pathway or make out the gate in front of them.

“This feels surreal,” she laughed sheepishly as the ever growing crowd of students battling for attention pushed her closer to Karma. It felt like they were navigating through a sea, crashing against the waves of enthusiasm the other teams irradiated. She wondered if they could keep afloat in their little boat.

“Yeah. We’ve been preparing for this for so long, and now it’s actually happening.” Karma rubbed his temples in response to the loud shrieks from other teams.

They came to a halt a few feet away from the imposing front gates, waiting for the clock to patiently tick its way to 9 a.m.

“Akabane? Is that you?” a voice from the crowd reached Manami’s ears in the droning sound of the fair. A orange head pushed its way towards the two of them, steadily going against the flow of the crowd. “Manami-chan!” Kurahashi yelped in delight, and her arms found their place around Manami’s neck in the blink of an eye. “It’s been so long!” she said against Manami’s ear.

“It has indeed! It’s nice to see you again, Kurahashi-chan!”

“And Karma is here too!” the biologist said as she broke the embrace and eyed the redhead from head to toes. “You’re still growing? Nagisa must be really frustrated!”

“Nice to see you too, Kurahashi,” Karma ate back a grin as he tilted his head in greeting. “Are you here to grab the kids’ attention, as well?”

Kurahashi offered one of her sweet smiles, yet Manami felt goosebumps trail her arms and she curled her fingers into a fist. If they were up against Kurahashi’s skills with kids… Karma brushed his knuckles against her, but when she raised her questioning eyes to him, he let out no hint of having felt her tensing up.

“How’s the biology team?” the redhead asked, and Manami muttered a worldless thanks to the man who kept backing her up.

“It’s pretty fun, but our deputy is a jerk.” Kurahashi’s nose wrinkled with disgust. “I heard he even picked an argument with someone in the last meeting.”

Manami and Karma exchanged a quick glance, just enough for Manami to notice the smirk Karma was sporting. “Daisuke  _ is  _ a douche,” he admitted nonchalantly, and Manami watched with amusement as he instinctively searched for pockets to put his hands in, his annoyance reaching a new level when he realised his toga had no such thing.

“You know him?” Kurahashi asked, her eyes widening for just a moment before she sighed. “Of course you do- and let me guess, you aren’t on good terms with him.” Karma’s smirk was enough of an answer for her. “Oh please Akabane, just don’t ruin this fair with your rivalry. For the kids.”

“I’ll try my best not to let myself be bothered by a fly like him,” he smiled lazily.

“I trust you to look after this problem-child,” Kurahashi whipped her head towards Manami and pointed to Karma’s grin as evidence. Manami nodded, a genuine smile blessing her face. Kurahashi wasn’t only good at winning the children’s hearts, Manami reasoned, a tad bit envious of the ease with which her friend spoke up.

Manami suddenly heard yelps and cries of small kids and her eyes darted towards the gate. Their cue to steel themselves against the storm was there. “Looks like it’s about to start,” Karma whistled.

“Yep. I’ll catch you guys later,” Kurahashi waved them off and plunged head-on into the crowd to approach the gate. 

Manami made a move to do the same, but Karma’s hand catched her wrist before she could lose herself in the sea of people. “Too persistent and we’ll scare them off.” His eyes were focused and the melted gold hardened on the target. Manami decided to trust his reasoning and took a step back.

Her decision turned out to be right, because she noticed kids hiding behind their mothers’ legs and smiled understandingly. Maybe she could find a common point with them in the fear of exploring unknown places reverberating with people.

A boy and his father that managed to make it through the waves of people flooding the gates were awkwardly looking around in confusion. Karma grasped the opportunity and crouched to the child’s eye level. “Hey there. What’s your name?”

The kid looked up at his father for approval. When his dad nodded, he whispered, “Eiji.”

“Eiji, that has a nice ring to it. Tell me, do you like action movies?” The child’s eyes lit up and he nodded. Manami felt like their boat had just avoided a rocky place. Karma followed their little play, “So you like the flashy way the main character wins?” Eiji nodded again. “Awesome,” Karma grinned. “Because you could do that, too.”

“I could?” the little one asked, eyes wide in disbelief. “Don’t you need superpowers?”

“You can have that, or you can have the power of science on your side.” The child looked to Manami, as if verifying how much truth those words hold.

“He’s right,” she said and flashed one of her last BB spray bombs before his eyes. “Look,” she said as she threw it into the air as high as she could, where the gas particles diffused and became harmless. A cloud of pink enveloped them, but she saw the awe in the kids’ even through the fog.

Just as Karma had predicted when they were thinking how to attract more customers, the pink fume worked like a magnet for kids. A much bigger group than Manami could have hoped for gathered around them, curiosity sparkling in their eyes.

“How did you do that?” Eiji asked, and Manami pretended to look around scared, as if a secret had been divulged.

“Do you want to know?” she whispered conspiratorially. All the kids that were circling them bobbed their heads in excited nods. “You can find out the secret if you go down that road and turn right, at the third stall. A man with glasses and spiky hair is waiting for you there, and he will tell you the secrets of this trick.”

Manami watched in delight as her words sunk in and children dragged their parents down the indicated path, towards their new discovery.

Everything flowed from there- the group of running kids attracted others, and then, according to the snowball effect, she and Karma realised that 30 lab coats might not have been enough after all.

The two shared a fist bump and hurried to watch over the second part of the big show.

***

“It’s the lady and the mister at the entrance!” Eiji announced when he reached their desk, proudly wearing the white lab coat and protection glasses.

“Hello, little scientist! How has your learning experience been?”

“Awesome!” the child chimed and gushed about all that he had learned. A warm feeling nestled in Manami’s stomach at the sight of his excitement. She found it hard to interrupt him, but she knew it was her role to do so, especially as the crowd around him grew and curious eyes settled on her, like precious gems sparkling in the dark.

“Now that you have this info, what are you going to do with it?” she asked. The child blinked at her, caught by surprise. “Will you use it for evil? Or for good?”

“Of course I’ll use it for good! I’ll fight the bad guys!” Eiji declared, and some of the other kids nodded-it seemed the only feasible answer.

“But what if you hurt the bad guy?” Karma asked and the excitement died out all at once. “After all, we dislike bad guys because they want to hurt us, right? So doesn’t hurting them make you bad, too?”

Manami held her breath as the question settled into the tense silence. If they didn’t sink now, they could reach the shore safely. 

“Then- then I’ll be careful not to hurt them!” Eiji said, doubt evident in his weavering voice.

“Are you sure that will work?” Karma bared his teeth in a devilish smirk, one that he used to wear around his victims, and Manami couldn’t help but wonder how much of this was just an act for him.

She cut in before he could delve too deep into the role. “What he means is that you need to be careful not to other citizens in the process, either.” The child laced his fingers together, uncertainty painted over his confused features. “Science can do amazing things,” Manami said and she pointed towards Tooru, who was explaining something to a smiling girl. “It has the potential to save lives, but it can also destroy them. Have you heard of the atomic bomb?”

The kid nodded.

“What we did earlier, that pink bomb, was a small scale simulation. We made sure it was harmless, and that it wouldn’t cause any of you injuries. Messing up a single step could have resulted in chaos.”

“So then we can’t use science?” a little girl asked, grasping her mom’s skirt for support.

Manami expected her words to form another barrage in her throat, but they flew out of her mouth surprisingly easily. “You can. Science befriends anyone with good intentions. As long as you always wear your coat, glasses, and don’t forget what you want to do, you’ll be brilliant.”

“I want to help others,” Eiji muttered.

“That’s the right answer,” Manami encouraged him with a warm answer. “Keep that in your heart,” she said as she touched his chest lightly, “and science will become your best friend.”

The kids fell silent for several moments, as if high waves were washing over them and they needed to find their footing. Manami’s heart squeezed uncomfortably, afraid her lecture had been too dark for them- but then a boy looked up to her, as if keeping his head above the tides, and asked, “Onee-san, why are you a scientist?”

Manami breathed in, ready to face the water that wanted to swallow her whole. “There was someone I wanted to save- but science destroyed him. I don’t want that to happen again- not to anyone,” she said with a sad smile.

The woman suddenly felt something warm around her feet, and she glanced down to see Eiji’s hands wrapped tightly around her lower torso. Her smile melted into a fond gaze, and she crouched down to hug him properly.

“I’m cheering for you,” the child whispered in her ear and squeezed her even tighter.

Despite having dived deep into the water, she felt like these kids were doing the opposite of dragging her down like weights did- they were lifting her closer to the surface.

“I’ll do my best,” she whispered back.

***

“Your stall is certainly popular,” Kataoka observed, stifling a laugh as Ishikawa fought off a kid who wanted to crawl onto the table, and saving the flask of violet permanganate just in time. “I must admit, when I heard you were doing ethics, I had my doubts. It’s not exactly easy to stomach,” Kataoka noted, her eyes falling onto Manami.

The scientist felt her friend’s sharp gaze on her, but she kept looking at the kids. “I didn’t know whether we were going to pull it off, either,” she admitted with a sheepish chuckle. “But I felt like I had to do it- I owed it to Korosensei. I know it’s only a little- it’s not like the whole planet is suddenly aware how dangerous information can be if it falls in the wrong hands- but it’s a start. It’s the least we could do.”

She dared steal a sideway glance at Kataoka, whose eyes were now on the kids, as well. She had felt her tensing up at the mention of their teacher. “Besides, Hazama’s idea of making it like a superhero story worked,” Manami changed the subject.

“Where’s Karma?” the president asked, just as reluctant as Manami to open old wounds again. Not that they had ever closed properly- and they most likely never would.

“He went to scout even more customers.” As if of cue, the redhead’s entrance was announced by a lot of children. For an instant the image of the singer in the story, who leading the rats away from the city with his flute, resurfaced in Manami’s mind.

“Well then, it looks like you’ll be busy,” Kataoka smiled and subtly left the scene to the scientists.

* * *

Nagisa rushed down the stairs- his lecture had ran late, and it was already 12:15. Jumping the stairs two at a time, he passed by his classmates, waving his hand at them and answering their questions of “What’s with the rush?” with monosyllabic words over his shoulder. He didn’t want to keep Akari waiting even more than he already had.

He jumped down the few entrance stairs and stopped to scrutinise his surroundings, trying to make out Akari’s location, while at the same time fumbling for his phone. He didn’t expect to spot her so easily, but the twin green tails were hard to miss in the mass of bland colours. Nagisa didn’t understand why his heart sank, or why his feet slowed down, as if he was walking through muddy water.

The green was itching his eyes, and he kept telling himself it was because he wasn’t used to that hairstyle anymore. Kay-Akari, he corrected himself, waved to him and smiled broadly. He plastered a matching simper on his face.

“Nagisa, she greeted cheerfully, and pointed to his head. “You got a haircut! It suits you!” Her face was flushed from the cold, but she was excited despite the low temperatures.

Nagisa fell into place next to her, letting the wind whip his face in hopes his heart would stop twitching at the sight of her hair. “Thanks. You too- you went to your old hairstyle?”

“Oh this?” Kaya-Akari, a voice in his head hissed- ruffled a tail. “It’s just a wig. I figured you wouldn’t want to walk next to Mase Haruna,” she lowered her voice and gave him an uneasy smile.

Nagisa clenched his jaw, swallowing his snarky comeback. He didn’t want to walk next to Mase Haruna, but it wasn’t like he wanted to walk alongside Kayano Kaede either- he wanted to be with  _ Akari Yukimura _ . What was with the whole “being herself in front of him”? Did that work when it was only the two of them? Wasn’t that the same as running away?

“Do you want to stop somewhere on the way?” Kayano asked, and Nagisa stopped telling himself this was Akari.

His nails bit into the skin of his palm, but he gulped his annoyance with the cold air. He had no right to question her decisions- but he couldn’t deny feeling hurt, either. Maybe he wasn’t a match to walk alongside her- not even as a hamburger, as Karma would have bluntly stated.

“Yes, Karma asked me to get them something to eat from the nearest fast food.”

***

“What took you so long?” Karma grunted when Nagisa hold out the McDonald’s bag to him. “We were starving,” he complained, reaching for his wallet under the black toga, but he stopped as soon as his eyes fell on Nagisa’s companion. “Hello, Kayano-chan.” Too busy hugging Okuda to bother with an answer, Kayano simply waved her hand at him.

“I smell double cheese hamburgers!” Ishikawa yelled from the front stall. He was next to Karma in the blink of an eye, stretching his hand to grab the food. If Karma squinted, he could already see a small trail of drool on Ishikawa’s chin.

“Sadly for you, the cheese one is mine,” Karma declared, spinning just in time to avoid the hungry man’s head-on attack.

“That’s okay, I bought two with cheese,” Nagisa attempted to make peace when he noticed Ishikawa’s pout, and was rewarded by having the ball of energy squeeze his hands.

“Akabane, you have such nice friends!” Ishikawa declared as he took the hamburger out of Nagisa’s hand- when did he snatch it from the bag? Karma shook his head- he had lost his grasp on sensing Nagisa’s bloodlust.

Yoshikawa lightly chopped Ishikawa’s head with her glass wand. “Don’t let you stall unsupervised, yours is the most dangerous one!” she scolded him.

“But Toooru, I’m huuungry!” the university student whined, sounding exactly like a kindergarten brat. Karma snorted, and caught Nagisa’s glancing amused at him.

“They’re always at it,” he shrugged, but knew what that look Nagisa had thrown all too well- he had caught on Karma’s unspoken interest and attachment to the team.  “Abe-san, Ito-chan, we have food!” Karma called, pretending he didn’t feel Nagisa’s laughing eyes on him.

Misaki Ito reluctantly left her place behind the Structures Stall and grabbed the nuggets and fries before hurrying back to her table. She was the biggest surprise that day, easily communicating with the kids and bonding with them over their curiosity for atoms. “She has a younger brother,” Abe said as an explanation, but he was just as impressed as the rest of them with their usually shy junior. Karma couldn’t help but see a younger Okuda in her- a timid girl that bloomed when she could talk about chemistry.

“Have you seen any other interesting stalls?” Karma tore his eyes from his group to look at Nagisa. Getting an outsider’s input over the fair could help them adjust their approach to attract more customers.

“The Social Studies students had an exciting roleplay with the kids,” Nagisa said thoughtfully, and Karma nodded- Tanaka had been talking about the cases he wanted to play out with the kids for weeks on end, and he even showed Karma his ideas, despite the redhead no longer being part of that faculty.

“Kurahashi’s booth was also pretty awesome,” Kayano interjected all of a sudden, stealing a fry from Karma’s pack. “They transformed the booth in a mini-jungle!”

Okuda’s nose wrinkled as soon as the words hit her and she met Karma’s look, as if  to say  _ We’re not going to lose. _ He nodded, taking another bite of his burger as he thought of new ways they could attract clients- this was a matter of management, after all. Nothing a good politician couldn’t handle.

He slurped the strawberry milkshake that Nagisa had so well remembered to buy and detached himself from his role in the fair for a moment, trying to objectively determine what they could add to their offer.

Lunch was quiet, but Karma had enough experience to know that the real battle started in the afternoon, which brought new waves of children- and as the evening went on, they’d become increasingly tired and only stop at a few stalls. 

Strategically speaking, they did well with Ishikawa in front- he had both the stamina and the excitement to bring in picky customers. And then they had Ito, who easily interacted with kids and could answer their questions, as well as Abe, who was terrific with putting a premature end to tantrums. Yoshikawa had the authority to stop kids from doing as they wished on her grounds- Karma shouldn’t have worried about her not being able to single-handedly handle the children.

And then there was Okuda, who touched the hearts of her audience with her honesty and the raw emotion of her experience, and who didn’t back away from the responsibility she shouldered. Karma’s eyes lingered on the nape of her neck, partially covered by the collar of the lab coat, under which his cardigan warmed her up. He covered his smile by taking another bite of his lunch. There was something comfortable and very much natural about her wearing his clothes, and the way his cardigan hugged her petite stature was more attractive than Karma wanted to admit.

“You’re staring,” Kayano teased him as she leaned against the tent, sliding another fry from Karma’s portion. He forced his eyes from the hair that was rebelling against Okuda’s bun and fixed them on Kayano.

“Why did you put on a wig?” he asked, not forcibly to change the subject, but more so to analyse her reaction. The actress jolted in surprise- bull’s eye. “You’re smarter than that, Kayano-chan,” he said and watched her bite her lower lip. 

So she knew.

“Karma-kun, we’ve got company,” Okuda called.

He heaved himself from his corner and slipped back into his role, wiping crumbles from his mouth. Kayano remained behind, and Karma felt her gaze on his back, but refused to give her more advice. It was meaningless unless she decided for herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
> Sorry, I know I've been MIA for so long, and I'm not gonna bore you with the reasons. Good news: my laptop is back, and so is my German test result (I've got full marks on the speaking test and I'm honestly proud!). As life keeps invading me, expect a new chapter every 2-3 weeks... sorry!!!  
> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Editing it was difficult, but I'm quite happy with how it turned out... Though reading last chapter again, this doesn't hold a candle to it, but hey: it's only the first day of the fair! Next chapter covers the adventures of the second half of the first day, and possibly a bit of the second day! (depending on how long it turns out to be).  
> Also, you may have noticed the 30 chapters I have predicted- that is simply an assumption based on how I have structured the story now, and is not the definitive version. Hopefully, you'll stick with me through all of it! Thank you for reading and for your love, it keeps me alive and kicking!


	13. Chemical Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Our fate lives within us- you only have to be brave enough to see it." ~Brave, 2012

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike a physical change, which only involves a change in size, shape, or form, a chemical change supposes a usually irreversible chemical reaction, involving the rearrangement of the atoms in said substance, often accompanied by a change in composition or properties.

Manami wiped her brow- when did she sweat so much?- as she watched Karma, brought to the end of his wits and patience by a child with more than a handful of questions about ethics. She couldn’t deny her amusement, and could barely bring herself to even feel guilty about it- seeing Karma in dismay was entertaining, to say the least. Did he turn her into a sadist?

“Don’t just laugh, Okuda-san,” he whined, almost pleading for her help as the child pulled on his toga, annoyed that Karma wasn’t giving him his undivided attention.

“Yo! You’re surely lively,” a voice pulled both Manami and Karma out of their job as entertainers/teachers, and they blinked in surprise at their visitors.

“Kanzaki-san, Sugino-kun! Wait, don’t you have training today?”

“I did in the morning, but I kept the afternoon open to pay you guys a visit,” he smiled amiably. Manami thought he almost looked like he was gleaming, proudly holding Kanzaki’s hand as if she was the light of his eyes- which, after hearing Kanzaki’s story about his meeting her parents, seemed to be the case.

“We appreciate that, Mr. Big Shot,” Karma teased him and sighed in relief when the kid stopped crawling onto his leg. To Sugino’s dismay, the next target of the child was the pro baseball player himself.

“You’re Sugino Tomohito??” the child eagerly asked and tugged dangerously forcefully on his pants.

“Looks like you’ve got fans everywhere,” Kanzaki chuckled. Sugino offered her a dazzling impersonation of her own unimpressed look and crouched to talk to the excited child.

“Of course he does!” another adult commented. He suddenly popped behind Kanzaki, and casually conversed with her. Sugino didn’t even flinch when he approached her with a familiarity Kanzaki would normally found bothersome. Could he be…?

“Okuda-chan, this is-”

“No way!” the man interrupted Kanzaki with a statement between a shout and a cheer as he pointed to Karma. “You’re the redhead genius! I read your article on the latest Trade Law, and I must say, you definitely touched some sensitive matters.”

Manami glanced at Karma, round eyes putting the question mark in her stare- just when did he become an overnight star? Kanzaki seemed just as curious about this whole ordeal.

“Akabane Karma, a pleasure to meet you. Akihito Kanzaki, I suppose?” he asked in his business tone and stretched his hand out with a perfectly calculated smile.

“Sharp, I see,” the man nodded as he shook his hand.

“It would have been unbefitting of me not to recognise one of the best lawyers in Japan, wouldn’t it?” Karma pleasantly asked, raising the smile with a notch of admiration- whether it was just as calculated as the tone or genuine, Manami couldn’t say. That was probably only one of the reasons why Karma was in the eye of the Law public.

“And what about you? The rising star of the Faculty of Law, I would have expected nothing less,” he gestured around the stalls. “I heard the fair was organised by Law students this year, so of course I had to visit it, as an alumni myself. I must say, you guys haven’t let me down.”

“I’m glad we lived up to the expectations. But the fair is just starting,” Karma said and his eyes darted towards the incoming group of kids. Anyone unfamiliar with predators would have described it as a lazy glance, but under it, the gears of his mind were spinning with speed competing that of gazelles.

His eyes darted towards Sugino for only a split second, but it was enough for Manami to read his thoughts- the baseball star’s presence offered them a boost. Did they even deserve such help? Wasn’t it unfair?

“Have you visited Kurahashi as well?” Manami asked, reading the question Karma couldn’t ask in his attitude.

“Yes, a short while ago. The kids loved her!”

Even if the Biology booth- and Daisuke as a result- were doing great, perhaps even better than them, Manami couldn’t help but feel like the attention Sugino attracted and that in turn reflected on their booth was unearned. She wondered whether Karma would resent her when she addressed Sugino, “Have you seen the sports booth?”

His eyes lit up instantaneously. “There is one?”

“Yes, three stalls to the left of ours,” Karma answered instead of her. 

Manami loosed a sigh and straightened her back, confidently adding, “We heard a lot of praise for the Social Studies one, too.”

“Well then, better check them out!” Akihito eagerly said and stole a last glance ar Karma. “You’re doing great, kids! Keep it up!”

“Thank you!” Karma and Manami answered at the same time.

Left on their own, she dared peek sideways at Karma. She felt him relax next to her, and wondered when he had tensed up. As the business smile left his face, his tired eyes regained their mischievous spark.

“You are something else, Okuda-san.” She was about to open her mouth, but he read her thoughts faster. “Don’t apologize. You’re right, after all,” he sighed and finally met her eyes with a crooked smile. “This isn’t about who’s sneakier- we have to work hard ourselves, and everyone should have equal chances.”

She nodded and returned her attention to the twins that had arrived in front of them. Karma always understood her- even without words.

***

“The drink-bringer!” Ishikawa yelled and downed half of his barely tea in one go, brimming with flushed cheeks. 

“That’s a nickname I haven’t heard before,” Isogai laughed. He placed bottles and doses of juice and tea onto every table. “You guys shouldn't forget to stay hydrated,” he said as he placed the last cartoon of strawberry milk in front of Karma.

“Aren’t you  _ the _ lifesaver?” the redhead smirked and pierced the aluminum with the straw. “Refreshing,” he muttered in delight.

“How’s supervising going?” Okuda asked as she unbottled her own tea and took a timid sip.

“It’s alright. Everybody seems to have thought everything through except for meals and drinks,” he said, only half accusatory, following his statement with a sigh.

“Let me guess, running errands?” Karma smirked lazily, toying with the straw between his teeth.

“Pretty much. Kataoka has been buying sandwiches for the past two hours. The chicken one has a very good reception,” he smiled. “I’ve been on drink duty. Maybe next year, the Student Council should provide food and drinks for you guys.”

“I’m on board for that!” Ishikawa declared, but Isogai was already lost in his accounting thoughts.

“Let’s see… if we divide the budget… we’ll have to cut quite a bit from the summer activities, but maybe we can manage,” he muttered, raising fingers and counting something only he knew about.

Karma had gotten used to Isogai’s motherly care for his well being by now, but he still found it somewhat surprising that he was so eager to help everyone when there was nothing in it for him. Maybe that was what made him a better leader than the cold and calculated mind of the politician-to-be. Or maybe it was the way he didn’t even have to put in effort to be likeable.

The redhead bit his lower lip and shook his head at his friend’s behavior. With a gentle pat on his back, Isogai came back to his senses. Karma grinned at him, “Don’t you have more thirsty people to save?”

“Right,” Isogai smiled thankfully. “Good luck here, guys!”

“We don’t need luck,” Karma called after him and the man gave him a thumbs-up.

***

Karma was sometimes reminded that he was the embodiment of irony, if such a thing existed. Despite carrying the name of fate, he didn’t believe in luck or some sort of supreme force that dictated the course of one’s life. What he believed in was hard work, and the ability to change your life by making your own decisions.

When people inevitably joked about Karma being the missionary of fate, he displayed a cold smile and kept himself from rolling his eyes. Destiny was for the weak to believe in, that was Karma’s conviction.

So when Okuda uttered those words, he was left speechless for a solid minute. In fact, he wasn’t even sure his brain processed it immediately.

“Don’t you think it’s funny? We may be changing the destiny of some people today, Karma-kun.”

She had never joked about his name, and from the look on her face, she wasn’t making a pun now, either. What she was doing was surprising him with her honesty again.

“Maybe that’s too presumptuous of me to imagine, right? That what we’re doing here might influence their careers,” she added with a sheepish laugh when she registered his silence.

“No,” he slowly said, as if he had to dig for the words and bring them to light. “Maybe you’re right,” he said and flashed her a smile. For unknown reasons, having her say that he influenced someone’s fate didn’t bother him. If he usually didn’t mind being named Karma, he suddenly felt a wave of fondness wash over his name.

When he focused back on the task at hand, he heard Okuda tell a kid, “You seem quite passionate about this. Maybe you should check the Social Studies booth too- they’re ready to initiate you in the art of Law.”

“Really?” the child asked, her eyes twinkling with excitement.

“Of course. They’re always happy to have children eager to learn,” Karma spoke, leaning down to pat the girl’s head. “It’s three boths to the right.” It wasn’t often that they had women interested in law- honestly, it was refreshing to see such a bright mind.

The child happily skipped out of their booth and towards the indicated place, dragging her mother along. The two students watched them leave, enjoying a moment of peace in the constant buzz surrounding them that day.

“You know, I think this shouldn’t be all about the competition. It’s just- what’s important is that these kids find their passion and act on it- and that’s our objective. Even if that passion isn’t science,” Okuda said, taking deep breaths to fuel her argument. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want us to win,” she quickly added with a sly grin.

“I know,” Karma laughed and patted her head. He didn’t know he was tense until he relaxed under her touch. His mind had been filled with nothing but strategies- and yet her simple words broke him out of the cage of his thoughts, and finally allowed him to see the bigger picture. “You’re right,” he said and stopped ruffling her bun. “We’re here to guide them.”

“Right.”

He didn’t need to ask to know what she was thinking about. Korosensei would have been so proud of her- and maybe, if he was looking over them, he was now smiling and showing them the “correct answer” face.

***

“What about lab rats?”

Manami’s eyes widened in surprise as she fixed them on the small girl clutching her hands to her chest in front of her. She was slightly trembling- not with fear or disgust, but with barely contained anger that lit up a brightly burning flame in her eyes.

“Rats are also living beings- why do people test medicines on them?” she repeated. Her voice betrayed passion about the cause, and Manami’s surprise melted under the warmth of the flames into a smile.

“You’re right,” she acknowledged. “People started using them because they react the same as humans to most medicine, so, if the medicine that they were developing could be dangerous, they wanted to shelter humans from getting hurt.” The girl’s gaze didn’t lose its piercing intensity. “But you already know that,” Manami sighed and crouched next to her, brushing a stray strand of hair that obstructed the burnt charcoal in her eyes.

“It’s like saying we are superior,” the girl whispered, using her remaining energy to control her tears. Manami stole a glance at Karma- maybe they had gone too far with their previous talk about countermeasures in the laboratory.

“That’s why informaticians are trying their best to develop a program that will allow us to find the shortcomings of a drug without having to test it on living beings,” she said, stroking the girl’s cheek with her index finger.

Such a small body contained great passions and amazing ideals- and when she smiled, it lit up the burning passion to set things right inside Manami. The older girl unconsciously smiled back, and she only realised she was beaming when her cheeks started hurting.

“You seem to like animals,” Karma noted nonchalantly. When the girl nodded enthusiastically, he chuckled, “Well, then you’re in luck- there’s a very nice girl at the biology booth to our left, and she will love talking more about animals to you.”

No trace of the previous tears shadowed the girl’s grin when she pulled her mother towards the indicated place, an island of hidden treasures for the curious soul.

Karma felt Manami’s stare on him and shrugged. “It’s just like you said- our role is to guide them so they’ll become outstanding members of the society. If that girl’s passion is biology, I won’t hold it against her that Daisuke is coordinating that stall. Besides,” he added with a lazy smirk that naturally curled about his lips, “that smile is enough of a reward.”

Manami’s heart burst with warmth, and her eyes tracked the small shoulders of the girl that was fading into the crowd. “She had a wonderful smile,” she agreed with a nod.

“Well, hers wasn’t bad either, but I was talking about yours, Okuda-san.” If the huge grin on Karma’s face was anything to go by, he wasn’t lying. Manami found the warmth spreading to her cheeks and painting them a wild red, matching his hair.

***

_ “You’re smarter than this, Kayano-chan. _

The sharp pang in her chest when she checked herself in the bathroom mirror of the coffee shop told her as much- she had the sudden urge to drop her wig in a shredder. She wondered if the indifference that curtained Nagisa’s eyes was the damned green’s fault- why did she choose green, anyway? It attracted more attention than her natural black hair- and it happened to be a colour she could barely stand ever since Korosensei’s death.

Akari slapped her cheeks and willed herself to return to their table and  _ talk  _ to Nagisa. Worrying about this on her own like an idiot wasn’t going to solve anything- and it wasn’t going to clear the lump in her throat, either.

When she stepped back into the creamy lights of the shop, she noticed Nagisa was paying for their orders, and she understood it was their cue to leave. She peeled her coat from the chair and offered Nagisa a sheepish smile when he noticed her shuffling. “Shall we go?”

“Yeah.” Akari didn’t miss his fingers curling into a fist as -dare she say?- guilt left a remorseful smile on his face.

They were out in the cold air without any other words, and without any of his glances spared in her direction. Akari tried to fall into pace next to Nagisa, but he didn’t seem aware of the differences in the size of their steps. She tried reaching out for his hand, but stopped herself just before their knuckles could graze against each other. Her steps came to a halt, and Akari held her breath to calm herself down.

“Nagisa, do you hate me?”

She wasn’t sure if the words reached him at first, because it was a few more seconds until he stopped and turned around. Even as he did face her, he kept his eyes hidden under his now much shorter hair. Akari squeezed her hoodie until her fingers turned white, wondering if she should repeat herself or laugh it off.

And then his mouth opened. It was only a split second until he closed it again, and he lifted his head to reveal a sad smile. “I couldn’t hate you.” His flat voice betrayed nothing. 

Akari shut her eyes and wished for just one thing:  _ Please don’t say you don’t care. _ Indifference was worse than hate.  _ Please don’t say it. _

“If anything, I hate myself.”

“Oh I s-” Kayano let the prepared answer escaped the gates of her gritted teeth before she could register his words. “Wait, what?” she blurted, opening her eyes and finally taking a good look at his face.

It wasn’t indifference that blurred his piercing eyes, but sadness.

“I can’t deny I wasn’t somewhat angry when I saw you, but I wasn’t angry at you. It’s just- I guess I realised that I’m really not someone who can be seen walking by your side.” He scratched the back of his head with a nervous laugh.

“No!” Akari yelled and leaped at him, closing the distance between them and cupping his hands in hers. “That’s not it at all! If there’s anyone I want to be seen with, that would be you! I just thought- well, I thought it would cause you problems if someone were to see us, you know, together? And if then you’d be involved into a scandal or something,” her voice died out as she spoke and realised just how trivial her worries were.

Nagisa seemed to think the same way, because a genuine laugh escaped his lips. She gave him an accusing look, but the relief painted across his face softened it into a pout.

“I’m sorry, I was being stupid,” he excused himself and slowly pulled a hand out of her grasp to rub her now-freezing palms. “I should have discussed this with you before acting like an idiot. I’m sorry,” he repeated.

“No, I should be the one apologising,” Akari swiftly shook her head and loosed a heavy breath. Now that the misunderstanding was cleared up, her brain found it appropriate to remind her that she was holding Nagisa’s warm hand. She quickly let it go, as if he was burning her, but he tightened the grasp he had on the tips of her fingers as she tried to slip out of his grasp.

“It’s pretty late, so I’ll take you home,” he said, pretending it wasn’t a big deal. The blush he was sporting said otherwise.

“Yeah,” Akari responded, feeling her face burn as hot as a steaming pie.

“Just so you know, having my face pasted all over the internet is a small price to pay for seeing you, Akari,” he added and gave her hand a fond squeeze.

“Mhm,” Akari said as she buried her chin in her scarf. “Be sure not to regret that when I visit again, okay?”

***

Okuda was kneeling in front of a child, gesturing as she tried to make herself clear, so entirely absorbed in the world of chemistry that she was working as a guide for that she didn’t notice Karma leaving the stand. The way her eyes sparkled when she talked about chemistry put any diamond to shame, and it made Karma’s heart throb in a way nothing had before.

He found it hard to unglue his eyes from her, but did so anyway to take care of the intruder that had been pacing to and fro next to their stall for the last 15 minutes.

“Even a child can hide better,” Karma said as he came face to face with a very surprised Koyama, who had staggered back a few steps from the shock. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Karma waited a few minutes, cocking his head to the side, taking in the man who couldn’t bring himself to form words. Even in high school, Koyama was reluctant to think for himself and prefered following Asano around and letting him take decisions for him. 

It was only when Asano started hanging out with former class E members that Koyama rebelled and went as far as refusing to talk to his former leader for a week. Perhaps the decision was also influenced by the fact that Okuda had taken the first prize in a competition he entered, while the self-proclaimed science prodigy only made it in third place.

“Well-” the man stammered, trying to find his footing in the vast sea that words were. He pushed his glasses up his nose, a habit that unleashed whenever he felt uneasy, and grinned the horrible thing he called a smile, that inhuman mouth movement that contored his face.

“I was assessing how well you’re holding up,” he decided on saying, and Karma rewarded his efforts with a proper grin. “After all, you didn’t invite my university and went for that little girl’s instead,” he puffed.

“Well, Koyama-kun, that  _ little girl _ doesn’t scare kids with only her face, much unlike you,” Karma told him in a honeyed voice and watched with pleasure as the man’s face wrinkled with rage. “Why don’t you come and look for yourself, instead of hiding here like a shady man and scaring away the kids?”

Koyama grunted something in return, but didn’t find the force not to follow Karma back into the place smelling like a proper lab. “You can stay for a session,” Karma instructed and pointed towards their audience.

As expected, Okuda didn’t feel Karma sliding back next to her, nor did she feel the poisonous presence of her former rival- not that she ever considered him that. Karma doubted the term  _ rival _ was even a part of her vocabulary. It was only when the kids laid down on the avalanche of questions and Karma took over for her that she rose her eyes and saw beyond her bubble.

“Koyama-kun, what a surprise!” she exclaimed in a genuinely excited tone. “Did you listen to the lecture?”

The man looked taken aback, as if she had woken him up from a trance. Karma was eavesdropping on their conversation, making out their words amidst the cries and the yelps of the children, so he was sure he heard it wrongly when Koyama answered, “Yes.”

The bewilderment painted across Koyama’s face was enough of an indicator that the word had escaped his mouth, though. “I’m glad,” Okuda answered, and although she had her back to Karma, he was sure she was smiling.

A ghost of a smile passed by Koyama’s face, too- a crumbled copy that retained almost nothing of the original article, but that strangely didn’t make him repelling, like his grin did.

***

“Was it really just 12 hours? It felt like a week!” Ishikawa noted as they cleaned up the aftermath of the first day. As expected, the chemistry lab found its casualties in broken eprubetei and dirty Erlenmeyer flasks, but the first aid kit was luckily untouched.

“What, already getting tired, Mr. Energetic?” Karma asked with a teasing smile, effortlessly catching the plastic wrapping foil Tooru threw him and proceeding to seal off the substances.

“Hey, even I have my limits!” Ishikawa protested and stifled a yawn.

“You did a great job, you deserve a good night’s rest,” Abe assured him.

Thankfulness sprinkled in Ishikawa’s eyes. “See Akabane, some people appreciate hard work! So Abe-senpai, will you treat us then?”

“Don’t push your luck,” their senior sighed.

“He keeps complaining about being tired, but still has this much energy to complain,” Tooru whispered to no one in particular, shaking her head in what she wanted to be disapproval, but was much more accurately interpreted as a fond laugh.

Manami found the lingering warmth of the kids’ smiles and curiosity still throning in their booth. Her team looked exhausted, but their eyes crinkled with excitement characteristic to any scientist sharing their work, and the other teams’ chitter-chatter weaved a pleasant symphony. The air warmed up with their Bunsen burners, but also with joy and rediscovery of their passion.

So when a yell pierced through the harmonious atmosphere, it shattered the beautiful evening like a rock thrown into a window, and it was so loud it almost made Manami drop the flask of sulphuric acid.

“What the hell are you trying to do?” an irritated voice growled and Daisuke strolled into their booth, towards the niche where Karma was storing the substances away. “Are you trying to show off?” he roared as he clenched his fists around the collar of Karma’s shirt.

Karma gave him a nonplussed look and put down the orange solution.

“Well?! Speak up!” Daisuke ordered, his nostrils flaring with rage.

“About what?” Karma cooly answered, uncurling Daisuke’s hand from around the hem of his shirt and straightening his collar up.

“Don’t act like a smartass! You sent kids at my booth?! What, do you want me to be indebted to you, is that it?! Or do you want to win this contest and then rub it in my face?! Are you looking down on me, you dipshit?!” the man yelled, and brought his fist dangerously fast and with treacherous force near Karma’s nose.

Before Manami could jump in or anyone else could react, Karma dodged and snorted, “Is that really the best you can do?”

“Don’t take me for an idiot, you-”

“That’s enough,” Manami declared as she posted herself between the two men, holding out a hand to stop Daisuke from attacking again and pressing her other hand into Karma’s chest- not only to stop him from doing something reckless, but also to check if he was tense. His muscles were contracted and his breathing controlled.

“Don’t interfere,” Daisuke growled menacingly.

“Then don’t make me,” she shot back. “You are surrounded by dangerous substances, so please don’t carelessly move around. Also, Karma-kun wasn’t trying to insult you in any way.”

“I said don’t interfere!” the man yelled as he attempted to shove the woman out of the way and resume his pointless fight, but Karma placed a steady hand on his forearm before his fingertips could even graze Manami.

“Don’t touch her,” the redhead hissed in a  dangerous voice. Manami didn’t need to whip her head around to feel the bloodlust or to see the effect his deadly gaze had on Daisuke, who took a step back under the impact of the assassin’s resolve, barely hiding how his knees buckled.

“Daisuke-san!” Manami instantaneously recognised Kurahashi’s voice. Their attacker weavered before he sulked and turned sideways to face the woman calling for him. 

Even as Daisuke’s posture lost its readiness to fight, Karma didn’t loosen up at all. Instead, he moved the hand that had grasped Daisuke’s arm a few seconds ago and wrapped it around Manami, gently but firmly scooping her closer to him. She caught a glimpse at the outline of his clenched jaw and rubbed his forearm reassuringly- Karma certainly got worried over the strangest things.

“What are you doing here, Daisuke-san?” they heard Kurahashi reprimand her team leader, a hand disapprovingly propped on her hip. “Please don’t tell me you were picking a fight with Karma!” she sighed in exasperation, glimpsing her former classmates.

“You know him?” Daisuke asked, bewildered.

“Yes. He is my  _ friend _ , so please refrain from picking fights with him, would you?”

Manami felt Karma suddenly relax when Kurahashi stressed the word  _ friend _ and he let go of her, sighing in a mixture of amusement and relief. She also let the tension flow out of her, but felt like she wanted to stay in his arms a while longer nevertheless.  _ Weird, _ her brain quietly mused. 

Kurahashi’s words also had a positive effect on Daisuke, as the pout that rounded her lips made him turn his back on the scientists and reluctantly head towards cleaning his own booth.

Before entirely disappearing from their line of sight, he turned around to throw Karma a last glance, which the redhead returned sternly, doubling the intensity. Manami wondered if he could pierce through people with that gaze of his, whether it was a sword as sharp as his physical one. For a split second, Manami felt the trail of his strong hands on her waist and realised that the same fingers could easily curl around the hilt of a sword and deliver a deadly blow.

“What’s  _ his  _ deal?” Ishikawa asked, his voice enough to erase the image that gave Manami shudders from her mind.

“No idea,” Karma answered in a monotone tone, but his chin was pointed downwards and his eyes were glued on Daisuke’s back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I am so so sorry. it has been over two weeks since the last chapter, but I yesterday had the physics regionals, and guess what? I qualified for the nationals! So hopefully, the wait has been worth it. Also, this chapter turned out pretty long and the scenes in it were quite diverse, so hopefully you have liked it:) Next chapter will describe day 2 of the fair, starring guest characters Asano and Nakamura, because their friendship with Karma gives me life!  
> Hoping you have enjoyed this chapter and till next time~ Not sure when that's gonna be tho, I have earth science regionals in 2 weeks and them chem in 3 so... wish me luck? But I'll try my best to put out a new chapter for you! Thank you as always for the constant love and support!


	14. Strong Nuclear Force

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead and as promised, I'm not giving up on the Elements. I had a bit of a block with this series, but the (long) pause did me good, since I now have Karma's arc much clearer in my mind, and I think it's better than what I had originally planned. Anyway, you've been waiting for this for long enough, so let's dig right in!
> 
> The strong nuclear force is the force that holds the nucleus together. As the name suggests, this force is strong.

Manami gradually warmed up, her body pressed against the heater in the hotel room and a cup of hot chocolate daintily wrapped in her hands. Tooru was curled up on her bed, sipping from the same beverage, whereas Misaki was outside, talking on the phone.

It wasn’t until she had reached her room and had kicked her shoes off that Manami truly felt the exhaustion of the day sink in, paralysing her entire body, even her tongue.

It didn’t help that the incident with Daisuke was fresh in her mind, either. Karma had told her not to pay him any mind, but she found that hard to do with his raw rage and red eyes pulsing out of their orbit. It reminded her of Itona when he was under the control of the tentacles- or even worse, of Kayano. She shuddered despite the warmth and pulled Karma’s cardigan tighter around her.

Countless thoughts were tangled in her mind like threads, but Manami had no power left to unravel them. One thought in particular was screaming at her to pay attention to it, however. One that she had buried in the depths of her being long ago. It had probably resurfaced when Tooru had asked her what Karma meant to her. It was a possibility she had to take into account, but one she lacked data on.

Her tongue, warmed by the sweetness of the dense chocolate, broke out of its sleep to ask, “Tooru-chan?” The girl hmmed in answer, lost somewhere in her own world of chocolate-flavoured steam. “What does it feel like to like someone?”

She had been waltzing around the concept- toying with it, considering whether it fit her situation, experimenting, but never approving of the idea. Whenever she came closer to it, a voice in her mind snarled  _ Unknown territory. Do you really want to go there? _

The question took Tooru by surprise. She jolted, dangerously close to spilling the insides of her cup on the immaculate sheets. “That was sudden,” she eventually said, settling back into the pillows and bracing a hand around the knees brought up to her chest. “Why do you ask?”

“Just trying to figure some things out,” Manami mused. Usually, she’d feel nervous talking about this- she used to back in high school, when her friends had girls’ talk, and even in middle school. For unknown reasons, she feels calm now, and as Tooru started talking, it wasn’t embarrassment, but peace that enveloped her.

“It’s hard to put into words, but you feel giddy when he isn’t around. You’re all hyped about getting messages from him when you check your phone, but when you actually open them, you feel calm. And when you’re with him, it’s like time stops. There’s an electric zip when he touches you, but then the butterflies stop stirring, and it just feels  _ right _ . Like he’s supposed to be there, and when he isn’t there something is missing.”

Tooru was looking at a precise spot on the bed as she spoke, and the words came out mellow, but Manami knew. She knew who her friend was talking about and was aware that Tooru knew why she had asked, too. Neither of them needed to confirm it.

Manami wrapped Karma’s cardigan tighter around her and buried her head in her arms, inhaling the smell of Karma’s clothes, mixed with her own. She liked this, loved his proximity, but a small part of her didn’t want to admit she liked him, because that changed everything. It changed their friendship, it possibly ruined what they had worked to rebuild, it destroyed any chance she had to talk to her best friend again.

“I’m going to take a shower,” she eventually said and locked those thoughts behind a steel door in her mind.

***

Morning met a tired and confused Manami. Her sleep had been restless, caught somewhere between dreamland and reality. Fragments of her memories with Korosensei had haunted her rest, as had images of Karma walking away from her. She was drenched in her own sweat when she woke up, and the shower barely made her feel better.

Maybe it was because of the stress, she pondered as the water washed over her. But she knew what it actually was- she wasn’t being honest with herself, and she kept postponing accepting the truth, telling herself she had to focus on chemistry or on a lecture, or, in this case, on the fair. 

She looked in the mirror as she got out of the shower and made a vow to herself- she’ll take her time to sort everything out once the science fair was over that evening.

With that, Manami dressed up and joined the others with a spring to her step- she could make it through the day with a smile on her face.

The first thing that made her question her resolve, however, materialised in the form of Daisuke’s booth, by which they had to pass in order to reach their own stand. The man was already there, and Manami felt him staring so intently at her that it felt like he could burn a hole through her head.

Meeting him was balanced out by Karma waiting for them in the tent. For a moment, Manami caught a glimpse of his face- tired, and just as confused as her own that morning in the mirror- but then he noticed them and his features morphed into the mischievous grin that was his trademark. Manami’s guts twisted with that uneasiness she hated so much- why couldn’t he trust her enough to tell him what worried him?

“Morning,” he nonchalantly greeted. His eyes stopped on her face and he scanned it carefully. “What happened?” he asked as Manami joined him by their table, buttoning her lab coat.

“I just couldn’t sleep well, that’s all,” she chose to hell a half-truth.

His golden eyes rested on her for a while longer, examining, assessing, processing. What exactly, Manami couldn’t tell, but she knew that pensive look and allowed him to search for whatever he could discover on her face. “Alright,” he eventually said, letting his lips curl into a complice grin. “What are we going to amaze them with today, Okuda-san?”

She returned his smile, flashing his teeth at him. “As if you don’t already know, Karma-kun.”

***

The morning passed much quicker than the previous one. Slipping into their roles easier, the team took it upon themselves to tour the kids through another one of science’s mysteries- organics. It was trickier than what they had done the previous day, but it was also much easier to explain certain biochemistry aspects to them this way.

“And this is how you stock energy in your body,” Karma heard Abe say and smiled to himself. Just a few metres away, Ishikawa was going about his own enthusiastic little show, creating the silver mirror for excited little children, and Misaki and Tooru were building zahariades with lego pieces.

Every time one of the members stumbled over their words, someone was there to help. There was always a shoulder to lean on, a smile to encourage you, a pat on the back, in a way so reminiscent of class 3E it pained Karma. He still missed those days, missed Korosensei, missed having a place where he belonged.

He was being greedy, he knew. After all, he and Isogai had lunch together almost every day, Karma still kept in touch with Nagisa and now Okuda was back in his life, too. On some days, he almost forgot that Korosensei wasn’t with them anymore- almost, because night always fell and the crippled moon shone over his head, a grim reminder of his past. Karma always felt an ironic smile tug at the corners of his mouth and the taste of bile on his tongue when he saw the moon, just as broken as him- at least he hid it better.

This wasn’t the time for self-doubt, Karma remembered when he spotted a familiar face in the crowd of spectators.

“Koyama-kun?” Okuda spotted him too.

The man wasn’t alone- Karma gritted his teeth at the sight of his other companions, probably fellow students. Did he want to make a scene? Karma hoped that wasn’t the case- he really didn’t need a second Daisuke incident.

“Okuda,” he acknowledged her presence.

“What are you doing here?” Karma asked in a voice laced with calculated disinterest.

“Yesterday wasn’t half-bad.” Karma schooled his face to remain unchanged- did Koyama actually say that? “I wonder if you can keep it up for a second day- if not, you’d be in quite the pickle. I invited my whole university here.”

Karma’s surprise melted into a vicious grin. “Only the university?” he cooed. “You should have invited all of your acquaintances, it’d make for a greater show.”

Koyama responded with a grin- Karma wasn’t sure if Okuda’s former rival was actually getting better at facial expressions or if he was just too tired, but the smug face didn’t disgust him. Then again, he wasn’t sure whether Koyama was helping them under the pretense of waiting for a chance to ridicule them or actually being a douche- he decided some questions were better left unanswered.

***

“So Koyama is actually here?” Isogai’s eyes widened.

“That’s what I said,” Karma nodded, sipping his strawberry milk. The student council president had more time on that day’s lunch break, after some reprimends that the partakers should take care of their health and buy more than some sandwiches as their meals.

“I can’t believe he’s actually helping you,” Isogai shook his head. “I guess people really do change.”

“Him stopping to be Asano’s puppet was a good thing,” Karma contemplated when an all too familiar voice asked, “Who’s being my puppet now?”

And then- Karma should have expected it, really- a hand wrapped around his neck, bringing his head down to mess with his carefully slicked back bangs. “Yo, captain!” Nakamura yelled in his ear, letting him go to reveal a grinning extending from one ear the other. “Been a while.”

“Nakamura-san!” Okuda yelped, hugging the blonde. “It’s been so long!”

“Has indeed, Okuda-chan! You too, prez!”

“Fancy seeing you here, Nakamura. And Asano too,” Isogai pleasantly smiled. The force with which he shook Asano’s hand said otherwise.

Having arranged his hair back in what Karma deemed an almost perfect style, he crossed his arms and grinned at Asano. “You look pale. Did you drive here?”

The orange-haired looked as annoyed as Karma hoped- he hated being reminded of his carsickness. “No. Jet lag,” he simply said, rubbing his forehead. “I have no idea how  _ she’s  _ so perky,” he added, pointed to his blonde companion.

“You’re just a killjoy, Asano,” Nakamura said, having greeted everyone and returning to his side to mockingly rest her elbow on his shoulder. “I offered to heal you but you declined,” she singsonged.

Karma slipped out his phone to take a picture of them- he knew Nakamura would treat him to anything he wanted later in exchange for that. But more than that, he remembered Nakamura’s phone call, remembered what she put herself through for her friendship with Asano, and felt like he understood a fraction of it. The atmosphere around them was relaxed, like they’ve been bickering all their lives. It made Karma genuinely smile.

“For how long are you guys in town?” Okuda interrupted their banter.

“Oh, just a couple of days,” Nakamura answered. “Are you up to dinner tonight?”

“Sure!” Okuda clapped her hands in delight and Karma nodded lazily. 

Isogai promised to talk with Kataoka as well, and Nakamura rubbed her hands in delight. “This is going to feel like a reunion! I should call Nagisa-chan too! But before that- won’t you guys show us what’s all this riot about?”

“Yeah,” Ishikawa yelled from the front. “I’ve got my hands full- some help would be mighty appreciated,” he shot Karma a look and the redhead laughed.

“Back to work for us, Okuda-san,” he mused, but felt his high spirits returning. Today was a good day after all.

***

Nakamura was strolling through the stalls, enjoying her neverending banter with Asano when she noticed an orange mop of curly hair and came to a stop. “What?” Asano asked her, following her look. A sigh escaped his lips, but Nakamura had spent enough time around him to detect the hint of amusement when he said, “This really is a reunion, huh?”

“Indeed it is,” the blonde beamed and grabbed Asano’s hand, dragging him towards the biology department. She made a sign for him to be silent as she sneaked behind Kurahashi, who was on her lunch break, and covered her eyes with her hands. “Guess who?” she singsonged.

“No way! Rio-chan?!” Kurahashi yelped in surprise. When the blonde lifted her hands, Kurahashi whirled around on her heels and caught Nakamura in a tight hug. “I can’t believe it! I haven’t seen you in ages!”

Nakamura’s grin faded- she had missed her former classmates more than she let herself admit, and if not for Asano, she would have found it much more difficult to study abroad. “Sorry about that,” she said in a voice coated with feigned nonchalance.

When the ray of sunshine finally let go of her and engaged in small talk with Asano, Nakamura took the chance to inspect their booth. It looked like a forest- unsurprisingly similar to their middle school grounds. Nakamura didn’t need to ask to know who was the heart of the project- the low number of children now that Kurahashi was taking a break said volumes about her involvement. When they had passed by this booth earlier, Nakamura could barely see anything save for a sufocating crowd.

“Have you also visited Karma?” Kurahashi asked, her attention back on Nakamura.

“Yeah, but they have their hands full- as you probably do.”

Kurahashi smiled knowingly, and her words made Nakamura wonder what had happened in her absence. “Karma finally learnt he can’t do everything by himself.”

“What do you mean?” Asano asked, suddenly interested now that his eternal rival was in the centre of the discussion. He was so easy to read sometimes.

“Hmm, how should I put it?” Kurahashi pointed a finger to her chin. “He’s a good leader, not a talented team member. But this time around, it felt like Manami-chan was the one in charge. Whether Karma is aware of it or not,” she chuckled to herself.

Asano looked like he had more to say on the subject, but a male voice called for Kurahashi. “When will the fair round up?” Nakamura managed to ask before she left.

“Around six o’clock,” her friend called and disappeared into a new wave of spectators.

“Do you think what she said is true?” Asano asked as their resumed their visit.

Nakamura herself didn’t know. Karma always had the same impish smirk and his golden eyes reflected, but never revealed. Even so, something about him seemed to be different from the last time he had talked to her. Less goal-oriented, if she had to put it into words. Like he was finally taking his time.

_ "Is going through this much pain worth it?"  _ Nakamura wondered whether now he understood her answer- or if he found one of his own.

“Who knows,” she said out loud. Asano didn’t seem happy with the answer, but she didn’t give him time to dwell on it. “Look, the English booth!” she exclaimed and started running toward the stall in question, pulling him along.

***

“Did Isogai-san really not say anything?” Ishikawa asked, running a hand through his hair for the tenth time in the last few minutes. Manami recognized the gesture of nervousness, something he was prone to doing whenever the teachers brought back their tests. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous, too. About the results, about the aftermath, about her team’s response. 

“He said it was a secret, but that we were doing good,” Karma answered, his voice devoid of any emotion.

They’d worked so hard for this, Manami told herself. And even if they didn’t win, she knew they had learnt a lot from this experience. But the assassination training had drilled the desire to succeed in her, and she found it hard to sit still as the Student Council gathered on the stage in front of them.

The buzz from the public died all at once, and Manami furled her fists around the hem of Karma’s cardigan. She felt his hand cover hers, and stole a glance at him to find an encouraging smile aimed at her. Taking a deep breath, Manami squared her shoulders and waited.

“Thank you all for taking part in this year’s event,” Isogai started his speech, ever polite and charming. “I hope the experience has been enriching for all the participants, and that you’ve discovered more, both about the subject you study and the people you work with. But more importantly, we hope you got to know your own selves better.”

A round of applause erupted from the public, but Manami couldn’t tell whether the students were clapping for Isogai’s speech or to urge him to hurry. She had discovered a lot, though- that she could break, but that Karma would always be there for her. That she wanted to touch hearts, not only minds. That she wanted to help people and maybe change their fates.

“I imagine you must all be curious who won the popularity contest.” An affirmative murmur from the participants, and Manami’s blood freezing in anticipation. “We won’t tease you any longer. Just allow me to congratulate you all,” he clapped, as did everyone else on the scene. 

After a moment that felt like an eternity, he pulled an envelope from his coat pocket. His movements as he ripped it open seemed agonizingly slow. “I’d like to invite the representant of the team on stage, so they’d tell us a few words about this experience. Congratulations, Okuda Manami!”

Manami felt everything go still around her. Did he actually say her name? Was she supposed to go up there on stage? Was this real?

It wasn’t until Karma nudged her shoulder that she bolted straight up from her seat and made her way to the scene. Her ears slowly regained the ability to hear, and she found herself engulfed in applauses. She climbed onto the scene in a daze, heart thrumming in her chest as Isogai shook her hand warmly and handed her the microphone, which weighed a ton in her hands.

“Uhm-” she searched for words in the corner of her mind that still functioned “-thank you,” she eventually said and bowed. Another short round of applause gave her time to formulate a sentence. “This has been a great opportunity for me, but I couldn’t have done it without my friends.” Her team-  _ her friends  _ smiled at her from the third row. “So I think they deserve to be up here as much as I do.” She looked at Isogai, who nodded in approval.

One by one, Misaki, Abe, Ishikawa and Tooru joined her. She frowned. “Our coordinator should be here too,” she said, pinning Karma with her violet eyes. He sighed as he got up, but the small, genuine smile blooming on his lips didn’t escape Manami.

When he joined her, Manami felt a cold pair of eyes fixed on them. Indeed, Daisuke was shooting daggers with his look, but Manami decided they deserved this moment of success without worrying about him.

Manami continued, “These guys are the reason why the fair has been so enjoyable for me, and I’m glad I got to work with them.” She looked to her right, and Karma smiled at her fondly, as if saying,  _ You did it, Okuda-san! _

He was wrong.  _ They  _ did it.

“And lastly, I think the student council did an equally fantastic job of hosting this. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to introduce more children to the world of chemistry.”

When Isogai took the microphone from her hand, Manami loosed a breath and spinned around to Karma. “We did it,” she firmly said, raising her hands for a high-five. His crooked smile lightened his face as he touched her hands, and Manami felt like they were back in class 3E, performing for the children.

_ There’s an electric zip when he touches you, but then the butterflies stop stirring, and it just feels right. Like he’s supposed to be there. _

This time, however, she found it much easier to accept the heat in her cheeks and the drumming in her chest.  _ I like Karma-kun, _ she admitted to herself, and felt her lips tug into a smile that mirrored his. It was so easy to admit it- had been so easy to say it all along.

Who knew those three words would make breathing that much easier?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
> Long time no see (please don't hate me!) As you may have noticed, I have changed the number of chapters to 25- after reviewing what I planned for this story, 30 chapters was just stretching it. Karma's arc was too melodramatic (it still has quite a bit of drama in this version, but I'm much more content with it).  
> Either way, I hope you have enjoyed the chapter and yes, I'll stop avoiding the elephant in the room. The ending, right? Well, after all that wait, you deserved the big revelation- and now you can freely scream at me in the comments.  
> I also feel I owe you an apology for this long wait. I won't disappear for this long again, unless... You see, a Copyright Law is being voted in Europe, which my ban us from posting/reading fanfiction. Yes, you heard that right! Since I live in Europe, I'll be affected by this law, and if you're also European but don't know about it, please inform yourselves. Fandoms and memes may die- but we can stop it by contacting our representative in the parliment!  
> Anyways, enough blabbering! I hope I'll see you soon~


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